Sunday, March 29, 2020

In the News

  • President Trump signs executive order requiring all American citizens to purchase AR-15's, semi-automatic shotguns, and pistols with large capacity magazines, all with suppressors.   New buyers can immediately file for reimbursement according to terms in the recently drafted and signed Nana Pelosi sponsored Covid-19 protection act of 2020.
  • Disgraced former FOX news Trump basher, Shep Smith now holed up with recently released Bradly (Chelsea) Manning.  Both expected to be featured on the Ellen Show as "an item" as soon as quarantines are lifted.  Wedding registries are setup at luxury furniture maker IKEA  and Sex Toy distributor True Romance for the couple.  I've already committed to gifting this single set of wonderful set of black knobs which could also be used as butt plugs? - I'm guessing. The 2 pack was the lowest unit of measure I could purchase.  If someone could help me out with half of this gift, it would be appreciated...
  • Wild animals retake towns and villages as residents forced to stay indoors. Animals observed setting up BBQ grills and rubbing paws together while engaging in XXX sexual acts outside residents homes in show of domination not seen since Neanderthal times.  Hairy unwashed guys cheering as their "End is Near" prediction finally coming true.
  • EU Officials declare quarantine procedures will not be enforced among the moslem vermin military aged men asylum seekers and migrants cause it might make them angry.
  • Presidential hopeful Joe Biden Announces immediate cure for Covid-19, a Clean and Safe Power Supply for not only the Earth but the entire universe, the total elimination of the Climate Emergency, Complete removal of STD's and Acne,  free pills to eliminate all belly fat immediately overnight, free everything and in fact, including free lunches and free sex with anyone of any age upon the first day of his taking office.  Teen Vogue magazine Enthusiastically endorses his platform and begins taking in billions of federal aid of which 85% will be donated back to the democrat party for campaign purposes.
  • Joe Biden dodges all questions during town halls by answering all questions with stories about how young female body parts felt and smelled as he caressed and sniffed them during previous town halls he thought he may have attended.  He states that if you don't believe that you can Ask My Wife Joe Biden.  Gets very wispy and teary when remembering fondling the buttocks of one 13 yr old in the red dress during some Senate social event.  Video on youtube of course.
  • Military leadership holed up in previously assumed 100% secure nuclear secure bunkers such as Cheyenne Mountain nervous as reports of infiltration of these bunkers by transgenders who enlisted during the obama administration begin circulating.  Leadership begin nightly panty raids to flesh out the infiltrators. 
  • Media restart the Vietnam war in virtual reality to scare all people of draft age that they will likely be drafted over the next 4 years and sent to their deaths.
  • Donald Trump needs David Blaine on his PR team.
  • Donald Trump backs off Quarantine of New York in favor of recommending vacation travel to the area for all democrat voters.
  • Majority of former sports fans realize that as the sports industry is shut down they actually enjoy their more than ample free time not glued to a TV watching millionaires play with a ball while sportscasters get excited and scream about every boring thing that happens for three hours at a clip.
Maybe some more next week.  Things are happening fast. And loose.

39 comments :

  1. Dear Diary, This is the news (laughs) I can't get anywhere else. Thank you for your service, Kid.

    btw, is it large capacity "magazines" or is it large capacity "clips"? I ask because I have 15 large potato chip bag clips for all my assorted quarantine MREs. Follow up, are my chips reimburesable in the Pelosi act?

    as for the Shep/Manning gift registry, I've already ordered the black leather masks kit set. Just not sure how the bull whips help defeat the covid virus, but was on their wish list.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Mr Blade. And thank You. Magazine, Clips, Bullet Buttons, whatever gets Dianne Feinstein laid one last time eh, according to her anyway.

      Chips only matter if it causes a transgener voter to vote democrat.

      I predict that Bradley sends you his regards for the gift as part of his suicide note...

      Delete
  2. Well, since we're funding the Kennedy Center and other elite liberal venues, open them back up, along with Broadway venues and let the patrons sit very close to each other, sharing popcorn.
    They do eat popcorn there, right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No Ed, these idiots only eat caviar. The more expensive foul tasting stuff the better.

      Delete
    2. tthey do NOT eat popcorn there, Ed. in actual fact The Kennedy Center, despite its unfortunate name, is one of the very few bastions left in the putrid Cesspit that is The District of Columbia that still fosters and upholds the high cultural standards that separate civilized human beings from primitive savages and wild animals.

