Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Stuart Smalley a Senator...

The Dems have a super majority.

Get ready for the pain folks. It's coming and it's going to be here a good while.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Chapter 4 - Sex and the City

Chapter One - Boring but Short.
Chapter Two - Death Cheating Maniacs.
Chapter Three - Death Cheating Maniacs Part II

The story is going to jump around a little because at this point, lots of stuff was happening but not in any particular flow that lends itself to good segues.

Well, taking a step back, I'm 9 and in the 3rd grade of a Catholic grade school run by and taught by nuns. One of my 3rd grade teachers is Sister Maria C..... She was the hottest female I had ever seen to this point, even though I had only seen her face and hands because of the habit she always wore. I think she was about 24 or so. I wanted to tell her what a crush I had on her, but that simply wasn't done eh.

One day, I happen to bring a novel to class with me. It is the James Bond 007 episode "Moonraker". Plenty of sex and violence. She spies this novel on my desk and wants to know what it is and where I got it. "Robert, what do you have on your desk?" "A James Bond novel" - "Where did you get that book from? "I stole it from my brother..."
She knows my brother because she taught him last year. She no doubt had some troubles with him as well. As far as I could tell, she looked a lot like the lady on the cover too.

She is oddly upset about this (to my thinking anyway) and, sitting at her desk in front, calls me to the front of the classroom. And bring the book. I go up, not knowing what to expect, and when I get there, she takes the novel and drops it in the trash can. Then she tells me to lay across her lap. Va-Va Vooom ! A dream come true ! She spanks me pretty good. Well, I have been spanked by the master - my dad, and this version is pure nirvana. I am thoroughly enjoying this, which becomes quite obvious to her after a short while.

She, red-faced, tells me to get up and go back to my seat, which is in the back of the class. Me, red-faced and smiling, head back to my desk, walking past 20 or so classmates, male and female who are thinking incorrectly that I'm unhappy. She never spanked me again, and I really didn't give her any reason to anyway. I wasn't looking for it. It was like getting a Monopoly card that says - "Get spanked by super hot nun; pass Go, collect whatever you want for desert".

I'll just toss in that a couple months later, some guys and I are in the playground on the school grounds playing handball. I'm at the plate and in comes the handball. Right as I hit the ball and send it sailing over second base, I see that she happens to be in the center field area facing in my direction. The ball is somewhat of a line drive with a little loft and unfortunately, it hits her right in the crotch area, sending her to the ground. The guys and I run over, me apologizing profusely, asking if there is anything we can do. "NOOOOO!". We help her to her feet. I sure felt bad about that. I still had a huge crush on her. I think she knows I didn't do it on purpose. I hope she does. The following year she quit the nunnery and went back into private life and I never saw her again.

Here's what the school looks like today. It is the building with the large cross on the front. Assumption Grade School

The taller building behind it was the elementary school, grades 1 through 6 I believe, then the one in front was grades 7 and 8. The playground was behind what is now the CoGO. The building behind the elementary school with the two spires is the Assumption Church. Very impressive inside. All marble and stained glass. I was actually a choir boy in that church right around this age range.

Anyway, this whole period seemed to kick off an era of odd sexually based episodes, none of which actually culminated on anything physically happening, but the buds were opening and the stamens were pointing skyward looking for the wayward female honey bee. I made my first communion in Assumption Church at 8 years old, and I went 'steady' with my communion partner, Particia D An.. for about 6 months. I walked to her house just about every day to see her, and we'd sit in her back yard. We kissed once and her older sister yelled at us. Eventually we just drifted apart for no particular reason.

Occasionally, a homosexual pedophile would cruise by on his speedboat on the Ohio River, looking for a 'young man' who wanted to go for a ride, and we'd deal with the sucker in a variety of ways. We knew what was happening. We'd say No. Sometimes the sucker would say Ok and drive off. Sometimes the sucker would be a little more persistent. Not a good plan.

There were always at least 3 of us and we'd pick up some rocks and tell him to head off or suffer the consequences. A couple times, we actually pelted some dude and his boat with rocks taken from around the train tracks. They're about half the size of your fist and nothing to sneeze at. None of them ever tried getting out of the boat and making it the 12 feet or so vertical between the river and the train tracks. Good thing for them. We were expert rock throwers and the tracks offered an unlimited supply of rocks.

At this point in the adventures down by the river and the train tracks, we felt like we were a gang - not by today's standards of violence because there really wasn't any violence other than of a defensive nature and hardly any of that, but just by camaraderie, and so we needed a clubhouse.

Dwayne, who you know from the last chapter and his brother Daryl (No, seriously), lived right along the Ohio River Blvd, between said Boulevard and the Ohio River, separated only by the 100 foot cliff and the train tracks. It seems that a house about 4 or 5 houses down from theirs had a basement which would pretty much always be open for business and where we could congregate to exercise gang fellowship type activities like learning how to smoke cigarettes and look at Playboy magazine. My first cigarette was a Viceroy and it tasted like shit. How I ever ended up smoking is beyond me, as I know I wasn't addicted to the nicotine for some time to come but just had to be a smoker because everyone I knew at that point in my life was a smoker, and it was just the cool thing to do. We were Cool Jerks. I smoked for another 40 years then quit.

