Friday, April 30, 2021

Now Here is a Tune

that is good for doing needlepoint, walking dogs on the beach, blasting off in a SpaceX vehicle,  buying DOGEcoin,  motoring that truck down a two lane blacktop,  looking for 4 leafs, staring into space or applying just the right pressure in just the right place at just the right time.  A tune for young love and old memories, a rainy day, or a fast boat powered by a V-12 on a warm lake. 

Unfortunately no liberals were harmed in the making of this post.

Sunday, April 25, 2021

Look at the Moron Some of You Put In The White House

And it will get worse with the upcoming CINC change complete with genital accoutrements. 

Head on over to the Lone Star Parson and check it out.

I mean really, not even that submissive moron Justine Trudeau of Canadia punks himself this badly. 

Then of course enjoy this candid assessment by the center square.

Thursday, April 22, 2021

Can You Make Up News Like This ?

The year 2026 - Maxine Waters in prison and has undergone gender transition to male (I know hard to tell) and here she is at her parole hearing describing what she will do if released.

Duuude ! The seas have fallen, not risen.  Past and present Harbour of Ancient and present day Rome.  LINK

Kitty wants me to keep working from home.  purrpurrpurrrrrrrrrr

Stanford study concludes facemasks are absolutely useless against the pink death - Covid

I dunno, Commander Charles Richard looks serious when he warns of the potential Nuklar Threat.  $4.6 billion federal study concludes Duck and Cover best defense against potential upcoming nuclear bomb attacks.

In 20 minute interview with Kamala Harris, she just laughs hysterically at each question providing no answer, occasionally screaming "I'M THE VP!"

California imprisons Smokey the Bear. Claims Smokey constantly getting people paranoid with hyperbole regarding friendly fires being health and safety hazards. Students at Berkeley chant "Smokey the Liar!" over and over.

White House flies flag at half staff as Afghanistan officials declare "America kicked our butts. They beat us fair and square. We bow down to America.  We are not worthy.  We are devastated to see them go."

Facebook now requires monthly fee of $50 per user to be paid in advance.  Furious users relay horror stories about how their kids will have to go on food rationing to pay for it.
Crying woman talking about how she may have to turn to prostitution.  "What else Can I do!?" she cries.

Kamala Harris gets new drivers license specifying "X" designation for gender.  Later says she was confused and thought it meant how someone might find her lying in bed at any given moment.

Moon declared racist.  "It's white and it ryhmes with 'coon'" screams Al Sharpton.

Rappers, young and old, professional or amatuer set to replace all federal circuit court judges.  First order of business will be to replace all court employees with scantily clad exotic dancers

Meghan McCain demands disgraced dad be cloned and brought back to life to serve in Congress so we can "Take This Country Back".

Biden begins 2020 presidential campaign.  White House spokesperson says 'Aw just let him do what he wants. We think it's kinda cute actually."

New Jeopardy host declares all answers must be given in Jive.  All contestants stymied.  All scores are in negative numbers at conclusion of show.  Or in Jive "All Sc'ors bitch ugly my brother".

"Booogada Booogada Booogada" declared valid answer to any College SAT question starting in the 2021-22 admissions testing period.

Biden writes executive order to Annex China into the USA.  Experts think it may be the other way around.

Yes, Of Course - CO2 causes racism

Tuesday, April 13, 2021

Kid News Network Contemplating Stock Market IPO. In The Meantime...

Barron Trump, currently 6' 8" at 15 years of age projected to be 17' 5" when he runs for president in the year 2040.  White House modification plans already beginning at secret architectural firm owned by Russian Oligarch and based in China.

Scientist claims his craft will be able to accelerate from zero to many times the speed of sound in a fraction of a second.  He admits he is still working on a way to keep human passengers from ending up like bugs on a windshield on the back walls of the craft.

Iran demands to be given all nuclear arms technology in addition to nuclear bombs, submarines and airplanes, and a bunch of money, before they agree to hold nuclear talks with Biden administration.

