Tuesday, March 31, 2020

I'm Really Starting to Believe That They Want us Dead.

"They" being the younger communist/socialist loving indoctrinated morons.  The media and all of social media, the Bernie supporters and assorted other dumbasses.


And Not Too Far Away

Just downtown in our little galaxy.

Click the image of course to read all about it.

Monday, March 30, 2020

In the News

  • President Trump signs executive order requiring all American citizens to purchase AR-15's, semi-automatic shotguns, and pistols with large capacity magazines, all with suppressors.   New buyers can immediately file for reimbursement according to terms in the recently drafted and signed Nana Pelosi sponsored Covid-19 protection act of 2020.
  • Disgraced former FOX news Trump basher, Shep Smith now holed up with recently released Bradly (Chelsea) Manning.  Both expected to be featured on the Ellen Show as "an item" as soon as quarantines are lifted.  Wedding registries are setup at luxury furniture maker IKEA  and Sex Toy distributor True Romance for the couple.  I've already committed to gifting this single set of wonderful set of black knobs which could also be used as butt plugs? - I'm guessing. The 2 pack was the lowest unit of measure I could purchase.  If someone could help me out with half of this gift, it would be appreciated...
  • Wild animals retake towns and villages as residents forced to stay indoors. Animals observed setting up BBQ grills and rubbing paws together while engaging in XXX sexual acts outside residents homes in show of domination not seen since Neanderthal times.  Hairy unwashed guys cheering as their "End is Near" prediction finally coming true.
  • EU Officials declare quarantine procedures will not be enforced among the moslem vermin military aged men asylum seekers and migrants cause it might make them angry.
  • Presidential hopeful Joe Biden Announces immediate cure for Covid-19, a Clean and Safe Power Supply for not only the Earth but the entire universe, the total elimination of the Climate Emergency, Complete removal of STD's and Acne,  free pills to eliminate all belly fat immediately overnight, free everything and in fact, including free lunches and free sex with anyone of any age upon the first day of his taking office.  Teen Vogue magazine Enthusiastically endorses his platform and begins taking in billions of federal aid of which 85% will be donated back to the democrat party for campaign purposes.
  • Joe Biden dodges all questions during town halls by answering all questions with stories about how young female body parts felt and smelled as he caressed and sniffed them during previous town halls he thought he may have attended.  He states that if you don't believe that you can Ask My Wife Joe Biden.  Gets very wispy and teary when remembering fondling the buttocks of one 13 yr old in the red dress during some Senate social event.  Video on youtube of course.
  • Military leadership holed up in previously assumed 100% secure nuclear secure bunkers such as Cheyenne Mountain nervous as reports of infiltration of these bunkers by transgenders who enlisted during the obama administration begin circulating.  Leadership begin nightly panty raids to flesh out the infiltrators. 
  • Media restart the Vietnam war in virtual reality to scare all people of draft age that they will likely be drafted over the next 4 years and sent to their deaths.
  • Donald Trump needs David Blaine on his PR team.
  • Donald Trump backs off Quarantine of New York in favor of recommending vacation travel to the area for all democrat voters.
  • Majority of former sports fans realize that as the sports industry is shut down they actually enjoy their more than ample free time not glued to a TV watching millionaires play with a ball while sportscasters get excited and scream about every boring thing that happens for three hours at a clip.
Maybe some more next week.  Things are happening fast. And loose.

Thursday, March 26, 2020

If Only You Lived to be 4.8 Billion More Years Old

Here is what your night sky would look like.

Heck yea, click the image and read the description.  It's not like it's gonna bite ya.  And click again for a bigify.  Deposit a quarter and get a free horoscope of 4.8 billion years from now courtesy of Dynamo the impossible magician.  Tell em I sent ya.

Wednesday, March 18, 2020

The Future President Joe Biden Meets With Kim Jong Un...

JB: Geee Kim I didn't realize you were so fat.  Hey, no offense Friend. If you'd like to lose some weight just go on the Biden diet.  It's easy, just forget where the food is.  It has worked like a snake charmer for me.  Also, my wife, ... ah whatever her name is, hides everything from me. Including the silverware.  If I'm hungry, I'm usually out in the backyard shooting the shotgun into the air and biting some trees.  When I'm lucky I can catch a squirrel or chipmunk.  They're pretty friendly and will show me where they've hidden a nut or two.