Well, it turns out the basement was the basement of a Cathouse, as we would soon find out, because the sounds upstairs weren't muffled to any extent by the building itself and we would hear the comings and goings and the conversations between the ladies and the customers. We would hang around down there in the early evening and chuckle at the things we heard going on, on the floor above.

Sometimes the women would come down in the mornings and talk with us. One of them would bring her cat which she would hold close to her bosom and we would pet the kitty and, by accident of course, our hands would stray ever so slightly and touch some skin in the general vicinity.. She didn't seem to mind and neither did we. We were interested but shy, and grateful for the hangout, so we didn't take any liberties with the ladies.

The next thing that comes to mind is our meeting down at the tracks in the summer and we're around 10, and it was kind of a show and tell session. I think I blew everyone out in this category that day, because I brought a German P-38 Lugar that my dad brought home from WWII. It was loaded of course Monsieur.

Well, what are you going to do with a loaded pistol down at the train tracks with a freight train hurtling by at 45 mph but shoot at the freight cars ?

So, we each took a turn shooting a 9mm bullet at a speeding freight train, not expecting much to happen, and it didn't. All you could notice was a little puff of rust being blown off the side of the freight car.

One of the dudes who was with us was kind of new to our group and we handed the pistol to him and he promptly shot a round off, then next thing we know he was pointing the pistol at his head. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! we all shouted. Apparently, His dad never taught him anything about guns and he had not a clue about how a semi-automatic pistol operated. This was even more odd since he'd seen us take a few shots with it. We explained how a semi-automatic pistol operated and took the gun away. He came very close to being dead. He was a one day member of our gang.

Soon after, the group came to my house one day in the morning to get me and we'd all go down by the tracks and do whatever as usual, but my Mom said (she told me later) she had a really bad feeling about this day and she would not let me out. I was beside myself, but what could I do. I found out the next day, a dude who wasn't really part of our gang, but who would come by on occasion, Mike S, who was climbing the cliffs with the guys that day, fell from about 50 feet directly onto the tracks and broke "every bone in his body". The other guys had to scramble down the cliff and pull him off the tracks before a train came. He was in the hospital for many months. I didn't know him that well, and wondered if it really would have been me on the tracks if my Mom wasn't physic.

By the time he got out, my brother and I were in the Boy Scouts and occupied otherwise. People would simply come and go in those days and one didn't pay a lot of attention to it. Whoever wanted to hang would show up in the usual meeting places and that was that. Whoever wasn't there obviously wasn't interested and we assumed they were off doing something else.

We were starting to get pretty bored with the train tracks now and since we'd done everything with moving trains that red-blooded 10ish year old boys could do, we got involved in other things. I remember a couple of the guys talking about robbing gas stations and at that point, I told them I wasn't interested. They went off and did their thing and I don't know if they actually robbed anyone or not. Never saw em again.

A couple years went by, and one day, myself and 3 of the guys who would generally be down at the tracks just happened to be hanging around close to the tracks and one thing led to another and we headed down there. We walked along the tracks, tossed some rocks, reminisced about the old days (We're 12 or 13) and walked the tracks in the direction of Pittsburgh and close to our houses, just talking until we got to a cut in the cliff.

The cliff would go straight up from the tracks about 100 feet and at one point there was a ravine cut into the cliff so that maybe 20 feet of the tracks would be exposed at the bottom and there was a gentle slope leading up to the top of the cliff that you could simply walk up to get to the Ohio River Blvd. We decided to take this route back up to the boulevard and about 3/4 of the way back up is a discarded semi-trailer tire. These things are around 4 feet high and fairly heavy. You've seen 18 of them on trucks passing by on the freeways.. So, we stand the truck tire up and point it down the ravine and give it a little push.

Just as we do that, a railroad dick (Detective) appears, walking along the tracks closest to us, from the right to the left. At the bottom of the ravine is a water catch area that is bordered by a square assembly of railroad ties and a little tunnel that goes under the tracks and allows the bulk of the water to flow on out to the Ohio river. We noticed this thing had a couple feet of water at the bottom of it that was still there from the last rain. We could see what was going to happen. We probably should have yelled 'Lookout!".

Sure enough, the railroad dick was centered in the ravine and directly in front of this water catch when the tire hit a boulder, bounded up into the air, and came smack dab down into the water dead center, throwing enough water on him to get him pretty wet. He was pissed.

Apparently, dudes other than us had been down to the tracks and unlike us, must have been causing some real trouble down there, prompting the railroad dick to be walking the tracks in the first place.

The dude pulled a .22 caliber pistol and began shooting at us. We're like 75 yards away and we immediately duck down behind boulders and trees and we could hear the bullets ricocheting off the boulders.

The dude reloaded three times and each time he did we stood up and tossed rocks at the sucker. Hey, we didn't deserve to be shot at! And the rocks were motivation enough for him to not come any closer.

