Monday, April 27, 2020


Enjoy or not


Chet Atkins !

The News Never Stops Comin At Ya

Who will replace Kim Jong Un?  Speculation that it will be some bigger POS.

Nana Pelosi applies to be porn actress. No One interested.  Not even in 3rd world countries.  Nausea now declared bigger problem than corona virus around the globe.

Three females being considered for Biden VP choice, All Chinese with very fragrant hair! - Ho Lee Fuk,  Some Ting Wong, and Bang Ding Ow.  Congress dismissing rules requiring natural citizens for these government positions.  China probably greasing some palms - lots of em.

Progressives calling for Joe Biden to drop out of race over sexual assault charges.  Want candidate with more solid and confirmed sexual assault evidence as well as more serious sexual charges.

Governor Cuomo pressuring mayor DeBlasio to get piercings on all sexually related body parts. And tattoos, don't forget the tattoos.

Facebook adds new suicide feature.  Just click.  Extra pain available for added shipping and handling fee.  Stock price jumps.  Twitter management in emergency meetings to counter suicide strategy.

Media members required to wear shock collars around neck and in crotch area during White House press briefings until further notice.  When one of the pukes attacks the President they all get the juice.  Like a Marine barracks blanket party.  Take That !

Cats have had enough of this crap - sharpening claws on tree bark, carpeting, and furniture in preparation for swamp draining and world domination.

Nana Pelosi endorses Joe Biden amid sexual assault claims.  In statement to press she testifies that Joe sexually assaulted her many times and she always enjoyed the hell out of it, says accusers are just in it for the money or are drunken lesbians.

First Graders required to demonstrate sexual performance techniques in front of class.  Teachers state "Don't worry, everyone will get a chance."

Chris Wallace in odd 5 minute moment on FOX TV segment declares "Look at my beady Eyes!  Look at em!"  over and over and over.  Wins pulitzer prize.

California bans all activity.  Marjorie Dorisin  fined $1,000 for waking up, created youtube video about this.  Fined another $10,000 for making youtube video.  Gavin Newsom splitting sides laughing. Fines himself 50 cents.

SpaceX's latest Starship actually Not a Strarship - Can't fly to another star.  Not Happenin.  Gen-Zers scream at sky upon revelation.

"Protests" determined by experts to be Colossal waste of time and energy.  Hey go clean up some litter instead you idiots they write!

Andy Cuomo blames wild sex orgies at nursing homes as reason for Covid-19 case escalation.

Daffy Duck and Sylvester the Cat banned from public spaces for history of spraying saliva into the areas they travel.  Tweety Bird still free to travel.

(blogger such a piece of crap...)

Sunday, April 26, 2020

News Packed Sunday !

Mother of Joe Biden sex assault accuser Tara Reade admits to paying Joe Biden for kinky sex romps in 1992.

California launches restaurant delivery services for seniors.  Guarantees COVID-19 will be included with each order.

With dumbasses drinking bleach, gene pool finally getting cleaned up.

Male business leaders using botox and youth inducing treatments in order to seduce younger secretaries.

New Naval Super Stealth Weapon Ship invisible, impossible to see or locate, costing hundreds of billions per ship per day.

Trump and Putin in joint operation to open Swanky Bordello near Mar-A-Lago resort in Florida.

President Trump Gives the bird to reporters as he leaves latest corona virus briefing without taking any questions.

Countries of Russia and China just figments of imagination of those on the left. Used only for fake news to damage Trump administration.

Media claims Donald Trump's mother wears Army shoes.

Democrat operatives spraying beach sand with corona virus in wee hours.

AOC voted out of office but continues to show up wondering why she is no longer getting a paycheck and also who has stolen her red slimline stapler like that mumbly guy in the movie Office Space.  Not happy about her desk now in the basement either.

Someone tell AOC that the Postal Service is losing billions of dollars a year by being paid to deliver junk mail made from valuable trees - that people throw away and clog up land fills with.

Rumors of Kim Jong Un's ill health greatly distorted to mask the transgender surgery he is going through.  Project Veritas discovers Kim is pen pals with Bradly Manning.

Republicans Scream how Democrats will Pay A Heavy Price for all the crimes they've committed the last 137 years.  Heavy Price.

