Thursday, March 18, 2021

Follow-up On The News

 In the last segment, we learned that Isabel Guzman, who is related to Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman was confirmed to be the Small Business Administration Chief.

Today we learn that Ms Guzman in her first action as SBA chief has authorized billions of dollars in the first of many grants to be given to the drug cartels along the Southern Border.  "They're small businesses you dipstick" she remarked when asked what benefit to America these grants would have.

CNN followed up with a story showing how more drugs equates to more homeless people resulting in more jobs available for responsible people who actually work and as a result will be paying more taxes and effectively pay for these programs.  The druggies are happy, the idiots are now working 2 and 3 jobs which they love to do, and the government is collecting oodles more tax.  It's a Win-Win-Win.   "Nothing like a feel good story to wrap things up" remarked a CNN co-host of unknown gender.

In response to resident Biden calling the Russian president Putin a killer, Vlad had these things to say.

The Russian leader pointed at the U.S. atomic bombing of Japan during World War II, as well as America’s past history of slaughtering Native Americans and slavery, arguing that the painful legacies weigh on the United States.

“Otherwise, where would the Black Lives Matter movement come from,” he said.

Recalling his childhood, Putin said that he and his friends would respond to insults with a rhyme saying “the names you call is what you are yourself.”  

Chloe the news presenter provided the following translation for those unable to read "What this means exactly" she stated "is that Putin is rubber and Mr Biden is glue so whatever Biden says bounces off Mr Putin and sticks to you [Mr Biden]."

In today's news we find that the Senate confirms Xavier Becerra as Head of HHS.  Xavier in acceptance remarks mentioned how he will be working very hard to get El Chapo out of prison and back to his recently funded drug cartel in Mexico.  Let's all wish Xavier and especially El Chapo lots of luck !

Speaking of the border, it is learned that the Biden Administration has replaced the entire Border Patrol Service with Sylvester the Cat.  We have obtained exclusive video of Sylvester on the job.  Wish him well folks, he has his work cut out for him.

Moving along we find that The Bachelor is being sued for demanding that the show's contestants have only female body parts.  It seems all the contestants are transgender according to new rules imposed by shows parent company.

Biden administration declares April as "National month for people who have sex with African raccoons in seedy motels".

Concentration Camps are now open all across the country as part of the Hotel California initiative.  Admission rate is $125,00 per month if you bring your own audio/video monitoring equipment or $175.00 per mo. if this will be provided to you.  These places are filling up fast folks ! Don't Delay !

Kim Jong un's brother's niece's aunt's cousin 3 times removed declares US will be victim of merciless attacks by N Korea if the US even looks sideways at the country.  The threat has been confirmed by local news correspondent Poing Poing Donk.

Closing out today's segment we have this selfie video sent in by one of our followers watching last night's CNN world news.  Have a great night all, see you when people do even more stupid stuff to report.


  1. A few months ago, I downloaded face recognition software from, so I was able to run Speedy through the database and sure enough, it’s an exact match with Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman. Well done, you investigative reporter par excellence. Running the same analysis on Ms. Guzman, however, I came up with a completely different ID ... it came out as a 98.9976358% match with Maxine Water’s left big toe. I haven’t checked with Jerry on this, but it seems as if something is seriously out of kilter ... either with my face recognition software, or with the Guzman DNA.

    As regards drugs, insanity, and homeless people, shall I remind that “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose?” Plus ... ever notice how homeless people don’t have to pay income or property taxes but they get to vote one or more times in every election? Where did we go wrong?

    I heard a rumor through our friend Ed. According to Ed – and he’s almost never wrong – Vladimir Putin is running for US Vice President in 2024; a running mate with Meghan Markle. Prince Harry will be the new first lady and Um ... I didn’t get this from Ed but just noticed it myself, it seems as if Vlad has been eyeballing Prince Harry. Could be an interesting four years coming up.

    Well, National African Racoon Sex Month put me in a good mood. Do those raccoons have a medical certificate? I don’t know about seedy hotel rooms, though. Do you have any recommendations?

    Okay, for all your smarter clientele ... if y'all want better accommodations in the concentration camps, you can buy an FEMA jumpsuit uniform online. They’re running a sale just now. Go for it. Personally, I have .357 reasons why I won’t buy one.

    Why is your cat watching CNN? Has every smither of discipline broken down in the Kid household?

    1. Mustang, Ms Guzman may or may not be a distant relative of Maxine's big toe. I'll run her sample of toe nail fungus I keep in a vial in my shirt pocket through my ancestry dna kit (also secured thru yorkadork) and let you know the findings.

  2. Mustang, I dunno how they caught El Chapo in the first place, he is awfully speedy and fits through very small tunnels. Maybe his wife gave him up. Ms Guzman's DNA profile is completely unknown. A cross between Jalapeno, fajita, Ukraine, and mouse.

    Well, Ed is as right as any of us. I would not discount those predictions. Not without a coupon code anyways.

    Given racoons, least of all African raccoons are involved, I suggest the Notel Motel outside of Newark, NJ. Use a disguise.

    Oh btw, your stay at the concentration camp is assured to be a Zero carbon existence.

    Hey man, that cat took the selfie video and sent it to me ananymousely and with unnamed sources. Looks genuine though.

  3. You are both NUTS. I like that :-)

  4. Kid, I wanna see the live poetry throwdown. Bets on? Ok, not fair, the Corpse won't even appear, but will the Oligarchs... hmmmm, futures option. But I won't call it. Too busy with the dam pup...

    1. Yes LSP, the corpse will only appear in doctored video.

      You know what they say about sleeping dogs !