Anyway, we didn't have enough time during reloads to make it to the top of the ravine and away so we were pinned down. After the 3rd reload he was out of bullets and he started yelling at us to never come back down there. We told him to ...errrr..and arrrrr, and finally convinced he really was out of bullets as he walked off and disappeared behind the next cliff face, got up and out of the ravine. I mean really, this time we're doing Nothing and end up getting shot at...

Well we didn't head back to the tracks anymore anyway. We had done everything we could think to do down there and now it's time to get into some other stuff like the Boy Scouts, Girls and the rest of our lives.

Well, Here's What he Said

"But what we can do is make sure that at least some of the waste that
exists in the system that's not making anybody's mom better, that is
loading up on additional tests or additional drugs that the evidence
shows is not necessarily going to improve care, that at least we can let
doctors know and your mom know that, you know what? Maybe this isn't going to help. Maybe you're better off not having the surgery, but
taking the painkiller.

And those kinds of decisions between doctors and patients, and
making sure that our incentives are not preventing those good decision,
and that -- that doctors and hospitals all are aligned for patient care,
that's something we can achieve."

As usual with Democrats, and especially Obama, there's a lot of misleading mumbo-jumbo here around Obama's central point which is don't plan on 'loading' up on additional tests and drugs, and use your head folks, you can count out those additional procedures too like expensive surgeries. And what 'evidence' is he talking about?? He made that up on the spot. There is no such evidence of a general nature that additional tests are unnecessary.

Has Obama said one Effing thing that has come to fruition ? So far, he is only making good on those things which will be recorded on the side of the ledger marked the 'Destruction of America'. Natl Non-Health Care, Cap and Trade Tax - the largest tax increase in the history of mankind.

Now Obama said 1000 times if he said it once that 95% of Americans will get a tax break. This tax on energy which the energy providers will pass on to you because they can't run their businesses at a loss, is a tax on the poorest of the poor. Everyone needs energy. He is every bit and more the slimey snake oil bullshit salesman I fingered him to be 2 and a half years ago after hearing him talk for all of 5 minutes.

This is not conceit. I'm no genius. How can I see what this guy is and so many cannot? And as his campaign rolled on, his idiot-speak got exponentially surreal. Boggles the mind.

Get ready for non-health care. I told ya 2 years ago and here it is again. Get ready for the redistribution of your wealth and hard work not just to lazy Americans, but lazy people all over the world.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Ed McMahon - Most Proud of His Marine Service

Big Hat Tip: Blackfive

You gotta ask yourself how a former Marine like Ed McMahon dies and his service as a Marine (see B5 story) does not even get a mention in America by "American Media".

There is something happenin here, and what it is actually Is perfectly clear.
This tune is so well known I thought was gonna be corny to put it in here but after listening to it, it's actually pretty Aprapos to what's happenin here.

Anyway, I started maintaining a list now of celebrities from the 'Greatest Generation' that served America. There are certainly publications on the subject as well. First on my list are:

Audey Murphy - In 27 months of combat action, Murphy became one of the most highly decorated United States soldiers of World War II

Lee Marvin - Marvin left school to join the United States Marine Corps, serving as a Scout Sniper in the 4th Marine Division

Jimmy Stewart - In 1966, Brigadier General James Stewart flew as a non-duty observer in a B-52 on a bombing mission during the Vietnam conflict

I cannot think of a single celebrity today who has served in the military, though there are quite a few who support the military by performing for the troops in country. Maybe this is one reason the celebrity obsessed media don't like to draw attention to the service of others like Edward McMahon.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Why has this Not Occurred to Me Until Now !?

Obama left Chicago, but He Ain't headed for New Orleans anytime soon.

If GW Bush totally Screwed the people of New Orleans, why in the Carp is Obama Not Recitifying this situation and why is it not in the news day after day ?

Wait! I Know....

I'm No Fortunate Son...

But I got No Problem Being Ready and Willing to destroy evil.

I see Barack Obama has Disinvited the Iranians From the 4th of July American Independence Day Celebrations at the US Embassy

Now THIS is getting serious.

The Iranians must be pissed. I'll bet they spent 4 bucks or so on the 'Death to America' signs they had made up special for their visit on the 4th, and what are they going to do with them now ?

Plus missing out on the Hotdogs. Well, wait... Guess they could have brought some of their own stuff in a pot luck kinda thing.

I wonder if they practiced any of the American Patriotic songs for the party kick-off and now consider that time wasted as well.

I hope we haven't made them so mad it has caused massive recruiting of new terrorists.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Breaking News of the Past

Here's a story that is going to be out of place in the memoirs, but so what.

So my friend sees my post about the BSA Rocket III and sends me this email regarding one of our adventures.

One of my favorite BSA stories.....

We were on Ohio River Blvd....I was on the back of your BSA with my right arm in a cast. We pulled up at the light at the bottom of Elizabeth Ave in front of the Wagon Wheel....next to a Corvette....then without warning we were off to the races....I remember looking down to see the fingers of my left hand between my legs....with a death grip on the chrome seat bar....I was sitting on my own forearm going about 100 mph wondering whether that yellow vet was going to run me over after I fell off.....this was truly my greatest gecko moment!


