Sunday, January 2, 2011

My Predictions for 2011

1.) janet napolitano cancels travel to All Foreign Countries. The order is effective for all of 3 minutes and 20 seconds. Whoever was responsible for calling her in the past to tell her to STFU has had enough, goes apeshit on obama, and janet is fired. Paris Hilton becomes the new head of DHS. Paris declares David Letterman as a Domestic Terrorist. An APB is immediately issued for his arrest.

2.) Senate Democrats declare that the minority leader of the house is a ‘demeaning position’ and in order to allow the person to keep his/her self-esteem, they allow the bitch pelosi to keep her 757 with 16 flight attendants and 100 grand per year bar bill to stock the flying vampire machine so she can ‘feel good about herself’.

3.) John Boehner gets a Cessna 172 with Helen Thomas as a flight attendant. Btw, that is Janet standing on the pontoon. She is the new "Speaker of the House Travel Security Agent" (after being fired as head of DHS) and will be giving John pat downs prior to each flight to make sure he's not carrying a bomb to kill himself in mid-flight.

4.) barak obama goes on a 52 week vacation.

5.) Several countries opt out of the EU (agree with Trestin here) and All countries denounce the US dollar as being worth Jack. As a result, Gold rises to $37,000 the ounce.

6.) Gasoline sells for $9.80 a gallon. Democrats say it is the fault of the Republicans, Republicans say it is the fault of the Democrats. Whoever’s fault it is, Big Oil and GW Bush are making out like Bandits...  BP too.

7.) Unemployment benefits are extended for another 1186 months as various Rinos' compromise with the communist in the White House.

8.) Reality shows are declared ‘required viewing’ by all levels of education. Grade, high school, and university. During testing, extra credits can be acquired by students who can divine what is actually being uttered behind the incessant bleeping sounds.

9.) Supreme Court Judges Sotomayor and Kagan become the first gay marriage couple after declaring gay marriage as being legal in the USA. Janet Napolitano serves as Best Man and Maid of Honor.

10.) Kim Jong Il, after being ignored for months, declares his Alliance with Marvin the Martian and their plan to Destroy The Earth with the PU-36 Illudium Space Modulator Device if their demands are not met.

11.) A Palestinian terrorist moves to the USA and becomes the front runner for President in the 2012 elections for the Democrat party.

12.) World Peace by 11-11-2011.

13.) California declares Mental Disease the New Norm as Jerry Moonbeam Brown declares he intends to “Outspend Obama” and laughingly adds "I've got some catching up to do!"

14.) The Drunken Lobotomy test subject formerly known as Mummar Quadaffi declares that Libya is now in charge of the world and demands the United Nations move to Tripoli. (Hey, this isn’t so bad..)

It’s shaping up to be a good year !


  1. Your predictions are exactly the same as mine, except that I also predict that the UK will suffer yet another plague of socialism/suicide.

  2. Nickie, Now I'm flattered.

    And I think you're right about the UK.

  3. Helen Thomas as a flight attendant is frightening.

  4. RIGHT ON!!!!!
    I especially like # 14-I've always said that the valuable property upon which the UN buildings stand could be put toward a better money maker for- instead of a money taker- from--- US taxpayers...!

  5. Lol!
    I like your list a lot more than mine.

  6. Well this certainly brightened my day and gave me a chuckle. Thanks!

  7. DeanO, Darn right it could happen :)

  8. AMW, Man, she's frightening in any position.

  9. Opus, wait til you see my next one :)

  10. Trestin, as far as stuff coming true, I agree !

  11. Euripides, Glad you enjoyed it.

  12. Pretty ambitious predictions.

    Anything is possible today.

  13. Admiral, all was revealed in a dream.

  14. I was searching for a photo of a Cessna 172 with pontoons when I discovered your blog.......... I enjoyed the commentary

    Les, Dillingham Alaska

  15. ;-) Ranger, Glad you enjoyed it.