Sunday, April 5, 2020

In The News - Hey, it's Not Like I Make This Stuff Up.

Imaginary ​President Joe Biden fires Donald Trump as Ambassador to Iran claiming Mr Trump is helping them undermine the USA by sending them pallets of cash.

Nana Pelosi and the democrat house pass law that turns all Republican votes in November 2020  into democrat votes.​  President Trump vetoes the bill so hard it makes her dentures fly into the 6th row of the Bette Midler concert audience.  Concert attendees demand to pay double ticket price on way out of theater.

Vladamir Putin under fire by Russian media for colluding with the US. Reports indicate unusual and frequent sexual activity with Adam Schiff, Nana Pelosi, and Jerry Nadler in New Jersey No-Tell Motel.  MSNBC reporters visually nauseated on air.  Some violently regurgitate directly at camera. 

AOC mixes drinks at luxury home apartment while explaining how vaccines aren't any harder to make than a Rose Spritzer, Fuzzy Navel, or Pink Squirrel. In what appears to be selfie video while mixing,  she exclaims "Come On People, if 3 times 3 = 15, we can knock out this virus by April 37th!"

President Donald J Trump signs executive order declaring all elections null and void - says he will be President until they take Oval Office phone from his cold dead hands.  Jim Acosta self-immolates himself near the entrance of a Planned Parenthood life celebration center in retaliation.

100% of Girl Scouts now pregnant after sleeping in Boy Scout tents over weekend. 17% test positive for STD's, class action suits directed at the Donald Trump administration and Pentagon are pending.  White House press conference by Vice President Mike Pence employs Power Point presentation showing how pregnancy and STDs occur.  Task Force is created and funded by 7 trillion budget infrastructure bill to deal with this issue.

Democrats pass bill declaring makers of sex toys as essential businesses.
 
Based upon President Trumps plea for Americans to mask their mouth using whatever is available, thousands of people now seen walking around with sexy panties covering their faces.  A visibly pleased Joe Biden screams "Go President Trump" before passing out from sexual tension buildup.

President Trump reveals why he refuses to Nuke New York City and other major towns.

Wal-Mart declares it will shoot and kill customers who are within 6 feet of other customers.

China declared Leader of World Health Organization.

Everyone expected to sue everyone else over Corona Virus in late 2020, early 2021.  Stock market takes hit.

Lizzy Warren declares virus is attack on all people with 1/1024th Indian DNA, demands wall street big wigs find people willing to have sex with her.

Rosie O'Donnell claims virus has caused massive hair growth on back, legs, and arms sues federal government for inaction in dealing with corona virus.

Joe Biden seen leafing through Mexican yellow pages in frantic VP Candidate Search.  Also placing adverts on Cinco-DE-Quattro dating website.
 

42 comments :

  1. YEEESSS!! Haha! Another fantastic edition of the Diary covering stories the Fake stream media refuses to. Poor Rosie.

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    1. Thanks Mr Blade ! Yea, that's the pic alright. hahaha

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    2. What's the street price of that stuff you're taking?

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  2. After watching two minutes of Biden on replays of his televised interviews (Watters World), I would believe anything you tell me about the former vice president. Look, I'm no genius ... and I'm older than dirt. But I have to say that if it's true Biden leads Trump by nine points in the polls, as some polls suggest, then America is already done for and it won't matter who becomes president. Seriously ... Biden is about three bubbles off plumb.

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    1. I couldn't agree more Mustang. I'd like to see lots of democrats lose in the next election but if America decides it wants a pedophile with dementia to lead the nation, then I'll just have to go to Attack Plan R.

      Yep, Biden writes his own memes.

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    2. AOW, That's what I thought. 3 bubbles is being awfully generous. Well Mustang is a generous kinda guy or gal or whatever.

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  4. And Biden talks about the kids rubbing the Hair on his legs in the swimming Pool

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    1. Honestly Moonbat, who would make a comment like that, true or not. heh.

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  6. We have reached the point that our real enemies, who are the people that Hate us, the Democratic Socialists, the Progressive Left, the Never Trumpers, and the rest of that entire Leftist bunch, including Shiff, Chuck Schumer, Jerry Nadler, and Nancy Pelosi must be defeated. For our future as a nation. This new impeachment threat is the last straw. I am not about political correct nonsense. They are the enemy.

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    1. They ARE the enemy Mr Smasher. No question about it. Anti-American communist tyrants.

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    2. THAT rotten stinking crowd? Not DEFEATED. They must be DELETED –– as in DISAPPEARED, VANISHED, DEAD and BURIED or better yet CREMATED. Definitely KAPUT. OVER and DONE WITH.

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  8. After watching the video clips of Joe Biden’s combination of sounds that were supposed to be an answer to his televised interviews I would have believe anything you tell me about Joe Biden. And like they say “sSlence is Golden”. And I have to say that if it is at all true that Biden leads Trump by nine points in the polls, as some polls suggest, then America is really Sicker than they are reporting. .
    Biden's interview was not only very incoherent, but one of the most embarrassing things you’ll ever see from an American Politician. . But that iwas one of those cases where you really have to see it for yourself

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    1. Tom, reminds us of the last days of Rome, where they began electing horses to the Senate eh? Biden, Pelosi being 3rd in line, Mad Maxine, etc etc. American government is very sick but blame voters, then drill all the way down and blame parents for the voters.

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    2. Tom, let me just add that it is true: Kid remembers the last days of Rome. It's gotten to the point where even his facial wrinkles have wrinkles. :-)

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    3. Mustang, True. Man those were the days. We thought they'd never end.