Here's a picture of what we were looking at before the light turned green. Though it was at night I believe. Corvette on the right.

Give it a sec to load up and you get the street view. You can also navigate around once you're there by dragging the picture around.

Ohio River Blvd and Elizabeth Ave.

So, here he is, left hand death grip on that chrome bar between the seat and taillight, feet on the pegs with heels locked against the back of the pegs, (which is the only thing that would save ya), laying on top of your left arm. Jeeez. I've had several experiences like that myself which will come in future chapters, but still.

Sorry about that again Bob.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Obama has a Mental Problem

It has become self-evident in how he goes after anyone or anything that raises dissent in his general direction.

He has suggested people shouldn't listen to Rush Limbaugh.

The most recent example is how he is crying like a baby over Fox news because, according to him, you could listen to Fox all day and not hear anything supportive of him.

The sucker has 99% of the media in his back pocket that Rush very accurately refers to as the state run media. They give him verbal blow jobs multiple times per day, every day and support any thing he wants to do. Msnbc every couple minutes.

This might be a good time to point out that while this situation was the total opposite for GW Bush, in that 99% of the media beat him with the fugley stick each and every freakin day, he never criticized that media, or suggested that they shut up or that you shouldn't listen to them. That is strength and class. That is First Ammendment rights. Anyway, my point has little to do with GW Bush but the contrast is useful.

So, Obama, bothered by any kind of dissent, that he must call them out on a regular basis nationwide, is proof of some kind of mental problem.

How arrogant do you have to be to think everyone should follow in lock-step with you?

If you don't even consider that you might be wrong about something, you have a very serious mental problem.

Barak Obama is a Meglomaniac.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Since I mentioned Chet Atkins, let's Stick Him In Here

Before this video starts, Chet mentions that 'a boy who plays like he does and lives in Maine, Guy Van Duser, taught him how to play this particular tune. True I'm sure but Chet played a lot of stuff that he figured out himself over the course of 60 years that I'm aware of.

Plus it's an America tune. Enjoy.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Mohammed Ali's of the Guitar World

I don't feel like thinking tonight, so I'm just going to put down some note makers.

Couple of em anyway..
Both of these men, like me, idolized Chet Atkins.

They worked a lot harder at playing guitar than I did.

And a nice little tune they play together.

Check em out on Youtube. Lot's of content that you'll probably like more than this stuff.

Yes, This is an Actual Headline in the News

Madoff barred from acting as investment adviser.

Followed by this appetizer:

Bernard Madoff, who ran the biggest investment fraud in history, has partially settled a US Securities and Exchange Commission civil complaint against him without having to admit any wrongdoing.

Ah Hahahahahaha

We live in a cartoon world. We have crossed over into Toon Town without knowing it. Ahahahaha

Sunday, June 14, 2009

The Naked Bike Ride

"It's like a fun protest," said Williamsburg resident Paul Nocera, 48, an organizer for New York's World Naked Bike Ride. "We want to have fewer cars and more room for bikes. We want to get people out of their cars and onto bikes."

Damn Hippies

Hey Paul, Kissa My Assa

I drive 17 miles to work. I'm not doing it on a bike. With a seat the size of a banana stuffed up my ass. At maybe 10 mph average with the hills along the way. Better things to do with my time dig?

And what is the problem with oil ? It is the cheapest form of energy in existence. No doubt you'd like everyone to pay twice as much, at least, to get where they're going every day.

Supports Terrorism you say ? Well the only solution for that is to man up and kill all the terrorists.

Why is that? Well, it's because if you stop buying their oil, they don't have money to buy food to feed their kids. Guess how much they'll want to kill your infidel ass then ?

Learn to go to the heart of the problem. The right answer is almost never the easiest answer.

You liberals can never think beyond step one.

Friday, June 12, 2009


From the Washington Post:

"They came by the hundreds, from Florida and Ohio, New York and Texas, passing through the same entrance at the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum where two days earlier security officers shot a man who had gunned down one of their own. "

So, why don't they go to EVERY scene where some whackjob kills some people ?

European Union and Microsoft

This is what Happens when you give Liberals half an inch.

Microsoft has offered to sell a version of their software without part of their software - the browser.

The EU says Not Good Enough.

Microsoft should say - Ok FU, we don't have a product for your region then apparently. Good luck.

They won't of course, because they'd lose a bunch of sales. Man I hate Liberals, they're such regressive F*s. Imagine where we could be as a society without these mental cases.

Seriously, this would be like telling Ford that they can not sell their cars in Europe unless Ford offers their vehicles in Europe with some Chevrolet and Chrysler and Toyota and Honda components.


See, this is what happens when you give Stupid Liberals half a Freaking Inch.

Beside the fact, that any 1st grader can download Mozilla in two shakes if they don't want to use IE ! Or Opera. Or any other browser they want.