Kim, you wouldn't have any spare nuts would you?  My wife took all the food off of Air Force One before I took off.  I found a personal pan pizza that was probably lunch for the pilots and ate that but it's not much to hold me over.

Kim: Joe, here's some grass that was left over from a miritary celebration parade.  Good stuff.  Enjoy.  If stirr hungly, I have weeds glowing out back.

JB: Kim, can you take me on a tour of the Comfort Women Facilities?  I like the girls really young btw. There's some real foreign aid at stake on this one if ya know what I mean fatso, er I mean friend. Yes Friend.  I can't imagine a Better Friend.  I'm rearry (I mean Really) sorry for how Donna Trump treated you when he came here - with his beautiful wife and big nuts.

Kim: Joe I understand your parents were kangaroos is that right? Or was it a kangaroo and llama love affair  as others in my intel community have suggested ?

JB: Yes Kim, No - both kangaroos. It is why my nickname was Hipitty Hop when I was a young fellow that the other kids loved feeling my hairy legs back then too.  When I wasn't hopping up and down anyway, elsewise they just looked at my handsome bod and no doubt fantasized about caressing it.

Kim:  Don't you think it is unfair that Amerlica has so many weapons and I don't have practicarry any?

JB: Now look Kim. Yes, it is. I've been saying for years now that two skips and a jump can make a chicken pot pie. I'll tell you what man, all those nuclear missiles we have scare me.  Scares the pants right off me.  Scares the crap out of me!  Can I send a bunch to you?

Kim: Of clourse.

JB: Ok man, I'll get those to you soon along with the launch codes.  Dang those things scare me.
JB: Now Kim you don't seem to have problems with racism, white privlege,  transphobia, climate emergencies, white nationalism, male toxicity, feminism, idiotic protests, etc Why is that Kim?

Kim: Well,it beclause we're not fleakin morons Joe. And we shoot anyone who acts like a fleakin moron. No more fleakin moron.

JB: Ah, Got Ya. I mean, not personally or anything. Like no offense eh.  Now, do you need some money? I mean we have money that just self-creates itself.  A hundred quadrillion billion million at bed time and when we wake up tomorrow it'll be 300 quadrillion billion million. It's like magic. Let me know what you need. I'll send my wife over.  Maybe my sister.  Well, it'll be somebody in a dress and wearing women's undies.  Might have a beard but just ignore that.

Kim: My people will be in touch with your idiots, er i mean people.  Prease come back soon.  Prenty of grass here for eating.

JB: Ok Friend.  Good First Meeting. Or date, or whatever it was we did here in New South Sales, Cambodia.

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Heck Of a Tune.

In The News

Dude goes to the bathroom but leaves his mic on.

Man testing positive for Coronavirus relieved he can touch his face again.

US Airline pilots to work from home.

Nothing like a lazy dog on a lazy day.

Apple re-opening its stores in China. Canary. Coal Mine. Maybe good news.

Why can't Supreme Court Work From Home??  Seriously.

Well, worried about kids intelligence levels?  No need as they are licking toilet seats now.

Biden says illegal alien felons Safe from Deportation.

Pretty Cool for us handymen.

In other news:

Biden promises to kill all middle class working people to stop  spread of corona virus. Kids cheer.

Sanders promises to kill all rich people in the most agonizing way possible.  Kids cheer.

AOC and Greta happy that corona virus is killing off CO2 generators. Kids cheer.

Supreme Court and Democrat House discussing whether Ruth Buzzi Ginsberg can make rulings from grave.

Congress disallows closure of strip clubs to curb corona virus, directs fed to print more 1 dollar bills.

Surprising number of people buying tickets to SpaceX's flight to "Earthlike Planets".

Dolphins observing humans up close all scream "Holy Crap" in unison.

Cockroaches declare "We'll be here long after theses idiots are gone".

Madonna marries Brad Pitt, murders Jen, gets probation, divorces Brad, marries Sarah Jessica Parker.  Fans worried relationship may not last.

Supermarkets now overstocked, laying off stockers and cashiers.

Huge stock market rally followed by huge stock market sell off followed by huge stock market rally.

Avoid toenail fungus using this one weird trick.