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    4. Electing horses to the senate? Why not?

      Weve been electing HORSE'S ASSES to that pack of loudmouthed fools, thieves, traitors and degenerates for the past hundred years –– at least.

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    5. Agree Franco. We'd be much better off with horses.

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    6. EVEN BETTER YET WITH CATS, KID. ;-)

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    7. Yea, better with cats Franco.

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    8. It's gotten where the Tom Shillue parodies of Biden are looking rational in contrast.

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  9. THESE ARE JUST FANTASTIC, KID! YOU DO HAVE A GIFT!!

    BUT "LIZZY" WARREN? you big buddies now? HAAAAAAAA!!!

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    1. Thanks so Much Z !

      Lizzy? No, I'm just stringing her along to keep her mind occupied.

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    2. Lizzie Warren’s sharpened axe
      Waits to give Kapital forty whacks.

      And when she has destroyed the banks
      She’ll say you owe her many thanks.

      Then she will wreck th’economy
      Reduce us all to penury

      So we’ll all grovel at her feet
      Begging for enough to eat.

      Lizzie plans to set us free
      By levying on you and me
      A FULL ONE HUNDRED PERCENT TAX!


      ~ FreeThinke

      I've had that out there off and on for YEARS.

      Kid can REVISE it for me now that Dizzy Lizzie's been BENCHED, praise the Lord!

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    3. Franco, Odd how much mileage the dems get from "hate the rich" and "they're racist". Are so many people that fucking stupid?

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    4. Now you see exactly why ENVY is consdered one of The Seven Deadly Sins, eh Kid?

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    5. Franco, I think we have 8 deadly sins now. #8 - voting democrat.

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    6. Kid,
      Voting Democrat is definitely Deadly Sin #8!

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  10. The Voice of ReasonApril 6, 2020 at 8:38 AM

    This thing that they are doing with Joe Biden is disgraceful. The man is clearly sick, and unfit to be doing what he is doing, the campaigning, the traveling, and the embarrassing appearances where he forgets what he is saying in the middle of a sentence. How does the wife allow this! Or does sh want to become the First Lady that badly? The DNC should be charge for elderly abuse! These are scary he same people that were all over Trumps medical record! The hypocrisy is nauseating and what they’ve done with Biden shamefully disgraceful, and this public humiliation is shameful.!

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  11. We are ADULT Americans, and we shouldn't need to explain why we are going out, or for what, or that we should or shouldn’t wear a mask! . We should be able to define what is "essential" to us and what is not! For example would some one please tell me why a Liquor Store is “.essential”! Yes, I know that some of us may want a glass of Booze, or Wine, but ESSENTIAL!???
    Was it “Essential” when Cuomo and Bill de Blabbero told everyone to go to the Chinese New Year Festival? President Trump was so far ahead of those two Clowns and yes they blame Trump for being late! Go figure!
    And it was Cuomo who said: “We're never going to be the same normal after coronavirus. We got to get to a new normal.”
    I would like to know what this “new normal" he is referring to!

    And yes, we shouldn't go out if we are SICK and we shouldn't purposely sneeze, or cough, or spit on other people, but do we really need to be told that.
    Other than that, everyone can mind their own damn business and stay out of mine.
    Don’t tell me that you can’t put the groceries that I am buying from you in the re-useable bag that I was told to bring into your store because YOU won’t give me one of your bags without paying for the damn thing!

    And don’t tell me that YOUR store workers are more important than I am.
    And don’t shaming people for shopping for what they think is ESSENTIAL, just because someone else calls it NON-ESSENTIAL.

    And when I want to take a walk, don’t tell meto carry six foot yardsticks with me! Honestly I think that I know enough to understand what “Social Distancing “ means.

    As for Face Masks, the CDC says that they RECOMMEND face masks, so if I don’t want to wear one, don’t give me those dirty looks for not wearing one!

    And don’t you think that I should know that I shouldn’t be going out when, or if were sick!
    I went to a CVS store the other day. The check out counter was covered in Plastic. There was a Plastic curtain from the ceiling to the floor separating the clerk from the customers, there was tape was on the floor marking 6 foot... the one Cashier who wore gloves, a mask, and a plastic gown let ME use the credit Card machine and press the bottons but she washed hands with satirizer when she was done with my sale..........

    We are actually destroying the economy and our lively hoods right before our eyes. The Small business owners, and the restaurants are dying......perhaps that is EXACTLY what the Leftist Globalist want. People just need to use common sense for a while.........They Can't Shut it down Forever, like Trump said, the Cure is going to be worse that the Disease. ..

    And how come nobody was talking about or even mentioned the time when Andrew Cuomo was giving his daily “press briefing” ( or campaigning) and he did a live remote call with his brother Chris Cuomo and CNN who stopped broadcasting the President not covering TRUMP so it will be more interesting to see Andrew Cuomo complain about wasting time with things like Andy, and Chris telling their Personal family stories not related to the Virus situation but BSing for 15 minute live calls with his brother Fredo about the good old days with their “Pop”. Mario Cuomo.

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  12. Kid,
    I love how you phrased Item 2 above!

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  13. The Idiot Genius's on the left say that we should stay in our houses like hermits until the virus is all gone even if it takes two years. Brilliant plan. There will be NO viruses left likely, but also, no economy. And no America.

    Great idea. what a brilliant bunch of Imbeciles. .

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  14. "Democrats pass bill declaring makers of sex toys as essential businesses."
    They've already said that about abortion mills. No joke.

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    1. True Ed. This stuff writes itself doesn't it ? :)

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