  5. Where are all you democrats who bitched and complained that bitched, and Complained about the border situation when Trump was President? Where are you NOW?
    Doesn't anyone want to talk about that border mess noe that Biden it the “Commander in Chief?
    Your compassion for people who break the law to get here has suddenly changed didn’t it!
    You don’t, and won’t see any Celebrities, like Robert di Nero, Brad Pitt, Cameron Diaz, George Clooney, Ellen DeGenerit, or Leonardo DiCaprio, Alyssa Milano, Bruce Springsteen, Whoopi Goldberg, and Cher or those Dumbasses in Congress, like Nancy Pelosi, and Adam Shiff go to the border or even talk about what that Stuttering, Drooling Delusional Biden did........ All they wanted to do is to Bitch, and Moan, about Donald Trump. They sure aren't bitching about their Chinese Loving Buddy Biden!

    The Biden Administration are letting 500 PLUS kids into our borders EVERY DAY and without being tested, just STUFFING them into cages. The very same way that the LIBERALS were SO outraged about just a few years ago. Why NO OUTRAGE NOW?
    But don't worry. More are on the way. Once they were told that Biden is welcoming them, they will be pouring in here like a shit-storm.
    Maybe you should give those illegal’s your address and let them know they will be welcomed there? It would be interesting to see your compassion then!
    Is it because Biden is in office. Why ISN’T Biden not at the border? Trump went to the border several times and still he got crucified for it .. I can still remember when Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez did her FAKE photo shoot. Where’s AOC crying at an empty fence like she did when Trump was President?

    Alyssa Milano was outraged every day as well every damn liberal celebrity who lives behind high fences and has ARMED Security with them every day, everywhere that they go. . Americans can’t freely move around the USA without a Covid test or vaccines yet people from multiple countries are being caught and released throughout the country without being tested.. Why is this OK with the people who voted for Biden. If this was Trump you know damn well there would be NON stop coverage on it which that was already proven in 2018. Yet Biden has yet to do a press conference . His press secretary is a JOKE dances around questions that at this point are soft ball questions .And won’t answer the tough questions, just like her Boss.
    Not enforcing Trump's illegal policy of denying people with legitimate claims of asylum is not the same as "letting them in." Biden's rhetorical message has been the opposite.
    I don't care what color illegal’s are. White, yellow, black, orange or green. They are still in our country illegally and cost we tax payers billions, and effect our Schools, our Hospitals, and our Jobs!.

    They bombarded Trump’s press Secretaries Kayleigh, Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Sean Spicer / People with questions, shouting, and yelling, and being DISRESPECTFUL . But now they just let the people in the Democratic party have a pass. Explain this if you voted for Biden? People who are living in the border are finding people beheaded on their farms from people like MS 13 . you know when the press called Trump all kind of names for calling those people, savages, and animals .. Of course they did not specify that is who he was calling animals they worded it , it was ALL people coming across the borders but keep believing the media . Washington Post just this week has to retract a LIE they said for months after the Georgia election.

    And its going go get worse because the word is out Biden is going to let them IN . Catch and release ... Its not just migrants. They have caught people on the terrorist list Four people matching terror watch list arrested at U.S.-Mexico border We need to shut up our borders.
    And just yesterday that Moron in the White House called Putin a “KILLER”, that was really a cute way to speak about a prudential enemy! Any you were angry when Trump made friendly gestures to Kim Jong-Un, when he was trying to avoid a Nuclear War.

    1. DD, The dem voters don't care about any of the 'issues' they bring up. Ever. Don't care. These are just things they think other people care about and use them to try to get what they want.

  6. I think Sylvester should leave Speedy alone. Instead, send him over to whip Lindsey Graham's ass. Just a suggestion, of course -- but if you want me to continue donating humongous sums of money to the Kid Foreign Policy Association ... just say'in.

    Also, Jerry wanted me to ask you about the pay raise he was supposed to get last month. The stimulus check isn't enough, dude.

    1. Si SI Senor. We should get word to Sylvester right away !

      I got Jerry's check right here as soon as he provides his new address. My last mail to the igloo was returned an undeliverable.

    2. Border security should fall to The Three Amigos. As for the raise, my demands remain the same if Kid wants to keep me on retainer for the Diary. One pint of green apple pucker and a pack of backwoods smokes.

    3. All that stuff and more is on the way Hombre ! I give you 3 packs of smokes. Pucker hard to come by. Mustang must be hoarding it again.

    Biden fell 3 Times going up the Stairs to Air Force One, because they Inherited Broken Stairs from the Trump Administration!

  8. Replies

      The comparatives are surreal (and no doubt lost on the tards)

      DJT calls Jong Little Rocket Man, then walks into N Korea. Biden won't even do a broadcast zoom call. How could someone be a Biden fan.. The state of our world..


  9. It's amazing how a "man" who has been a Senator, a Vice President, and the President of the United States of America is too STUPID to have a meaningful diplomatic meeting with the people that want to bury us. But instead insults them. Just How Stupid Can We Be for electing that Moron?
    Those Idiots made Trump look like a GENIUS.

    Biden is Putting these Migrant Invaders into Hotels all over Texas, but having our National Grand sleeping on Concrete Floors.
    Biden is putting Thousands of These Migrant Invaders into a Texas Convention Center without ANY security outside to make sure that these people don’t walk out and enter the country carrying Covid and GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT ELSE, while our Capital Building has Barbed Wire Fences around it!

    1. PC, And he's (the dem commies) flying them to red states to pollute them.

  11. Sniffing Joe is not Creepy because of his "sexist" posts on twitter , but because he Sniffs women’s hair and he’s just “Creepy”

    1. PC, Joe is very creepy. At the very least he had to know how uncomfortable he made those young girls over the Years. Maybe a pass the first time but you don't keep doing it. Joe Bananas Biden is not a moral person.