Monday, April 20, 2020

Lastest News !

Donald Trump in secret meeting with special operators in regard to Chris Wallace puts a cotton roll in each cheek and tells them "Make that beady eyed son of a bitch an offer he can't refuse".

Project Veritas uncovers evidence that Joe Biden has sent multiple emails to RealDonaldTrump begging to feel his leg hairs.

Oh My.., Gabby Giffords kills 87 students in school for gifted children with AR-15...  Federal Judge refuses to bring charges - Cites brain damage caused by another Democrat that shot her in the head in Tucson, Az.

Elizabeth Warren pathetically panders to become Joe Biden's running mate claiming she will get under Oval Office conference table and feel his leg hairs at every single staff meeting if he accepts her.

West Texas Crude Price Turns Negative (Real One)     This means they are paying you to take their oil.  Gas stations all over begging people to come and fill up not only for free but receive a rebate as well.

Bradley Manning suicidal once again after not being able to find someone to date in NYC.  Falsely blames lock down in typical denial excuse used by most transgenders.

FBI, CIA, NSA, and all other intel communities confess to being in cahoots with Russians.  In their defense, they claim Russian women are irresistible.  Even to other women.  Whatever.

Facebook declares "We are going to force audio and video listening devices into your homes to record everything you say and do and there ain't shit you can do about it.  Plus you will pay a monthly subscription fee for the privilege."  Expect to see yourselves all over Pornhub real soon.  Millennials Cheer !

Pelosi admits she really pays $87 a pint for ice cream.  Laughs like wicked witch of West knowing stupid dipshits will vote her back in again.

Mitt Romney declares on national TV that Donald Trump and Republican party must DIE.  Secret Service planning to visit the Utah Senator for an interview.

Jim Acosta begs Michelle Obama to let him masturbate in front of her/him/whatever.

George Bush secretly painting a Barack Obama nude piece that was commissioned by Joe Biden.

America re-opens May 1st but no restaurants are still in business.  Chinese Italian Mexicans very depressed.
This is what I'm reading anyways.  Until we meet again.


  1. Dear Lord in Heaven - what would I do without your news updates. Without you I would have no idea of what was going on in the world - and I thank you.

    Jim Acosta begs Michelle Obama to let him masturbate in front of her/him/whatever.

    Okay - guilty for snorting at that one. I am seriously deranged. Saaaaaaaavvvve Me

    1. Thank You Adrienne. And - there will be no filtering of news here at the Dairy. :-) All Snorts appreciated.

  2. I just can't even comment...they are all SO GOOD!!! I was thrilled with the article on countries billing China....PLEASE, GOD, LET THIS HAPPEN!!
    You are SO good at this, thanks for the BIG laughs!!

    1. Thank You So Much Z! I get lots of pleasure making folks laugh. Lots of fun. Heck I even make myself laugh on occasion. Heh.

  3. I've noted a few discrepancies this time around. First, how could Bradley Chelsea Manning not find a date in NYC with Bill Di Blasio in town? Next error, Elizabeth Warren is Joe Biden, in drag. Please get your shit together.

    1. Mustang, You are not zeroed into the matrix my friend. You are a bubble off. Here, take the Red Pill, or maybe it's the Blue pill. I forget.

    2. Could I just have a green pill this time?

    3. Mustang, On the way my friend. Give it a minute.

  4. Germany sends China 130 Billion bill for corona virus (real one)

    All affected nations should follow Germany's lead on this one.

    Of course, the Dem Congress Critters and Dems (and RINOs) on judicial benches, including the SCOTUS, will never let it happen. Pfffft!

    1. We do have to admit that the socialist and communist nations of the world have led the way to political transparency. They accomplished this by rounding up everyone who didn’t agree with them and murdered them in cold blood: Soviet Union, Nazi Germany, China, Cambodia ... and all the puppet organizations, including the US Democratic Party. I must be stupid or something, because given all murders directed against blacks by Democrats, including millions of unborn black babies, why is even one black American voting for a Democrat?

    2. I have “an answer,” although I’m not sure many will agree. IMO, blacks vote for Democrats because most blacks culturally identify themselves as African rather than as Americans. If true, if these people have culturally distanced themselves from the American mainstream, then who else would they vote for if not Democrats/communists?

    3. @AOW - I have no doubt congress critters (probably most) are being paid by China.

      @Sam, it is a head scrathcher - even at my age. Especially considering Malcolm X had it figured out perfectly in the 1960's. Is what it is and it's getting worse imo. Lot's more blacks supporting Trump though - We'll see.

      @Mustang. Darn hard subject. Simple answer is they are having a hard time tossing out the crutches.