It's almost unbelievable how stupid and evil they are.
And if anyone is wondering - I could Care Less about Microsoft.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Socialism Sucks Fact Number 12

They've delayed the switch to digital TV, and they may delay it again.

Regardless, once was enough to illustrate how socialism, which caters to the stupid ignorant drooling small percentage of the population who can't get ready for Digital TV, given 3 F*ing years notice, is holding the rest of society back.

Add the fact that if the dumbasses haven't done anything by now they Never Will, so why delay it ?? In some dumbass liberal fantasy that holds Hope they will Change ????

This is the main enemy of Progress.

Isn't it delicious how people who support such nonsense call themselves 'Progressives' ?

They really should call themselves Dumbasses.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Monday, June 8, 2009

Obama, Speech, D-Day

Quick comment.

Here's an excerpt.

"Friends and veterans, we cannot forget. What we must not forget is that D-Day was a time and a place where the bravery and the selflessness of a few was able to change the course of an entire century."

........OF A FEW...........

150,000 soldiers pointed at Normandy from the air and sea...
10,000 Dead the first day..

I don't believe Obama has a freakin Clue.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Chapter Three - Death Cheating Maniacs Part II

Chapter One
Chapter Two

(Quick tip. As you're reading the story and looking at the pictures, you can right click on the picture and select "open link in new tab" -if you're using Firefox- then you can alternate between reading the story and looking at the enlarged picture just moving from tab to tab)

So, I'm still 8 years old and having a blast. One day, a Saturday, I head down to the train tracks to meet up with my buddies. Unfortunately the weather really sucked. It was a cold spring day, very windy, very grey, and drizzling rain, but I wanted to do anything but hang around at home. I got down there, over the people bridge across the tracks and out on to the deck next to the first set of tracks and looked around. Nobody. No doubt they were cuddled up at home studying old issues of their father's Playboy magazines.


The people bridge was attached to the one lane street that led to the tracks and the Ohio River. It was a bridge that crossed over the 4 sets of tracks and then down the stairs on the other side to a loading platform where working people would congregate waiting for the passenger trains to take them to downtown Pittsburgh to work. Those trains went fast all the time... no messing with those suckers. My dad took those trains into work everyday.

I'm there by myself, nothing to do really. I half-heartedly threw a few rocks into the river and all of a sudden I see my dad crossing the bridge, heading for me. Wowsa.
There was no where for me to go, so I just stood there. He got to me, grabbed me by the arm and propelled me back home by pushing my entire body into the air and forward using his hand on my backside. No exaggeration. As I remember it, this day really sucked. Well, needless to say, I stayed away from the tracks for at least a week.

Here's a picture of the area. The island is Neville Island. Click for larger version. The house I grew up in is somewhere on the right hand side close to this side of the island where you can see the smoke stacks. The thing on the right that looks like a bridge is actually the Emsworth lock and dam. Just to the right of it, you can see the train tracks running along the river. Notably , you cannot see the tracks from that point further back towards you. That's because just between the tracks and the residential area is a 100 foot cliff, obscuring the tracks, that we climbed all over like mountain goats. This is where the story goes next.

At this point, I'm around 10 years old now. A bunch of us are down there one day and, in an unusual appearance, is my older brother Steve. He was a year older than me and of course his friends wanted nothing to do with his one year younger Dweeb brother.. We're climbing the cliffs starting from the point just above the little street that leads down there. We're about 20 feet up and I'm resting against a tree watching my brother scale a somewhat sheer rock face that's about 20 feet high leading to a horizontal trail on the cliff. All of a sudden he loses his grip and comes rolling back down straight towards me, rolled up like a pill bug.

Instinctually, I wrapped my left arm around the tree I had been leaning against and just threw my right arm out in his path. He came out of his pill bug configuration right at the time he rolled into me and I wrapped my right arm around his waist and caught him with my right arm while staying attached to the tree with my left. No thought, total instinct. I was more surprised than he was. Man, he told that story every time the two of us were together and people were telling stories and other times no doubt when I wasn't around. According to him, it was 50 feet to the street below and I saved his life in this incredible feat of strength. He exaggerated a little. We cooled the cliff climbing for the day.

In the Neville island picture, the section of river that went between the tracks and the island was about 3/4's of a mile. Barges were constantly running up and down the river hauling coal and other materials to the steel mills just off the picture on the top right.

We would swim in the river and back in those days the river was more of a chemical experiment. Every heavy industry around Pittsburgh dumped their waste into the river and my Mom always knew I was lying about swimming in it because she'd have to soak my black underwear in Clorox to get them white again. Plus, she'd see us hauling inner tubes down there. We were lazy liars. I can only imagine what my Mom thought about our activities, the details of which she didn't find out about at all or until much later but she must have had some idea.

We would swim out to these barges, and the guys on the barge would always warn us about getting too close, because the barges tend to suck you under and draw you right for the propellers. They would throw us bags of apples and other food items that we could catch and haul back to shore. Before we swam back, we'd wait until the barge just got past us and swim like hell to get directly in back of the thing where there would be 3-5 foot waves coming off the back from the draft and those propellers. A quick thrill. The one in the picture doesn't have his engines cranked up much from the looks of it.