      Please let me remind everyone:

      Man Does Not Live By Bread Alone . . ."

      Delete
  3. President Trump Shows that Fear and Hate can be Overcome by Hope, Hard Work and Correct Information. This is a President that knows how to get the job done!
    I can’t imagine Joe Biden or ANY other Democrat doing this job with these kind of barriers. Joe Biden couldn’t even pronouncing the verbiage without stumbling 6 or 7 times. Biden need to rehearse his speech 25 times a day so that he could remember what State he's in or what Office he is running for.
    And Joe is getting worse day by day....look for Cuomo, and/or the Hildabeast to ride in on a White Horse....I can hear Hillary now coming out of the woods to save us....
    There is no way Democrats are stupid enough to put Joe Biden up against Trump

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am hearing Cuomo will be replacing Creepy Joe Biden.
    The same Cuomo that asked President Trump about his claim that New York has lots of ventilators in storage: And told the President "That is incorrect and grossly uninformed."

    And then, after he was caught lying, he said: “ Oh yes, we have ventilators in a stockpile, but we didn’t send them to the hospitals yet.”

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  5. Witty as usual, Kid, but a little too close to the TRUTH to be funny.

    I'd much rather hear about the successful attempt to kidnap Nana Pelousy, gag the bitch, and throw her withering naked body into a dank, dark dungeon to be starved, beaten and castigated for for two weeks, then dragged out to be TORTURED to DEATH in front of a live audience of cheering throngs.

    Better yet, to see Hillascunt CONVICTED in a court of law for all her many crimes, and sentenced to LIFE in SOLITARY CI}NFINEMENT in a windowless, cell foul with the stench of excrement accompanied bt rats, scorpions and tarantulas running loose on the cold stone floor at all hours of the day and night.

    Her screams and cries for mercy should be RECORDED for posterity and SOLD to her enemies. These discs would be destined to become valuable collectors items once she finally leaves this life and descends into Hell where she has always properly belonged.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "a little too close to the TRUTH to be funny"

      Imagine this is our world now Franco !

      Heh, I have even more dark consequences for creatures like the beast if you can imagine. In one scenario the beast shares a solitary confinement cell with jodie arias.... The other scenarios are way too dark for print.

      Delete

  6. ‘She’s a sick puppy’: Trump rips Pelosi after she criticizes his coronavirus response

    Washington Examiner

    by Caitlin Yilek

    President Trump tore into House Speaker Nancy Pelosi after she accused him of dragging his feet in the federal government’s response to the coronavirus pandemic.“It’s a sad thing. Look, she’s a sick puppy, in my opinion,” Trump told Fox & Friends on Monday. “She’s got a lot of problems. That’s a horrible thing to say.”Pelosi said Sunday that Trump’s denial about the seriousness of the virus “was deadly.”“The president, his denial at the beginning, was deadly. His delaying of getting equipment to where it — continues his delaying in getting equipment to where it's needed is deadly," the California Democrat told CNN. . . .

    Pelousy is far worse than a "sick puppy." The president is mch too gracious in saying that. That woman is nothi]ng more and nothng less than a GODDAM FUCKING BITCH.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Franco, I'd call nana peloisi pure satanic on a par with the beast.

      Delete
  7. You're in top form my precious kitteh pal. Like Franco - it's a bit too close to the truth - but still very funny.

    I'm headed out in a few hours to try the Costco run again. I'm asking God to keep me from coughing or (dear God - no) sneezing while out and about. I fear if someone chastises me I might lose my crackers and attack them and do great bodily damage before being dragged off their sorry ass. My fuse has burned down to a stub and I'm becoming dangerous.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh - and I'm also going into that Chinese hot bed known as Harbor Freight. I hear they're hosing down everyone when they leave. But, gosh darn, I need a set of Allen wrenches, a wire brush set, and a bunch of cheap cotton gloves for us to wear at night to protect my MyPillow sheets from all the bear grease smeared on our over-washed dry and cracking hands. The gloves will be thoroughly washed first.

      Delete
    2. You're becoming dangerous Adrienne? Be still my pounding heart !

      Thank you very much.

      So, Mad (as a part timer at Costco) is being given two weeks paid leave for being over 65 and vulnerable to all the H1-B's and others that shop there. What a great company to work for.