 Avoid weird tricks.

Have a nice day.

Saturday, March 14, 2020

All Kinds of Stuff

Click the darn image.  Explore.


What would you add ?     

Friday, March 13, 2020

News and Other Stuff

After attempting and failing to commit suicide, Bradley (aka:Chelsea) Manning has joined Joe Biden's campaign as the LGBTQ liaison officer in charge of wooing Pete Buttcrack's voting block to the Dementia candidate as well as the LGBTQ Trans community members. 

Bradley's campaign  message is "For Pete's (or Patty's) sake don't commit suicide before you vote on Nov 3, 2020 !  We need you.  (Ok, how many of you lovely people over the age of 50 saw that coming when you were living and thought most of the outside world was normal?)

Democrat house writes bill requiring all Republicans to be forcibly injected with the Corona Virus in order to test placebo vaccine

China threatens to put Corona Virus into all medications it sends to the USA.  In addition, it will carpet bomb the USA with fleas infected with Bubonic plague and other plagues. Democrats cheer

Adam Schiff attempts to rape Melania Trump - She knocks him out cold with a spare pair of undies

Democrats complain about non-Corona virus stuff in Corona virus response bill, like Payroll Tax Cuts, while padding it with things like Abortion Funding, Mandatory Taxpayer Funded Gender Reassignment Surgery, and Jail Time for parents who resist having their children receive gender reassignment surgery down to the age of 3

Unable to control themselves, Nana Pelosi and Chuck Schumer have sex on the congressional floor of the capitol building. GOP members vomit and run out of the building en mass. Chuck screams "We did it !"

Joe Biden vows to ban Knives, Rocks, and Sharp Sticks all across America - Vows to write Executive Order on day 1 for All of America to "Hey Man - Play Nice".  Writes 2nd executive order declaring dementia as a National Emergency.

President Donald J Trump makes Nancy Pelosi tear up and eat every scrap of her bill to protect Iran from US military action on Live TV. Americans give standing ovation and call for more such actions

Mexican Cartels now smuggling toilet paper, hand sanitizer, canned goods, baby wipes, and thermometers across the border

American government devastated by Corona Virus replaced by Americans vowing to govern For the People. AOC obtains illegal AR-15 and illegal capacity magazines - busts in and mows them all down.

100% of Scientists agree the best thing for the Earth is a planet destroying asteroid - draw up plans for selecting one or more of them from the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter and directing them to the Earth.

Pornhub offers free premium service to everyone who can prove they voted for Bernie.

USA returns to moon. Astronauts declare "Yea, still a big rock covered in moon dust".

Latest: All children in the USA to receive gender reassignment surgery.  No exceptions.

Apparently he was serious because David Blaine did get the F out of his house.

AOC admits to being a trans gendered Justin Bieber, gets major support from millenials and Gen-Zers.

Mr Blade goes on cruise, discovers cure for Coronavirus.  Gives it to world for free.  Democrats Pissed.  China too.
Watch your back DaBlade. 

Saturday, March 7, 2020

OK Adrienne ! Tell Us How This One Was Done.

I'll make an exception on this one.  (Rewind to zero if required)

We Haven't Looked Up For A While

So here are a couple and some music to go with.  Of course, you have my permission to click on those images and read all about em.

To go with this last image "Slow Dance", here is a little tune suitable for slow dancing with your loved one, or even your dog, cat, hedgehog, or pangolin.

Friday, March 6, 2020

More Sleight Of Hand

Personally, I would not have had any idea how this was done any more than the one in the last post, but P&T has this one figured.  Enjoy.

Wednesday, March 4, 2020

Public Service Announcement

Covid 19 Medical Updates: Scientists Announce Two Strains and a Higher Death Rate


Short article but here are some bullet points anywho.

  • The strains have been named Covid 19 L and Covid 19 S.

  • Covid 19 L is the most aggressive and deadly strain, but appears to be burning itself out. Typically, aggressive viruses burn out quickly, in part because the seriousness of the illness forces people into hospitals or self-quarntine.

  • The World Health Organization (WHO) has announced that the Covid 19 death rate is 3.4% globally, which is higher than previous estimates of less than 2%. By comparison, the death rate from seasonal flu is typically around 0.1%.