Swim back to shore, try not to step on any broken glass on the way out, which was usually caused by us tossing bottles into the river then throwing rocks at them to break them before the current took them too far away. Then it's time for a snack and see what kind of stuff we can think up to do next.

Well, one of the guys in our group was a big crazy mother. His name was Dwayne. We found a spot where the maintenance crews had several bottles of oxygen and acetylene lying around by the tracks for miscellaneous welding jobs and they were usually full. We cooked up a scheme to build a catamaran type deal out of wood that was lying around. The Ben Avon lumber company was nearby and they often dumped junk wood 'out back', which happened to be near the tracks or close enough. Onto this catamaran type deal, we would lash one of the oxygen bottles to the top, point the sucker out into the river and wait for a barge to come chugging along.

Took us a few days to get the thing built and haul one of our dad's sledge hammers down there.

We're ready to go and here comes a barge. We slip this contraption into the river and as the barge starts to come close; Dwayne hauls off with the sledge and knocks the valve off the top of the oxygen bottle. That sucker propelled this catamaran thing just like a torpedo straight out into the river and slammed into the side of the barge - BoOiIoIIoong!. The dudes who were working on the barge looked kinda scared for a second when they saw it coming, then shook their hands at us after it hit and they saw who the perps were. Man, that was beautiful, funny as hell and total luck. We never did it again.

I know you don't believe this. This is one of the stories I stopped telling. But consider we were 10. We could tear our bikes down and put em back together. We built wooden cars and knew how to make them so they'd go straight down the hill. We were in Boy Scouts and had built wooden lookout towers lashing logs together with rope. We read Playboy magazine. Well we looked at it mostly. We were entrepreneurs ! And Damn, that was a blast, and I admit I was no where near that oxygen bottle when Dwayne pounded the valve off the top.

Well, back to the Ben Avon Bridge. Click the picture for a larger version.
I guess this really is THE Ben Avon bridge. It is further away than it looks and it is taller.. or maybe we were smaller. Anyway, my brother Steve and I are down there and we approach the bridge from the underside from the road area.

I tell him I'm gonna climb out to the middle area underneath. He can't believe it.

I start going. The vertical cement pillars you see coming from the arches to the bottom of the bridge are wide enough that as I passed them, my toes and about half my foot would be on the arch portion and with my arms extended, only my fingers and half my palm of each hand would be on either side of the pillar. As I said, they are wider than they look. At 10, I guess my reach is about 2 feet. Maybe a little more. Too late to check it. So I make may my way past all the pillars and I get to the top area of the arch.

As you can see on this angle, there is a pillar, a wall, a pillar, a wall,and another pillar. On the inside of the bridge, where I was travelling, there is actually a 'room'. No wall. So you could get yourself around the pillar and get into a 3 sided room between the top of the arch and the bottom of the bridge. Given the height at that area, I had to lay on my side to go around the pillar. Again, the ledge is about wide enough to get a size 6 shoe halfway on and halfway off as the toes are pointed toward the pillar, so there isn't a lot of room to put your body as you traverse from the arch to the room around the pillar. I start going anyway. Steve is yelling at me that I'm out of my mind. I am of course. I get around to the point my head is all the way around the pillar which puts a lot of my body weight into thin air as I grasp at the far side of the pillar with my gecko-like finger tips and just then a bunch of freakin pigeons fly out of the room (their nest) right towards me. Scary. But I don't move. They're gone now. Jeeesh. I make my way into the first of 2 rooms. I breeze through the next one, down the other side of the arch and off to the middle set or rooms.

We figured this bridge was about 150 feet from the ground below in the middle. The lumber company had some German Sheppard dogs who would wander around underneath like junkyard dogs and we were convinced that if one fell and lived, the dogs would eat us. Actually, they'd probably lick your face. Your dead face.

So, I get into the first room and rest. My God. I look out across the underside of the bridge and sticking out from the underside of the roadway are a number of rebar pieces sticking straight down out of the cement about 8 to 10 inches long. I don't have a picture of it but this gives you a conceptual idea of what we're talking about.

The underside of the bridge, given it is a 4 lane roadway, with no center turn lane, guessing about 8 feet per lane gives us 32 feet across from one side to the other. Subtract the width of the arches and we're talking 20 feet or so.

IN THE MIDDLE of the underside of the roadway next to one of the rebar pieces is something written in black spray paint. It says Dwayne G.........

Are you shittin me?

Dwayne either swung out there 10 feet like a monkey with a can of spray paint and wrote his name on the bottom of the bridge holding on with one hand, or built some kind of contraption to hold a spray can out there and using some sort of remote control to press the trigger on the spray can wrote his name. I shit you not. Wow. I was impressed and not inclined to try to top the dude.

As an aside, isn't it cool how you can go to Google and actually find pictures of this stuff? Hell, you could go to Microsoft Live Earth (better pics than Google) and get a recent satellite close up image.