Mike Lindell accused of planting microscopic devices into My Pillows that convert liberals to Conservatives while they sleep.

Secret video emerges of Hunter Biden in sordid sex threesome with Jill Biden and underage grand daughter of Joe Biden while seedy motel room being guarded by Secret Service.  Jimmy Kimmel and Hunter preview video on late night show. 

Recognizing customers are bored with 'Pro' versions of products, Apple to announce new 'Porn Star' designation for higher end models.

Note to First Ladies.  Shut up, you weren't elected.

Antifa declares itself a terrorist organization. Demands huge sums of money from Biden administration to send all members in for therapy and counselling.

What The HECK Is Going On ?! Who Is Responsible !?

Mr Rogers plans to run for president in 2024 with the platform "I will hang up your sweater, get you a cookie, and tuck you in each and every night."
Odds makers give him a 101% chance of being elected.

N Korea's Kim Jong un declares American politicians totally screwed in the head from sexual tension. Offers to build Comfort Women Resorts throughout the District of Columbia and stock them with teenage girls from Central America now flooding Southern Border.

And finally for your partly cloudy, but mostly sunny day wherever the heck you are - Don't Worry ! Be Happy !

Tuesday, April 6, 2021

Lots Going On Out There !

California sheriff arresting innocent residents off the street.  "For every illegal alien with a criminal record I release, I'm required to arrest a law abiding citizen off the street or even out of their home if necessary."

Graham calls biden admin a "shitshow", immediately apologizes and calls for amnesty for all illegals, past present and future.  Secretly calls Joe Biden on batphone and pledges allegiance to Democrat party.

Marco Rubio - There are UFO's flying over US military bases and the government has no clue what they are.

Couple questions there Marco.. So why are we paying you people and Why the hell are we paying you people? 

Biden's Secy of Defense orders all F-22's to have the capability to shoot themselves like F35 can do.

Marketing people in terror of offending someone now showing humans in commercials as just big multi-colored blobs with patches of hair and random numbers of limbs.
Biden was talking the other day and mentioned "Jim Eagle" as some sort of racist thing.  We went to our experts to find that a "Jim Eagle" is a Republican dog faced pony soldier and a Racist Eagle in the middle of a malarkey orgy.
We are all relatives of George Floyd.  I want my money !
Pelosi opens sessions now with drinking of blood from the Judas Chalice.  All Democrats partake. Republicans balk but eventually join in.
Jimmy Carter begins 2024 presidential campaign. Says "Hell if Biden and that black girl can do it"

All teachers must now be certified for ideological perfection. Just partly socialist isn't good enough. Just partly Communist isn't good enough.

Juan Williams states it is impossible for black people to commit crimes.

Dog Loves Unicorn - Hell Yea !

Pence announces 2024 run for president.  In a public announcement event, he yawned repeatedly, snored, and chanted the same phrase over and over until everyone left.

Russian Dating Profile Pictures.  Guess these are real.  Feel sorry for people living in an environment that too many Americans want to emulate..  Get your profile pics now kids!

Drug mfg's claim their vaccine is 100% effective in people who are 100% Not at risk for Covid.
California outlaws gasoline and diesel powered cars.  Residents buy electric cars, then discover CO2 output at power plants used for recharging cars is through the roof. Rogue residents sabotage and destroy power plants.  Now no one can drive.
2024 - Newly minted female pilot slides into the left seat of cockpit, looks at her co-pilot and asks "So where are we heading today?" He responds "Cleveland".  She says "Oh Hell no, we've been there 3 times this week, we're going somewhere else !"  They end up in Newark.  Granted both cities are about the same. Passengers still upset over destination snafu.  United did not immediately return calls for comment.
Democrat Governors Issue New Covid Mandate.  Everyone must wear 3 pair of underwear when in public, at least one from another gender and do the swag dance every 15 minutes.  Your phone will ding when it is time to Swag!  Don't have a phone, we'll give you one!  Study the following Vid until you have it memorized.