Friday, January 24, 2020

In The News !

Justin Timberlake was paid millions to sing the five notes in the McDonald's jingle.  "Ba ba ba ba ba" followed by someone else singing  "I'm lovin it"  Note to McDonalds execs - I'll do that for half price.

Donald Trump Jr prank calls the ayatollah in Iran.   Asks him if he has Prince Albert in a can (let him out), then asks him if his refrigerator is running (better chase after it), then asks him if he's finally married that goat he has had his eye on forever then laughs like hell and hangs up.

Justine Trudeau comes out as a wanna be transgender.  Admits that in Canadia, he is on a 14 year waiting list for the required surgeries. Begins studying how to use tampons as a male or even as a transgendered female without the equipment to menstruate.

The obama's are awarded Oscars for being black or at least half black and half female and for being America's enemies #1 

The DNC finally decides that an MS-13 gang member will be their candidate for the 2020 election.
Here he is with his VP pick.  Libtards go apeshit over the lack of diversity in their candidate.

Nana Pelosi vows to Personally Kill President Trump. She wants that 3 million bounty offered by that dude in Iran.

A screen shot of Adam Schiff looking for evidence on Trump.
Jerry Nadler (the Penguin) vows to kill Batman, then President Trump as he also has his eye on the 3 mil.

In an interview on The View, Nana Pelosi says she will not  press charges on Jerry Nadler for raping her saying "Well I didn't want him to rape me at first, but then after a bit he just seemed like a big fluffy Penguin, so I just lay back and enjoyed it.  Also, it Has been a while as you can imagine."

Lindsey Graham unaware of a hot mic in the room screams that "Nobody does lip service better than me!"

Lizzy Warren promises that federal income tax rates for the middle class will be ZERO and that no one will have to pay for college, lunch, dinner, or prostitutes.  Free. Plus anyone who has ever paid for anything will be reimbursed in Full by the federal government.  And it will not add to the deficit or the national debt. AOC backs this plan with a power point presentation that even frozen iguana's in Florida cannot understand.

Bernie Sanders screams at us to look at the success in Venezuela as proof of the socialist gun-free environment.

Virginia governor Ralphie Northam introduces legislation that confiscates all guns and makes it mandatory for all women to submit to sex on demand anywhere in the state.

Congressional "lawmakers" to be replaced in total immediately by "celebrities" and "TV Personalities".  Cher writes bill to make presidential assassination totally legal if president is a Republican.  Joy Behar writes bill to send all Conservatives straight to Hell.  Without passing Go.  Let's just stop here....

Public schools take complete control of all children for the purpose of indoctrination of Marxist/Leninist ideology and drug them if necessary to accomplish their goals.  Wait, this is actually happening.

Coronavirus air dropped into all red states, vaccine air dropped into all blue states.

Brad and Jen get remarried and re-divorced on same day.

Modern country music declared an instrument for brain damage and liberal indoctrination.


Juan Williams hires advisor to help him come up with the stupidest thing to say on national TV.

New York City replacing violent criminal in jails with Christian clergy members and persons with no criminal record.

California creates legislation to remove all toilets in the state and require co-ed public defecation and urination everywhere.

Nana Pelosi begs liquor makers to come up with something stronger than Everclear since it is only 190 proof.

Chris Mathews suing Trump for not making his legs tingle.

Climate freaks planning to move as far North as possible to remain in a comfort temperature zone for the next 10 years. (lol)

3 Orgasms per week reported to reduce coronary problems by 50% (Real one)

Having a cat or two (better) will reduce your potential death from stress by 99%.



Hey, I just report.

Cher develops way to make her singing even more monotone and boring.
Well, slow news day..


















23 comments :

  1. And yes, Overnight Sensation!

    Then there's Justine, will the torture never stop?

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    Replies
    1. You guys sure got that right.

      That' what Defecrats DO – they TORTURE the nation till finally Republicans give in to them just to get the goddam bastards to SHUT the FUCK UP!

      Delete
    2. The defecrats sure do torture the nation.

      Delete
  2. LOL, I am now caught up. I got behind after the cold snap caused me to freeze and drop from my tree house. One question, is that album cover from Justin Timberlake's latest boy band, The Frozen Iguana's? Ba ba ba ba ba

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    1. DaBlade, that' Frank Zappa's Overnight Sensation, but having seen a recent pick of Justy Bliebers, I'd say that could be one of his though.

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  3. KID! I'm here to tell you It's TIME to QUIT your DAY JOB.