Saturday, April 25, 2020

OK, A Little News...

N. Korea Leader Kim Jong Un reportedly metamorphizing into beautiful butterfly from coronavirus according to

Project Veritas discovers video evidence that Joe Biden is actually ISIS operative though he is not trusted to operate suicide belt activation button -  deployed with cell phone with unknown number.  Could go off at any time based on scammer calls.
Folks, the Real News is just too absurd to apply my spin to.  Honestly.  Just direct your browser to

- Over and Out.

I Like Interstellar Gas

Heck yea, click the image or be put in jail by some democrat governor.

Friday, April 24, 2020

Well, Slow News Day

Millions dying from bleach + ammonia drink challenge.  (Now we're getting somewhere).

Brassieres declared Major health risk.

John Durham found tossing 1 dollar bills of taxpayer money at nearly naked women in Baltimore strip club.

Harvard Professor demands all Republicans commit suicide.

Oklahoma Governor declares only strip clubs and whore houses as essential businesses.  Michigan governor Gretchen approves of measure.

WalMart to implement one way aisles.  Plan backfires. Customers slamming into each other walking in wrong direction.

Yale Professor states "Trump is using subconscious techniques to murder all non-Trump supporters".

University Professors and students disallowed from covering mouths when sneezing or coughing. $100 fine per occurrence.

Joe Biden not sure which country he is running for election in.  Mounts election challenge against Vladimir Putin and Ho Chi Minh.
AOC coming up with new gourmet recipe for boiling water.

Birds, reptiles, and insects splitting their sides laughing at antics of humans.
I Got Blisters On My Fingers !
Where Am I !?!

Thursday, April 23, 2020

News !

300 million Americans file for unemployment benefits.  Government suspects fraud.

Federal judge's order for everyone to only go out in public naked declared as overreach.  Trump asks for swift Supreme Court review.

New York Times reports that the New York Times is a worthless fake news rag and should be avoided at all costs.

Las Vegas Casinos claim they are 100% sterile. Problem is no one can see through fog of disinfecting sprays.

With forced "mail in" ballot voting for primaries, only 3 people have voted across the country.

With many restaurants out of business, China is forcing them to sell so they can take over food industry in US. 

Chinese Brides now selling for Zero dollars.  Chinese brides expected to be major infiltrator force to take over US Government.

President Donald Trump Orders Naval Airstrike on U.N. Building - instructs to make it look like Iranian swift boat attack.

Iranian Leaders: Entire galaxy will be destroyed if US Warships screw with us.  Whatever.

AOC unsatisfied with Instagram "like" totals for Spaghettio deviled Eggs recipe.  Planning toast and scrambled eggs recipe for next video.

Bradley Manning suing US Army for turning him into transgender Frankenstein.

Sex Toy businesses Off The Charts with worldwide quarantines.

Democrats buying Billions of pre-filled out democrat "vote by mail ballots" from China.

As crude oil piles up, Joe Biden declares Gulf Ocean water surface best place for storage.

As quarantine environment Food Delivery wars intensify, gangs of nude and partially nude women compete for delivery services.
Many cat fights recorded on Ring doorbell videos, posted on social media.

Joe Biden claims that with new Sopwith Camel aircraft, the USA is invincible.

Stocks set to Rally for God Knows Why.

