Tuesday, March 16, 2021

Slow News Day

Isabel Guzman, directly related to Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman put in charge of America's Small Business Administration.  

"The likeness is uncanny" say the former Royal couple wandering around the world pimping themselves for whatever someone will give them and about to get whacked by the Queen.






The Tiger character in this latest version will be playing with two broken legs and an 18 handicap.

Kim Jong un's ugly sister, Kim Yo Jong has told Biden to watch his P's and Q's and also that “If it [the U.S.] wants to sleep in peace for coming four years, it had better refrain from causing a stink at its first step,”  In closing she said "My Brudder gonna mess you up big time little pedo man."



Panicked trader says market could go up, down, or sideways "Nobody Knows!" he screams from the NYSE trading floor.




Scientists announce plan to move Earth further away from the sun in latest futile attempt to keep planet from self-destructing in 8 years.  Spokesperson for Climate Action Critical Activities joint venture  (CACA) says everyone needs to send all financial assets to France in order to purchase Huge Rocket Engines to attach to either side of the Earth and fire them up to send the Earth off and away from the Sun. He/She/it added. "The Sun is one big hot mother and it is intent on making things warmer here on Earth. There's no disputing it."

In local WCPO station news interviews, Cincinnati man claims "Ain't nuthin going on around here that wasn't goin on 20 years ago.  I ain't gonna worry about all those freaks out there. Havin a good time, suggest y'all do the same."  

New Cryptocurrency announced, "Puddytat" to counter DOGE coin that has recently rocketed to 0.06 cents per.  Creator of Puddytat claims owners will be purring like mad in a couple years. "It's the cats meow" he says as he calls for anyone interested to send in their favorite cat pics to use as the image icon for new coin. 

Coca Cola CEO states that "A bunch of boycotting Right Wing Nuts won't affect our bottom line. We're lobbying the Biden administration right now to make Coca Cola part of the vaccine regimen for the Covid plague. Ha ha ha Ha Ha HAAAAA" he screams as he leaves the interview hand in hand with apparent latest homosexual partner Jack Dorsey, CEO of Twitter.  Picture absent since the scucker looks like a homeless drowned rat these days due to him probably strung out on cocaine with Hunter Biden in recent weeks.

13 comments :

  1. Yeah, we're deep in Climate Action Critical Activities.

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  2. I love your funny stuff (except it's only sort of/kind of funny. But ---------- truth can be funny. We laugh to keep from crying.

    Yeah, I cleaned all the cat fur off my desk while watching a video. Guess who's pacing around, meowing, and scattering fur on my clean desk 10 minutes later? First two guesses are wrong. Sigh!

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    1. Thanks Adrienne. It's the only way I can cope with the news flow. Hopefully a few people get a chuckle instead of the other thing. Coming up on springtime and I guess it is time for the kitties to start shedding for summer.

      Thanks

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  3. Ha! Our pup consolidated into the .05s and's now... moving on up. I see a steady .06 next week and then .07 and moon. Saying that, anything could happen.

    Still, I like the steady rise.

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  4. I like a company called IMPERFECT FOODS....I got this today from them:

    "With Earth Month on the horizon and the fight against climate change more pressing than ever, Imperfect Foods is proud to announce we will be a net-zero carbon operation by 2030 — 10 years earlier than major retailers and 20 years before the Paris Climate Agreement deadline."

    Am considering stopping their service, terrific or not. I don't want to support these nuts!

    Great post, as usual!!



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    1. That's the problem Z, Marketing people think they need to plate the idiots to sell their products which just creates more idiots....

      Thank you Z ! Appreciate it. I can boycott with the best of them but I won't cut my nose off. So far it's been the woke people who tell me I'm a racist deplorable white domestic terrorist. Won't give them a dime if I can help it and with companies like Coke, Goodyear, Panera, Gilette and others it is easy to never buy one of their products again for as long as I live.

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    2. .. placate the idiots...

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  5. Yeah ... boycotts work. The attitudes among Coke Company executives (who used to sell cocaine over the counter in the form of laudanum) is no doubt brought to us by the Rainbow/Push Coalition. These business executives know percentages and market share. But the problem with boycotting products (as matters of principle) is that (for example) most people have no clue about where these goods are made. People think that Haagen Dazs Ice Cream comes from some Scandinavian country. It comes from the Bronx, a borough in the crap-hole called New York. Ikea has its headquarters in Sweden, most of its junk is made in China. And don’t think that Ben & Jerry gives a rat’s ass about losing all conservative consumers, either. For 150 years, Americans worked hard to achieve the absolute pinnacle of success. Hold on tight, folks ... the ride down should be quite exciting.

    You won’t be able to use the term “pimping” with reference to the Duck and Duck’ess of Sussex in a few more years. Meghan Markle is “looking into” the possibility of running for President in 2024. Now I bet you wish you had paid more attention to geography in high school. Sussex is in England, but Mr. & Mrs. Markle may rename Burbank “Sussex” in the near future -- and if that doesn't screw up your mind, nothing will.

    Woods has serious issues. I wish him well ... you know, with his billions, but it’s up to him. Being a golf announcer isn’t bad money. I sent him an email telling him that I was available for adoption, but he’s a racist and never answered my query.

    I saw a picture of you and Ugly Sister in a Pyongyang noodle shop ... taken a few years back during the Soetoro administration. Care to comment on that?

    Ha ha ha ... for a minute there, I thought you wrote “panicked traitor.” Thought you were speaking about Buttajug. But the Cinci man is right. Same crap, different day. That’s why I come over to KNN for all the nudes that are fit to print. Er, sorry. News.

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    1. I think you may have it figured out Mustang. Lemme run it by JerryDaBlade.

      Merkle? I'll vote for her. At least she isn't a halfrican tranny. I don't think.

      Tiger? Yea, I've never gotten jack from him either. I told him I'd sleep with him for 750 mil like Elin got, but nothing. Guess I've lost my sex appeal. And I wasn't serious either.

      Me and the Pingpong girl? No Comprende Senor.

      I will try to keep you informed sir. This is the most trusted name in news ya know.

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    2. Me and the Pingpong girl? No Comprende Senor.

      Uh-huh. Pictures don't lie, Amigo. Unless Jerry shops 'em, but my sources tell me this one is the real deal on account of the fact you've got your hand up her ... well, you know.

      Delete
    3. Wow, send me some of those pics would ya ?

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