Tuesday, September 29, 2020

The Trump - Biden Debate Transcript 3 Hours Early

Demonic Beady Eyed Democrat Tool Chris Wallace: "Welcome Everyone to what is promising to be very robust and informative debate between Former Vice-President Joseph Biden, acclaimed recipient of America's Medal of Freedom award and likely future savior of our planet, versus serial tax evader and womanizer - the incumbent President Donald Trump."

Sleepy Joe (SJ)  Joe Biden is here? Does his wife know ? He sure is a handsome devil.  Boy this outta be interesting.

CW: Chuckling "Alright Mr Biden, stop cutting up.  It was very funny but we're going to have a serious debate tonight and the future of the world might depends (er I mean Depend) on the outcome.  Sorry, because of your humor, I happened to think of Jerry Nadler there for a second.  Please excuse me.  Mr Biden the first question to you - How do you feel about Mr Trump paying little to no income taxes in years where he paid little to no income taxes."

SJ: I'm glad you ask Chris. Look, we all know that Donald Trump is a trillionaire on the backs of young girls working around the world for literally pennies a day and sometimes pennies per week or month building hotels and casinos. These young girls can barely afford a ripped and torn sheet to wrap themselves in and .. [Joe gets a far away look in his eye for a second while some drool collects on his upper lip area..], and this man doesn't even pay his taxes.  It's despicable !  Joe forcefully exclaims as some drool flies off his lips reminiscent of Sylvester The Cat cartoons of days gone by.

CW: "Mr Trump, how do you respond to Mr Biden's claims that you sexually abuse young women around the world and then confiscate and walk off with the meager wages you've paid them."

DJT:  My great friend Mr Biden is correct that women in developing countries are being massively abused but he has me confused with his son Hunter.  His coke head son runs all over the world to places like China, yes CHI NA, assaulting young women, getting them pregnant then telling them he is flat broke and can't give them any money.  Mr Biden would be assaulting them also, but frankly someone replaced his cane with a small wet Chinese noodle if you know what I mean.  His pointer can no longer alert the hunters to the flying ducks shall we say.

As far as paying taxes, as Michael Corleone told the Senator in the movie The Godfather "Senator, you will not only waive my casino application fee but you will also pay the construction costs".  I've used the same method with the female Democrat Senators and they have been paying all of my taxes for years.  There is a reason Diane Feinstein and most of the other female Democrat politicians look like they have TSTS (terminal sexual tension syndrome).  This I will tell you.    This is why they want me out of office.

In fact, when the severely math challenged freshman Congressman - Alexandria Ocleavageness-Cortez heard of this she wrote to me telling me she wanted to pay part of my tax bill also.  She loves the idea.  Can you believe it?  I told her for every dollar she contributes, the water temperature at the North Pole will go down by one degree Celsius per week during Winter.  She was ecstatic.  She is a halfwit, what can I tell you.  Additionally, Hank Johnson is much more relaxed knowing icebergs are no longer capsizing along the frozen tundras.  And he's a genius compared to Alexandria.

CW:  "I have to stop you there Mr Trump.  Your rebuttal PLEASE Mr Biden !"

SJ: I have a son?  Jill.  Jill? Are you here?  We have a son?  Can we try for a daughter?  Now look folks, see I told you Donald Trump has No Facts.  He is a quivering orange mass of No Facts.  If I did have a son, it would be Kamala Harris.  In the time I've known her, I find I respect her Satanic activities even more than I ever did the Clintons.  I mean, this lovely woman has kept innocent people in Jail. Denying them an appeal of the false DNA results used against them. You have to love that.  Imagine how she'll be able to keep the teachers unions and lawyer groups raping the country like a herd of gorilla in a herd of beautiful swans.  They'll keep the feathers flying folks.  Between that and my 100 trillion in new taxes plan we will get this country back on track in nothing flat.  And that's no Malarkey.  You can take that to the No Malarkey bank and start a small Christmas club for the young girls who are there.  Jill, can we go to the bank after the debate?

CW: "Mr Trump you have 5 minutes unless I decide to cut you off for making absurd claims about this fine man campaigning for the office of the President again."