Tuesday, April 21, 2020

Geeeezix, More News

Real one.. President Trump announced late Monday he will soon sign an executive order "to temporarily suspend immigration into the United States," in what appeared to be a drastic escalation of his efforts to fight the coronavirus pandemic and boost the economy.The declaration came hours after U.S. equity markets plunged, with oil prices turning negative for the first time in history. Also on Monday, three states -- Georgia, Tennessee, and South Carolina -- revealed plans to begin reopening some businesses."In light of the attack from the Invisible Enemy, as well as the need to protect the jobs of our GREAT American Citizens, I will be signing an Executive Order to temporarily suspend immigration into the United States!" the president tweeted.
USA and China schedule game of Chinese Checkers for "All the marbles"  Entire world on the edge of their seats. DJ Trump makes first move. Half of world passes out from sexual tension. Nana Pelosi gorges on ice cream and begs for sexual partners on Tinder and Grinder offering free ice cream for favors.  No takers so far.
Thousands committing suicide over Taylor Swift's decision to cancel concerts for at least a year - or more.
Adam Schiff becomes porn actor for Pornhub. Fired after 2 days of disappointing performances.
Cher opens new University named "Screw Trump" - Bobby DiNero donates life savings to the new University and declares "I will not shower until Trump is voted out of office!"  Ex-wife says "Yea, That's Bobby..."
Sean Hannity discovered to be the Anti-Christ.
Federal Government instructs more employees to return to offices and resume watching porn on government network computers instead of masturbating at home.
AOC makes home video showing how to make deviled eggs with spaghettios instead of normal filling (h/t Woodsterman)
Texas now paying for patrons to take oil and be paid hundreds of dollars per barrel. Iran too suspicious to participate in scheme.
Kim Jong Un claims N Korea as Virus Free! while on ventilator in ICU.
Cats declared Virus Free and best defense against COVID-19.  Lots of petting required.
Good time to fill the Petroleum Strategic Reserve, (Which will last  3 days if we ever need it)
Dolly Parton claims she has never seen her shoes - pays $20 per day for shoe inspector.
Mustang admits to being Russian spy, claims Russian women too insane and beautiful.  Well, some of us are drawn to the ether my friend.  No hard feelings.
Experts say we are all living in "The Matrix" - advise against taking the red pill.

Monday, April 20, 2020

Lastest News !

Donald Trump in secret meeting with special operators in regard to Chris Wallace puts a cotton roll in each cheek and tells them "Make that beady eyed son of a bitch an offer he can't refuse".

Project Veritas uncovers evidence that Joe Biden has sent multiple emails to RealDonaldTrump begging to feel his leg hairs.

Oh My.., Gabby Giffords kills 87 students in school for gifted children with AR-15...  Federal Judge refuses to bring charges - Cites brain damage caused by another Democrat that shot her in the head in Tucson, Az.

Elizabeth Warren pathetically panders to become Joe Biden's running mate claiming she will get under Oval Office conference table and feel his leg hairs at every single staff meeting if he accepts her.

West Texas Crude Price Turns Negative (Real One)     This means they are paying you to take their oil.  Gas stations all over begging people to come and fill up not only for free but receive a rebate as well.

Bradley Manning suicidal once again after not being able to find someone to date in NYC.  Falsely blames lock down in typical denial excuse used by most transgenders.

FBI, CIA, NSA, and all other intel communities confess to being in cahoots with Russians.  In their defense, they claim Russian women are irresistible.  Even to other women.  Whatever.

Facebook declares "We are going to force audio and video listening devices into your homes to record everything you say and do and there ain't shit you can do about it.  Plus you will pay a monthly subscription fee for the privilege."  Expect to see yourselves all over Pornhub real soon.  Millennials Cheer !

Pelosi admits she really pays $87 a pint for ice cream.  Laughs like wicked witch of West knowing stupid dipshits will vote her back in again.

Mitt Romney declares on national TV that Donald Trump and Republican party must DIE.  Secret Service planning to visit the Utah Senator for an interview.

Jim Acosta begs Michelle Obama to let him masturbate in front of her/him/whatever.

George Bush secretly painting a Barack Obama nude piece that was commissioned by Joe Biden.

America re-opens May 1st but no restaurants are still in business.  Chinese Italian Mexicans very depressed.
This is what I'm reading anyways.  Until we meet again.

Lots of Eye Candy In This One

Running Chicken, click the image

Sunday, April 19, 2020

Kind of a Nice Little Perspective Video

Now estimated that there are 10 trillion galaxies in our universe.

A million seconds is 2 days, a trillion seconds is 32,678 years.

Saturday, April 18, 2020

The News Just Keeps Eeeking Out.

Democrat Governors ban ALL Monogamous Sexual Activity over COVID-19 until further notice. Monogamy also declared permanently illegal in their state.  Only polygamous and homosexual relations allowed.  Moslems excluded from ban.

GM Slammed for badly timed retro "See the USA in your Chevrolet" marketing campaign during quarantine.  Also slammed for their absurd 'find new roads' idiotic marketing phrase.

