The Future President Joe Biden Meets With Kim Jong Un...

JB: Geee Kim I didn't realize you were so fat.  Hey, no offense Friend. If you'd like to lose some weight just go on the Biden diet.  It's easy, just forget where the food is.  It has worked like a snake charmer for me.  Also, my wife, ... ah whatever her name is, hides everything from me. Including the silverware.  If I'm hungry, I'm usually out in the backyard shooting the shotgun into the air and biting some trees.  When I'm lucky I can catch a squirrel or chipmunk.  They're pretty friendly and will show me where they've hidden a nut or two.

Kim, you wouldn't have any spare nuts would you?  My wife took all the food off of Air Force One before I took off.  I found a personal pan pizza that was probably lunch for the pilots and ate that but it's not much to hold me over.

Kim: Joe, here's some grass that was left over from a miritary celebration parade.  Good stuff.  Enjoy.  If stirr hungly, I have weeds glowing out back.

JB: Kim, can you take me on a tour of the Comfort Women Facilities?  I like the girls really young btw. There's some real foreign aid at stake on this one if ya know what I mean fatso, er I mean friend. Yes Friend.  I can't imagine a Better Friend.  I'm rearry (I mean Really) sorry for how Donna Trump treated you when he came here - with his beautiful wife and big nuts.

Kim: Joe I understand your parents were kangaroos is that right? Or was it a kangaroo and llama love affair  as others in my intel community have suggested ?

JB: Yes Kim, No - both kangaroos. It is why my nickname was Hipitty Hop when I was a young fellow that the other kids loved feeling my hairy legs back then too.  When I wasn't hopping up and down anyway, elsewise they just looked at my handsome bod and no doubt fantasized about caressing it.

Kim:  Don't you think it is unfair that Amerlica has so many weapons and I don't have practicarry any?

JB: Now look Kim. Yes, it is. I've been saying for years now that two skips and a jump can make a chicken pot pie. I'll tell you what man, all those nuclear missiles we have scare me.  Scares the pants right off me.  Scares the crap out of me!  Can I send a bunch to you?

Kim: Of clourse.

JB: Ok man, I'll get those to you soon along with the launch codes.  Dang those things scare me.

JB: Now Kim you don't seem to have problems with racism, white privlege,  transphobia, climate emergencies, white nationalism, male toxicity, feminism, idiotic protests, etc Why is that Kim?

Kim: Well,it beclause we're not fleakin morons Joe. And we shoot anyone who acts like a fleakin moron. No more fleakin moron.

JB: Ah, Got Ya. I mean, not personally or anything. Like no offense eh.  Now, do you need some money? I mean we have money that just self-creates itself.  A hundred quadrillion billion million at bed time and when we wake up tomorrow it'll be 300 quadrillion billion million. It's like magic. Let me know what you need. I'll send my wife over.  Maybe my sister.  Well, it'll be somebody in a dress and wearing women's undies.  Might have a beard but just ignore that.

Kim: My people will be in touch with your idiots, er i mean people.  Prease come back soon.  Prenty of grass here for eating.

JB: Ok Friend.  Good First Meeting. Or date, or whatever it was we did here in New South Sales, Cambodia.