DJT:   Thank you Chris.   Folks is it not obvious that my friend Mr Biden is pumped up with drugs and hormones.  Weird hormones.  Sick hormones. Hormones that scare other hormones.
There is no way we can tax 100 trillion dollars.  No one even knows what 100 trillion dollars is.  It would probably take billions of years just to count 100 trillion dollars.  This I will tell you.  I've tried it when filling out my tax forms. Believe me.  You can't do it.  That's why my taxes can't be calculated.  It can't be done.  I have the finest CPA's in the business and they all tell me it can't be done.  Believe me.  Melania even tried to help.  The people at the IRS just cry when my tax forms arrive.  They hide them and forget they even exist.

CW: "Mr Biden, your rebuttal Please !"

SJ:  Thank you Chris.  In closing let me reiterate that the waves slosh over the ocean, the waves skip over the sea and the wheels on the bus go round and round.  The squirrels are very cute this time of year.  Their fur reminds me of what the young Chinese children say about my legs in the pool.  Once again, I'll be casting my vote for Donald J Trump on November 3rd, and Hey, someone screwed with my teleprompter again.  Darn it man !   That's it.  How am I supposed to debate like this !?  Jill, take me home Honey before someone gets the stuffing knocked out of them.

DJ Trump once again covering his mouth while silently laughing hysterically at Sleepy Joe's predicament. 

CW: "Well folks, here's another debate gone astray.  Until next time, I'm your host Chris Wallace and this has been Debating with the Stars. No, that's not right, see they've even got me screwed up.  Have a great night folks and we'll see you next time.  The next debate will be at 7 am EDT at the VFW hall in Aliquippa Pennsylvania.  Wait that can't be right.  Who is messing with my teleprompter....."  (fade to commercial.)

Image of VFW hall at 144 Bunker Hill Rd, Aliquippa, PA

Tuesday, September 22, 2020

The Trump-Biden Debates Begin.

Beady Eyed Democrat Tool Chris Wallace: "Welcome to the 1st of 319 debates between our incumbent president Donald J Trump and Presidential hopeful - Joe "Huckleberry" Biden.  Let's start things off with a question for Mr Trump."

Joe nervously whispering to himself "319?? Wow, that's.. that's... that's higher than anyone can count..."

CW: "Mr Trump, how do you respond to accusations that you destroyed the economy by ignoring the Covid-19 Pandemic."

DJT: Well, that's nonsense.  In fact, Sleepy Joe actually has plans to infect little girls with the virus by rubbing it all over their bodies while sniffing them, then he's going to send them into every nursing home in the country pretending to be the grandchildren of inmates at these facilities to infect them and kill them.  This is his plan for social security - kill all the older people.  When he's finished that he'll start on the middle aged, then the Millennials, then the Gen Zrs.  The only ones he will keep alive will be young girls below the age of 14.  He'll have them shipped to the White House, stripped of their clothing, and packed into every room until the place looks like the inside of a sardine can, then he will...

CW: "Ok, Mr Trump, I think we get the picture, let's give Mr Biden a chance to respond."

SJ:  Folks, Folks.. I've never touched a girl over the age of 12.  In fact I would have stopped this virus in its tracks by inviting Chinese men and women of all denominations from the Wuhan area of China to come to the United States to prove they don't have the virus.  They could feel my leg hairs all day long if they want.  I will of course be wearing a mask to protect those young girls sitting over there in the audience.  Girls, stand up and come on over here for a minute.... Ah, that's better...  What's your name honey?

CW: "Mr Biden, please tell us what you will do to combat this climate crisis."

SJ:  Wait girls, don't run off... ah well. Now look, we've got a 15 point plan to nip this climate catastrophe right in the shorts. First, I'm going to take it out in back of the gym and knock the stuffing out of it.  Then I'll be placing our party's climate genius -Alexandria Ocleaveous-Cortez in charge of all the details of our Green New Green Jeans Deal and I'm going to make America pay for it with 100 trillion in new taxes.  Simple.