  5. HAHAHALOLOL!!! The Diary really should take over every single airport concourse tv monitor... as soon as the CNN contract expires and people fly again.

    1. HAHHAHA Mr Blade ! THANKS SO MUCH !! Wouldn't that be the Hoot ! Maybe I could take on The Five! - and even make Don Lemon cry. Imma have to read this one again.

  6. Do you know a single Trump supporter who has been swayed, and who would vote for Gropin Joe?? I Don’t Know of Any! Our President is doing a Great Job.
    The Socialist Democrats have tried to push one Hoax after another, one jackass, after another has come forward with some nonseasonal accusation after another from Russia, Russia, Russia, to the Jessie Smollett Hoax and it seemed to do was to strengthened the Presidents base.
    I’ve never seen so many MAGA hats, Trump flags and Bunper stickers before in years.. Yes people allover are talking about Covid-19....But the political discussion is all about the ass-whooping Trump will give to the Senile Groper, “Creepy Uncle Joe.”in November.
    The Dimsocialist’s may refuse accept it but they pulled out ALL of their front runners so as not to waste them on a sure Republican Victory, and put a sure loser in there instead. Like they were already accepting to lose. It’s no secret that the Demosocialists have locked Uncle Joe in his basement, so that he can’t open his mouth up to the press and say something stupid as he is likely to do. They want the economy to be wrecked so that they would be able to blame Trump for it. It’s their only chance to have Biden win.
    Last night I heard the news that our courageous President Trump signed an Executive Order to TEMPORARILY suspend all immigration into the United States. In a sane world that would be a very wise thing to do in a crisis such asthe one we are in right now. However, we all know just how that Executive Order is going to be taken. In case you don’t? I’ll tell you right now! The Left will make it into a “RACIST” thing! Sure as hell, the President will be called a “RACIST” for shutting ALL those poor immigrants that are being effected by this Chinese Virus from entering the United States of America, and shutting them off from the “Land of Opportunity”.
    Just wait for the next Presidents press conference, the Liberal heads will explode and Media reporters are gonna wet their pants.
    It won’t matter that the real reason for the order is to NOT allow any foreigners to bring the Virus into the country! They won’t say that! It actually was a GREAT idea, why not have as much needed protection to our nation as possible? If Americans need to stay home, then why do we need immigrants need to come to America? We need to protect the health, and the jobs of our American Citizens, and stop worrying about others right now. So thank you, Mr. President. Any Great leader does whatever is good for his own citizens first! With the FORCED UN-EMPLOYMENT of our citizens is at an all time high, due to the Pandemic, he and others in his team understand that when and UNTIL jobs become available again, it MUST be the American citizens who get the opportunity for work first. After the economy and jobs are back on track again, then the foreigners can come in. But not until then.

    As for Gropin Joe Biden, lets face the facts, he’s a worn-out old man who can't seem to string together a complete sentence. His team of handlers should be charged with Elder-abuse

  7. On another note!
    Joe Biden says he would take Michelle Obama in a Heart beat, to be his running mate for the 2020 presidential election.

    I guess to the Democrats it makes more sense than Kamala Harris, but as Presidential material? She CERTAINLY IS NOT!
    And of course if they were to win, Barry would be pulling the strings instead of The Groper.
    We’ve had MORE than we need to have in those 8 years, so let’s not even go there because it wont be Biden. He is toast! He’s got nothing left in the tank..

    Besides, what makes Michelle Obama qualified for the Presidency? Just because she’s a Black Female? She ever ran for office, she never served this country,.she has absolutely no accomplishments other than being the World Champion for doing more Jumping Jacks on late Night TV shows than any other First Lady in the history of this Nation.. .

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  9. It sure would be nice if we had a Mature, Honest, Competent Leader in charge of New York City, the Worlds best cities for diversity and culture in stead of Andrew Cuomo. .
    By the way, Our Great Leader Andrew Cuomo just released another eight Sex offenders from prison including three child rapists and he didn’t even warn the police!
    Three of these poor misunderstood inmates had been convicted of raping children. So, while liberals are raceing to save prison inmates from catching the coronavirus, we are releasing these sexual deviants back into the community to rape others again.
    And by the way, this was on top of the 1,100 parole violators that were already previously released from jails over Coronavirus concerns! When asked about it,
    he said that he released people who committed Non-serious parole violations
    Does Fredo’s brother classify Child Rape as being “non-serious”?
    What do you Liberals think about your Hero Andrew Cuomo now?

    And this is the guy who Criticizers the President? Give me a Freaken Break. This is the guy that accused the President of watching TV, and not working!