(Believe it or not - Even more tracks, river, cliff stuff to come in Chapter 4)

Friday, June 5, 2009

Booker T and the MGs' - The Best Instrumental of All Time

A Keystone of rock and roll. It shaped the bass lines and attitude of Rock and Roll for decades to come.

It was the back beat to my life as I walked this rock in search of thrills and chills as a young man.

Green Onions

Proof Positive you Can't Give as a Life Long Strategy

Barak Hussein Obama - Affirmative Action to Harvard. He is now the President.

He hates America. Thinks America is arrogant. Among other things.

Michelle Obama - Affirmative action to Princeton. She is now the First Lady.

She hates America. Thinks America is Mean.

They're Both Millionaires !

People need the struggle in order to appreciate what they have done, and most importantly to appreciate what Others Have Done ! What America has Done !

Obama's Lengthy speech in Cairo said NOTHING about America giving it's Blood, Sweat and Tears for the lives of Muslims around the world ! Afghanistan's Muslims from the Russians. Iraqi Muslims from Saddammo. Kuwaiti's Muslims from Saddammo. Muslims in Somali. Muslims in Bosnia. We fought and died for them and the current President of the United States in a Speech Totally Focused on Speaking to Muslims about how America is Not Their Enemy FAILS to mention any of this.

This ain't good folks.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

My Motorcycle, Wish I still Had it.

1972 BSA Rocket 3. It killed the Honda 4's that were around in those days. Even my brother's friend's Honda 4, which he souped up and couldn't believe he was beaten. It ran dead even with my friends Norton, below.

I rode this thing for 10 years or so back in my studly days. My buddy had a 750 Norton Combat Commando, and we'd prowl all around Pittsburgh, and never did find anything that could beat us. His was metal flake midnight blue.

The exhaust noise was truly exquisite in downtown Pittsburgh blasting through the concrete canyons.

I have a million stories but here's a short one. We were blasting through downtown Pittsburgh one night and ran into this dude on a Honda 4 with straight pipes and souped up pretty good. It was fast. The dude driving it kept looking at my buddy's Norton and saying "I gotta try that thing! Where can we go?". He didn't pay much attention to me since I wasn't making as much noise. We led him down to McKnight road, which is a smaller version of Telegraph road in Detroit. About 7 miles on non-stop business, 6 lane blacktop, 3 per side.

We got to McKnight road and started racing. The BSA and the Norton ran dead even as usual and the Honda was several car lengths back. We ran up the road, turned around and came back. All at 100 mph +. After doing this about 3 times, the cops who were in the Eat N Park couldn't stand it anymore and gave chase.

The dude on the Honda had made mention he was low on gas as we were heading to McKnight Rd. My buddy and I knew the area and detoured off the main drag and got lost on some side streets. The dude on the Honda headed off toward Wexford, and most likely ran out of gas before he ever saw a station.

Lots of nights like this. Loads of fun. True American Grafitti stuff and I sure miss it.

Here's another funny, in a stupid dumbass kinda way

Language Warning- YO!

So, Obama sends the invite out to Iranian diplomats to come to American Embassies and Party on July 4th.
1.) I have to wonder how many Iranian Assholes truly want to celebrate American Independence Day, and

2.) Given that Iran has been sending the Anti-Tank mines into Iraq for the Al Queerda people to use in IED's to blow up and maime thousands of our our Son's and Daughters in Iraq, all I can say is Obama must have shit for brains. As if I don't already know that.

I can't wait to hear how he trashes America in Cairo in a couple days as he tries to 'Heal America's Tarnished Image' with the Ignorant Mass Murdering Islam Fanatic FUCKS who have been killing Americans around the globe for the last 40 Fucking years.

Here's a Funny

Timmy Geithner finds out Chinese students are about 100 times better educated than American kids or even most adults for that matter.


He probably called Obama afterward and warned him that the usual flying unicorn teleprompter Bullshit won't work in China. Or many other foreign countries for that matter where kids are still educated instead of brainwashed.

Hell, the Taliban already called Obama a lunatic after he said he wanted to talk to 'moderate Taliban'. As well they should.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Chapter Two - Death Cheating Maniacs

As it turned out, I never went to kindergarten because they never replaced the bitch of a teacher, and I'm thinking my Mom didn't care for having the hassle, so I partied for another year as a totally irresponsible child.
This next phase gets a bit more interesting. As it turns out, TV Does have an influential effect on kids.
I was now 8 years old and me 'and the boys' would head down about a 1/4 of a mile from my house to the railroad tracks along side the Ohio River, about 7 miles North of Pittsburgh. Two sets of tracks coming in and two sets going out. Four sets total and they were just far enough apart that you could stand in the middle and have one train to your right, and one to your left going in opposite directions, and not be able to stick both arms out without losing them. You'd be stuck there a good while. You could lie down but the other dudes would see you looking under the train and call you a wuss. They looked a lot like this but all 4 tracks were as close together as the two you see on the left.