If my opponent is allowed to remain in office - get ready folks.  Climate change, in just a matter of days, will create hurricanes and tornadoes that will plague every city in America every day, all day.  Women's clothes will be ripped off their male and female bodies from the constant high winds just like they were attacked by herds of rabid alligators and chipmunks.   Well, that part is Ok I guess, but then every city in America will be consumed by the same type of wild fires happening right now all over the globe in California and they'll be turned to ash !  The high winds will blow the ashes of these cities out to sea never to be seen again. Folks, we'll all be Killed !  Well, most of you anyway. You old guys and most of you other guys.  Girls, come back up here again, I've got some candy to give out.

CW: "Mr Trump, your rebuttal please."

DJT:  Joe you ignorant pedophile slut.  Climate Change doesn't exist.  It was manufactured by your pals over in China along with the mostly fake virus to damage our great nation that I Have Made Great Again by not even trying hard.  It was simple. This I will tell you. Believe me. Believe me.  To my fellow Americans I say that if you elect Sleepy Joe, the demented pedophile sociopath career politician, China will OWN America.  China and Iran.  Russia too.  And Iran.  China will come in here with their chopsticks and slice us up into little square pieces and feed us to the dogs.  After we're gone, they'll eat the dogs.  And the nice kitties and all the rest of the animals too. And..

CW: "Your time is up Mr Trump.  Ok, Another question for Mr Biden.  Mr Biden, how are you going to get this economy back to where it was, the greatest ever, at the point you and Barack Obama left office."

SJ:  Well, I think the correct answer is C, but I'd like to use one of my lifelines and phone a friend. (Calls B Obama... Ring..... ring..... ring.... ring.....Obama sitting by phone naked and laughing like he's being tickled again by his pal Richard Branson... ) I guess Ba, bar, .... my old boss isn't home right now.  Ok, I'm going to go with answer C.

CW: "I'm afraid there is no answer C Mr Biden, that's a different program. I'm going to have to go to Mr Trump now for a rebuttal."

DJT: To fix the economy from the current attack of the mostly fake virus and from the democrat run House that sits around guzzling booze and watching porn instead of working for America, I'm going to lower taxes yet again. Lowest they've ever been since they were created.  Then I'm going to cancel every other agreement that was made with our (air quotes) Allies by the evil democrats that have done nothing but punish America and the American taxpayer.  I'm going to tell all those scum sucking socialist and communist pigs that it is time for them to carry their end of the log.  If they can't do it then to hell with them.  Let them suffer in anguish for eternity for all I care.  That's right Sleepy Joe - China will be stopping payment on those checks they sent you and your cokehead deadbeat son Hunter.

CW: "Mr Biden, you have 5 minutes for a rebuttal."

DJT:  Well that'll be about 4 minutes and 55 seconds too long......

SJ: Waves flow over the ocean,  waves flow over the sea, I wish those girls would come back up here and rub themselves all over me.  (Joe looking very confused but continues)  ... I don't know about you folks, but I'm voting for Donald Trump in November.  Come On Man who screwed up my teleprompter ?!   Jill, can you start bringing those young girls home from grade school again like you used to ?  Jill, where are ya honey ? 

DJT: (Hand over mouth laughing like a hyena.)

CW:  "It looks like this debate has come to a close.  Join us again tomorrow evening for debate number 2.  Good Night Folks and thanks for tuning in."

Thursday, September 17, 2020

10 Fingers, 6 Strings


Well, it is possible Paul Yandell played a couple Bass notes if you can hear them, otherwise all Chet.

Chet recorded a few versions of this starting around the 1950's.

Hope ya like it. 

Monday, September 14, 2020

I'd Really Like to Put Out a Funny, But

 the current environment is too absurd and has created a mental block that even AOC couldn't get open with a prehistoric garbage disposal that was painted pink.   The dems, celebrities, and others in visible light or audio should you turn on a radio or TV, are in competition to see who can be more evil, ugly, and stupid.  Who can top that?


So, here is another butterfly to enjoy with coffee and a toffee  and brown sugar / walnut coffee cake with lots of butter.

  Explanation: Are stars better appreciated for their art after they die? Actually, stars usually create their most artistic displays as they die.

 Click the image for the full description if you dare.