    Undoubtedly, you are now the finest, most incisive creator and purveyor of SPURIOUS NEWS and DISINFORMATION, since Woodward and Bernstein split up.

    Even better YOU are a HELLUVA LOT more AMUSING than THEY ever even PRETENDED to be.

    Thanks for an hilarious start to what-is-sure-to-be an HISTORIC SATURDAY as the TRUMP DREAM TEAM of DEFENSE ATTORNEYS begin their ANNIHILATION of ADAM SCHITT and the PELOUSICRATS.

    Once convicted the Pop-Eyed, Pencil-Necked Twit will be stripped naked in public, impaied on a meat hook placed on a specially constructed scaffold in front of The Capitol Steps and subjected to The Death of a Thousand Cuts. Each Republican member of the House and Senate will be lined up. equpped with a pen knife or a razor blade and permitted just ONE swipe at Adam. This will continue unabated to a martial drumbeat by the U.S. Marine Band till the little turd finally stops screaming and gives up the ghost.

    All-You-Can-Eat Hot Dogs and Eskimo Pies will follow then a spectacular Fireworks Dislpay over the Mall after dark.

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    Replies
    1. Franco, I'm gonna have to take tat as a compliment! But seriously, Thank You ! I'll try to keep it coming.

      Franco, I've got your fireworks wight here.

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    2. Of curse it was a compliment, Kid. Your Comical Impressins of a Dismal Realities are masterful. Dead on target.

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    3. Thank You Again Franco ! I have to say with the kind of stuff going on in the world, I don't think it's very hard to do.

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    4. PS - If only the public would cause a purge of Congress and the Feds. With the left going truly off the rails it may come to pass.

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    5. And, Kid, I LOVED the beautiful Fireworks video with Andrea Boccelli singing "Time to Say Goodbye" in his native Italian.

      Don't know why, but that music, which has always struck me as wistful and more-than-a-little sad, WORKS with the beautiful exploding mages.

      Th scene would be PERFECT if only we could get Adam Schitt to swallow a pill-sized BOMB with remote control, so we could see that little prick's fuckin' Pop-Eyed Head BLOWN to BITS and Sattered to the Fou Winds as the Ceremonies Conclude.

      Man, I'd play the video of THAT 'round the clock every day for at least a week.

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    6. Thanks Franco. That's been one of my favorite vids and music.

      As to the bug eyed creature? That works too. Maybe it will come to pass. My suggestion is to spread it like wildfire (assuming the democrat party implodes in 2020) that it was adam's, pelosi's and nadler's fault. Not to mention the totally anti-American moslem pukes and the morons like AOC in congress that did them in.

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    7. The Little Schitt is to the .U. S. Congress what some of the worst and most persistent leftist trolls are to the blogosphere.

      The Pencil-Necked Pervert is a One-Man PLAGUE on the Land.

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    8. Franco, an educated critical thinking public would never allow such a turd to remain in congress. Blame education for that, then blame parents for allowing this putrid education to continue unabated.

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    9. Hey, Kid, you're singing MY song. ;-) I've been trying to make that exact point for many years.

      Whenever I refer to the influence of "Cultural Marxism" THAT is what I'm aiming at. The Cutural Marxists wormed their way into our universities, and gradually TOOK OVER the fields of Education, Communicatin, Entertainment, and the Law.

      THAT's wy we are where we are today, but the process has been so insidious, very few can see it, and too many of those who do are reluctant t ADMIT it for far of being called "Racists," "Bigots," Anti-Semites," and "Homophobes," etc.

      It's a tragic situation.

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    10. Couldn't agree more Franco.

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  4. Cat High Fives and Fist Bumps !

    Cats rule!

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    Replies
    1. AOW, Cats definitely rule and that is one of my favorite gifs of all time. :-)

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    2. I move to have a random selection of stray cats REPLECE the DEFECRATS.

      I'm sure that would straighten us out in a hurry.

      A GENIUS idea, right?

      };-)

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    3. _________ MIAOW _________

      (Excellent, Mysterious, Subtle)

      I put down my book,

      The Meaning of Zen,
      
and see the cat smiling
      
into her fur

      as she delicately combs it

      with her rough pink tongue.

      "Cat, I would lend you this
      
book to study
      
but it appears that you have
      
already read it."

      She looks up and gives me

      her full gaze.
      
"Don't be ridiculous," she purrs.

      "I wrote it."


      ~ Dilys Laing

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  5. Loved the scooter steal.... there are so many wonderful clips out there with our best buds... :) . Good stuff Kid.

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