Secret James Comey Interview 8-June-2017

Comey testifies about meeting Trump in oval office and dinner:

In the oval office,  I was wearing a nice blue suit, similar to the color of the drapes in the office.  I hoped if I stood by the drapes maybe Trump wouldn't see me.  But apparently he did and called me over.  You can see in the video where he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward him, then he grabbed my right arm to pull me in further and he tried to kiss me and hug me. He whispered "I love You James".  That confused and concerned me deeply.  I literally had to push him away with both hands as you can see.

That evening he insisted I come over for dinner... When I arrived I was shocked to find it would only be he and I at the dinner.  We shared a cocktail moment.  I had a Pink Squirrel, then a wine spritzer and he was chugging straight vodka as we talked about putting greens and cute rabbits on the golf courses.  He told the server to make sure it wasn't Russian vodka, then looked at me sternly.  I had the direct impression he was telling me to drop all Russian investigations.

Soon after I finished my spritzer, I felt kind of tingly and things looked a little blurry. Maybe it was just two strong drinks on an empty stomach, but then I thought 'Did he put something in my drink?'.  

Fortunately, the food was going to be served and I assumed I'd perk up pretty quickly with something in my tummy.

The server brought salads, and it looked like his had Russian dressing on it.  He sternly admonished the server - "Do not serve me anything Russian please" then quickly looked at me again.  I was sure now that he was demanding I drop all Russian tie and election related investigations.  I was very uncomfortable.  Then he complimented me on my 'pretty eyes'.

He asked me if I would be loyal to him, and I said I'd be honest.  And he said yes, Honest Loyalty.....  I said I would.  At that moment, I felt his shoeless foot gently rubbing up and down my ankles.  Oh he's asking me if I'll be True !

Good Lord I thought !

We were finished with our salads and the server brought a single dish of pasta. 
The servers all looked like Russian KGB.
The president asked me if I wanted to do that thing where we both try to eat the same pasta noodle.  I said no.    He shrugged it off and asked for the next course which turned out to be Chateaubriand for two.   I was really getting practically noxious at this point.  I didn't realize I'd be on a DATE with the president.

I wanted to attack him like the fierce lion I am, but I held back knowing killing a president is not a good thing to do without witnesses.

I forced down the steak, and now it is dessert and coffee, which he pronounced covfefe.  He told the server to bring the very special covfefe.  He said "Vladamir, er I mean Stanley, bring the special Covfefe".  I thought it odd.

I didn't think the covfefe was anything special.

Dessert was cherries jubilee.  He would look at me dreamily and lick each cherry off the end of his fork.  I was so disgusted.

Finally the dinner was over and I ran to my car crying the whole way.  And that's the honest truth Senator Franken.

Senator Franken is obviously very aroused by all of this talk and encourages me to provide more detail.