Joe Biden explaining COVID-19 at recent virtual town hall as "Hey, this is like Aliens 5" and explains how threat can be mitigated by older men exposing their leg hair and groping young girls as they stroke the hairs.  It is unclear how that will be helpful.  
Media says "Well, that's just old Joe".

All of Joe Biden's potential VP picks accused of sexual assaults.  Well, it's not like any of them will get it for free!

Antifa terrorists threaten Americans with pulling hair, yelling, screaming, and throwing milkshakes at them.

Joe Biden claims pandemic will fix climate change 'problem' (pretty close to true story)

"I crawled into bed with Don Lemon and we cried like babies".  Brian Stelter laments pandemic life in newsletter to his 6 followers...

Class action University lawsuit wins 30 billion dollars after proving leftist indoctrination, vast majority of students donate money to 2020 Democrat election campaigns.

Google Home and Amazon Alexa listening devices now speaking to sleeping owners in order to get them to subliminally vote democrat in November.

House passes bill to give all of America to China for forgiveness of debt.

Joe Biden declares he identifies as not only 5 different races, but also 8 different genders.  Jill Biden confirms with "Ya, That's Joe" statement to press on Morning Joe program with Joe Scarborough and Mika the Communist agent.

China to test new Aircraft Carrier that won't catch fire.

Joe Satriani has new album out titled Shape shifting.  Pretty good imo.

Kitty Kat play biting me more now that we're holed up in the house all day. Fluffy little beast.

ABC's David Muir admits under waterboarding torture sessions that the show is total bullshit and only meant to be a Trump hit piece.

New bill gives tax credits for those who make Male Emperor Penguins in Antarctica more comfortable during the winter months while their female mates frolic in the ocean engorging themselves in order to feed their young chicks upon return. LGBT Groups enraged.

CDC declares that biological men cannot actually get pregnant or have the slightest use for tampons.  Democrats up in arms in opposition and widely featured on cable news programs defending they are opposing positions on the subject.  Sanjay Gupta weighs in with a report that is frankly too long to include in this post.  President Trump widely criticized for ignoring this issue.  Proctor and Gamble thrilled dumbass Democrat men think they need tampons.  Stock price surges.

Friday, April 17, 2020

Nuther Slow News Day

Mid-April 2020 perfect time to restart the Cannonball run.  New records set with roads empty and all vehicles declaring they are infected with COVID-19 to keep cops at bay.  Plus gas is cheap.

George Carlin may have been right.  The Earth wanted plastic for itself, didn't know how to make it, needed us.  May answer that age old question - Why are we here?  Plastic.  Our job may be done now... Well at least we saved the bees.

New evidence suggests the Steele Dossier was bogus, even though all of us knew it was bogus 4 effing years ago.

Jill Biden making hilarious videos of Joe speaking to sell for extra income in retirement years.

A bit long of a read.

Pelosi and Shumer place bet on who hates America more. 

China now claims zero deaths from Coronavirus.  Russia vouches for them.

DeBlasio to cut 2 Billion in city services and redirect money to wife's offshore bank account.

Hosts of The View declare anything and everything pro-America is racist.

Stocks rise, fall, and remain unchanged today.  China to blame.

Democrat governors issue stay at home order for all registered Republicans on election day.

In latest town hall, Joe Biden drops trou and inquires if 'there are any young people who would like to feel his leg hairs'.

Well, nuther slow news day..

Monday, April 13, 2020

Those Cold Lifeless Biden Eyes

h/t DaBlade

The following was submitted by a still terrorized Katarina (last name and location withheld by request) while testifying about an encounter with Joe Biden in her day care session in 1992. Chilling.

Katarina testifies....

Didn’t see Biden for about half an hour after we got to day care.– dark suit – stupid looking smile. You know how you know that when you’re in trouble, Chief? You tell by lookin’ from the Floorsheim shoe to the top of the balding head. 