It was a right of passage to have done this. Most of the trains that came by were 6 to 10 miles long, packed with Automobiles and a myriad of goods going in to town, and stuff like Iron Ore Pellets going out. Here is an actual picture of them.

Man, these things were primo ammunition for our Whammo Slingshots. Mine looked exactly like this one with the surgical tubing for the launch propulsion and the forearm pad that would let you pull that sling back to maximum load.

This ammo was lying all over the train tracks because it would easily spill out of the cars on the way to the steel mills like J&L steel in Aliquippa where my brother worked after he graduated from college. This is an actual picture taken from downtown Aliquippa, PA

I remember he told me the place was 7 miles long and it took him 45 minutes to walk to his work station after he clocked in.

Anyway, we could easily hit a pigeon sitting on the supporting structure of the Ben Avon bridge well over 100 yards away with slingshot and iron pellet. The bridge looked very similar to this one, but it was higher and further away.

This is where we started working on our manhood.

So, anyway, we were 8 and we were chock full of watching cowboy shows and movies on TV where cowboys were hopping trains and running along the tops of the cars and such. We started out a little less ambitious. We would put our heads on the tracks and play chicken. The trains coming out of Pittsburgh were going about 10-15 mph by the time they got to us and when they got within about 1000 feet, two of us would put our heads on the left and right hand track, facing the train of course, and another dude would judge who was the last one to pull their head off. Man-O-man, the conductors in those trains would be lighting up the air horns and their eyes would be as big as dinner plates as they rolled toward us. No way to stop those suckers either from that distance. We all won the competition a few times and then we got bored with it.

We quickly graduated to hopping the trains and running along the top jumping from car to car. I should note it's a lot easier to jump in the opposite direction the train is moving because as you're in the air, the next car is actually coming towards you. Jump in the same direction and that sucker is moving away. We did it both ways, but same direction was hairy. Then you'd have to know when to get off the thing.

A couple miles down the track and the train was now moving more like 20-25 mph. So, you'd climb down the ladder on the side of the freight car and while holding on let your feet start contacting the ground taking these huge strides to try and get ready for letting loose. Then you let loose of the car and you make a few 6 or 8 yard(Feet actually) strides until you can slow down to the point where you stick the landing or roll off into the weeds. It was preferable to stick the landing since you didn't want to be doing a roll anywhere near the train wheels of a moving train. We once decided we'd like to dig a hole big enough to fit in horizontal between two tracks and then lie there as the train went over, but we decided against it as we'd have to cut completely through at least 3 of the railroad ties and figured Nada Gonna Do It. We had some sense of physics even in those days.

So, here we were, like wild Mustangs - or stupid kids, letting it all hang out in an environment that was extremely deadly and dang if I'm not still here. I swear I've used 51 of my 19 lives.

Some things you learn on the tracks are that if you are facing the wind, you cannot hear a freight train coming up behind you until it is way too late. Like 10 feet away going 45 mph. So you never walk on the tracks in the direction the train goes. Even if you're going the usual opposite direction, automated flat cars can come along checking for bad spots in the tracks in the wrong direction. So, stay off the tracks. But it's never safe.

Later in life a friend of mine and I were walking the tracks. We were 18-19 yrs old. It was starting to get dark and we were tired. He was walking in front of me and at one point all I heard was him yelling "Bob - Duck". I did and looked back to see a steel rod hanging out the side of a freight car about 6 feet into the space we were walking in. It would have cut us in half. Life number 27.

You can hear trains coming for many miles away if you put your ear down on the cold steel rail. You'll hear a high pitched whine if there is a moving train on that set of tracks.

Lettin it all hang out !

(To be continued)

WHAT ? WHAT ?!?!?!?

From Obama's speech about the GM Bankruptcy...

Obama also addressed workers at plants and dealerships who will lose their jobs as part of the restructuring, warning that “more jobs would be lost," and adding they were “making a sacrifice for the next generation.”

It’s “a sacrifice you may not have chose to make, but a sacrifice you are nevertheless called to make so that your children and all of our children can grow up in an America that still makes things, that still builds cars, that still strives for a better future,” he said.

So, these folks are supposed to sacrifice the rest of their lives, or assume Obama has cut them loose at the very least, so that their children can have a good future ????

I thought Obama was going to not only Save but Create Jobs. What about these people ? Not even lip service ?

And we're supposed to believe that with a Trillion dollar deficit, that our children are going to have anything besides a wealth and growth stifling tax burden. ?? Add in their kids, and their kids, and their kids. At least.

Hey, Union workers. Is this what you voted for ? Look up Flim Flam man in the dictionary. It will have a picture of Obama at this moment in time telling you to kiss off.

And check the title of The Article
"Obama expresses confidence in GM." It should be titled "Obama kisses off huge numbers of supporting voters in order for the government to have a controlling stake in GM - 60 %".

Unbelievably sad. I'll bet that not even one in 100,000 Obama voters even recognizes what the F* is going on. Because they're watching the Bimbo's on mcnbc telling them how hip their new president is.