An Intimate Interview With Maxine Waters

Andrea Michell: Maxine, what has been your best day in Congress in the 107 years you've been serving?

Maxine: Well Andrea, and I thank you for asking!  I think my best day was when Barack and I split the 170 million dollars we got as kickback from the Solyndra matter.  It was so sad that this Thriving and Vital company failed because of the Right Wing attacks on the Very Important climate change we are dealing with.  They were going to cover the Earth with solar panels blocking out the sun to every other living thing, but in the end, 85 million dollars can go a long way to making up for a sad situation.  I was so happy in fack, that I let Hank Johnson have sex with me later that day. ha ha ha.  At one point, I thought Hank was going to Tip Over and Capsize. ha ho ho.  And that's all I'm going to say about that !

Andrea: What a cute story Maxine !

Andrea: Maxine, I understand you are very interested in American advances in Space travel, have you heard anything new there that you can tell us about.

Maxine: Well. I found it odd and depressing that no one could tell me whether we'd be able to see the lunar lander when our spaceship was in low orbit over Mars. No wait a minute, that was my Very Good Friend - Sheila Jackson-Lee who was so anxious to see our flag planted on Mars by the lunar landers.  I do get confused sometimes !  ho ho ho.  This work for the American people can be so exhausting Amelia.

Andrea: Yes Maxine. We so appreciate the very hard work you do day in and day out.
Alright Maxine, tell me what your plans are for when you are President of These United States.  Don't be coy with me, I know you've been thinking hard about it.  Who will be your running mate.  We are all assuming it will be Nancy Pelosi the legislative Genius, but do you have a surprise for us ?!

Maxine: Well Adrienne, I can't tell you anything about my choice for running mate, I'm still taking bids, er I mean going through the resume's !  But I will say there will be two black women at the top of the pile.  We've had enough old white cracker asse.. Oh Excuse me !  Enough old white crackers running this country.  They've all got theirs and it's time some black women got theirs too !

Now what would I do as President of Russia, er I mean the United States.
 Well, as you probably know, the first thing I will do is Impeach Donald Trump !  That needs to happen !  And then I will impeach Putin and Pence.  Bof a dem.

Andrea:  Thank you so much Maxine, unfortunately we are out of time !   I have to cutaway to my interview with Russian President Vladimir Putin.  I would love for you to come back some time.

Maxine:  I will look forward to it Anastasia !

Andrea,  Now here is a pre-recorded interview I so magnificently hosted with the Russian President Putin.

Andrea: First off Mr Putin, I must say I didn't appreciate having my pants dropped by your foreign minister Sergei Lavrov the last time I was here and...




Putin: Отже, де саме ви дізналися ваші манери? 

English: So, where exactly Did you learn your manners?

Andrea: Well, um, Vladimir, what do you think of Maxine Water's claims of election interference..

Putin: суку, що дурний повинен бути введений в табір ГУЛАГу і ганчіркою, заправлені в її рот. Suka Blyat !

English: that stupid bitch needs to be put into a gulag and a rag stuffed into her mouth. (rest is censored)

Putin: I візьмемо цей паршивий привід для людини на ведмедя полювання поїздки і з що обличчя і перуку, я впевнений, що хтось буде сумка її перший день.

Американці повинні прийняти пізніше практиці римляни та обирати коней до їх Сенату. They б набагато краще. 

English: I'll take that lousy excuse for a human on a bear hunting trip. With that face and wig, I am confident someone will bag her the first day.   The Americans should adopt the later practice of the Romans and elect Horses to their Senate.  They'd be much better off.

I don't think we need any more clarification from President Putin on the matter.

Andrea, [the arrogant bitch] signing off.