What we didn’t know was our sex ed class mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn’t even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, Biden comes cruisin’. So we formed ourselves into tight groups…the idea was, Biden comes to the nearest little girl and we start poundin’ and hollerin’ and screamin’. Sometimes Biden go away. Sometimes he wouldn’t go away. Sometimes Biden, he looks right into ya, right into your eyes. Y’know, the thing about a Biden, he’s got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes. When he comes after ya, he doesn’t seem to be livin’ until he squeezes ya, and those black eyes roll over white, and then – aww, then you hear that terrible high-pitch screamin’, the other girls scream in horror and in spite of all the poundin’ and the hollerin’, Biden just smiles that much more…in that first dawn, we had a hundred little girls assaulted. 

I don’t know how many times he grabbed us, maybe a thousand. I don’t know how many. He averaged six hundred an hour…Noon the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us. He swung in low and he saw us…and he come in low and three hours later, a big fat PBY [seaplane] comes down and started to pick us up. You know, that was the time I was most frightened – waitin’ for my turn. I’ll never put on a day care jacket again. Chain mail from now on. 
So, 4 hundred girls went into the day care, three girls came out unmolested and Biden molested the rest, June the 29th, 1900 and 92. Anyway, we're still here to tell about it..


Who Knew ?

Click the image.

Sunday, April 12, 2020


Knuckledraggin's New Location

For any interested.

At Least 11 Trillion Earths Would Fit Within the Confines of the Horsehead Nebula

Only the last image is linked to the APOD site for the description.

Little Bit of News

Abortions now count as Cornavirus deaths.

Apple, Google, Tweeter, and Facecrap have developed way to infect you with COVID-19 through your smartphone.

All deaths now count as Coronovirus deaths.

All Fraudulent votes in November will count as Coronovirus deaths.

Donald Trump Jr should shave. Thoughts?

Joe Biden tells us that at least 475 million Americans have died from Coronavirus at nursing homes.  Puts blame squarely on Donald Trump's shoulders.  Vows if elected president he will travel back in time and kick Donald Trump's ass behind the gymnasium on some warm summer day.

Jodi Arias temporarily  released from jail, fatally stabs entire church full of patrons to death who refuse to date her.  Bill DeBlasio signs off on no bail required. Arias released into general population of Long Island residents.  Residents vow to vote Democrat in next election.

AOC claims drag queens are the answer to all of America's problems.

With rest stops closed, truckers are forced to urinate on precious trees drawing the scorn of environmentalists world wide.

obamacare website predicts 357,800 % more people will die of Coronavirus than would have under free market health care system.

Businesses leaving China like rats off a sinking ship.

Saturday, April 11, 2020

Another Dang Slow News Day !

Jim Carrey and George Conway arrested by Secret Service agents while attempting to enter White House and assassinate president Donald Trump with Tomahawk stolen from Elizabeth Warren's makeshift Teepee.​  Little did they know Tomahawk was rubber fake replica anyway.
Bobby DeNiro can't stop crying even while in ICU.  Ex-wife claims he hasn't taken a shower in 3 and a half months.  ICU nurses wearing gas masks.  Doctors don welding googles.

​Joe Biden in virtual video campaign event says "Folks Folks Folks, Democrats need to investigate them selves now.​  They've run out of things to investigate."

AOC talks about critical shortage of kraft box macaroni and velveeta cheese.  She's serious folks.  Joe Biden opines that if only AOC was 20 years younger she'd make a great VP."

AOC claims ​Steele dossier too rusty to investigate.​

FOX's Chris Wallace dares anyone to come forward with beadier eyes than he has.

Joe Biden beside himself after finding all hidden Easter eggs in underwear of young girls who were invited to the Joe Biden Easter Egg hunt event.  Claims this more than qualifies him to be the leader of the 'thing', whatever that is.

Nana Pelosi warns "America is shut down for good"  Posts video of Mayor DeBlasio wiping butt on grass at New York's Central Park in front of pre-teen victims of former Joe Biden sexual assaults.  Nominated for Nobel Peace Prize following day.

​Rosie O'Donnell receives Kennedy Center award for donating excessive body hair to young cancer patient children for wigs.

72 Virgins claim Joe Biden unable to perform sexually even with multiple viagra pills and a bottle of Night Train wine.

Jill Biden on MSNBC's Morning Joe show saying Told Ya !
Slow news day.....