      Hosing everyone down? Allen wrenches? Wire Brushes? Cheap Cotton Gloves? MyPillow Sheets? Bear Grease? You've just teased me beyond submission now Adrienne. Have mercy ! I need to go lie down now.

      Delete
    3. I understand many of the demo ladies are being put in charge of cart cleaning and other stuff so they can continue getting a salary. Yes indeed - Costco is a great company!

      Delete
    4. Mad told me about that also Adrienne. Yes no slouches.

      Delete
  8. I never knew that it was now Patriotic to root for the destruction of America as the Lefties are doing these days!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tom, "Removal of the dead material will allow for new growth in the spring"

      -Chauncy Gardner, Being There.

      Delete
  9. NEW YORK POST

    Eight sex offenders including 3 child rapists released in NY Gov. Cuomo’s coronavirus jailbreak

    Eight sex offenders — three of which were convicted of raping children — have been released from a jail in New York as a part of Democratic Gov. Andrew Cuomo's statewide initiative to decrease prison populations over fear of spreading the coronavirus.

    WIVB-TV reported that more than 50 prisoners, including eight sex offenders, had been released from the Monroe County Jail over the weekend
    The report added that three of the sex offenders released are considered "most likely to re-offend" by the state:

    Chief of Police Patrick Phelan blasted the move, calling it nonsensical.

    "It doesn't make any sense. If you could present an argument to me that makes sense, I'm willing to listen. But this doesn't make any sense," Phelan said. "So you have a violent criminal who's done time in state prison who's been given the chance of parole, and not followed the conditions of their parole. That's who you're talking about right now."

    What's more is that Phelan said his department wasn't even notified by the state.

    "We weren't told by anyone," he said. "I think good practice would be if you're going to release convicted felons — some of them very violent some of those level 3 sex offenders you might want to give law enforcement the heads up."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some of these vermin have the evil knob on max.

      Delete
  10. New York City is famous for their Actors, Actresses, Mimes, Street, and Subway Performers, and other Nitwits such as Andrew Cuomo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blame the 'voters' DD. Then blame the voters parents.

      Delete
  11. I thought they were all SO FUNNY and then I laughed out loud "Donald Trump backs off Quarantine of New York in favor of recommending vacation travel to the area for all democrat voters."

    These are FABULOUS, KID...just great! You ought to send them to BabylonBee or something! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks so much Z ! Just doing my part asking nothing in return other than someone enjoys it. :)

    The Bee does a good job.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Here's what I don't understand: why DJT hasn't designated NYC as a federal prison. Biden can have the ritziest room in the most expensive hotel in Manhattan ... so long as he remains inside for the rest of his life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mustang, hang on a minute, Kitty wants to hold paws, hands whatever...... now she wants to discuss mouse hunting..... geesh - too early...............

      Ok - well, isn't NYC already a federal prison ? Ya work all day and pay all your earnings to the government leaving you with just enough money to buy toilet paper, you can't be armed and you have to vote democrat if you want to fit in with your cell mates. You're also the number 1 target of terrorists worldwide. The dudes in actual prisons probably have it better. Free room and board, maid service and no hard labor.



      Delete
  14. Replies
    1. Anon, I believe the biggest deception on the world so far is the climate scam. They've been trying that one for decades now but they finally have enough people dumbed down to the point of believing that BS.

      Anyway, thanks for the link but as they said in "Apollo 13" about the potential damage to the heat shield "Can they do anything about it? No. Then why bring it up".

      Delete
  15. you believe in surrendering?

    ReplyDelete
  16. I did not mean to say that.
    I was hurrying for work. And took your response the wrong way.
    The vid is a summery of what is about to take place: NEW Currency,
    complete Gov Control. The 5g breaks down our immune system in those who are already
    having health problems, those who are healthy have a less chance of problems with the virus.
    Here in Houston there are no 5g signals. Not that many cases - but more in Dallas where there
    is 5g. Seattle Washington, New York, New Orleans, and other big cities that have rolled out 5g.
    Wohun China is where the first rollout of 5g, and bad food sources started the out break.
    Infected Chinese Agents probable did not come to Houston sense no 5g Here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon, yea, I'm a bit concerned about 5G. I don't actually believe this or that about it. Yet.
      I've had thoughts, especially since obammycare, that some significant part of the government has given up hope of maintaining the American way of life given all of us boomers about the put the hurt on a sosial security and medicare system that has been used and abused back to the stone age. The government is likely being pretty much run by organized crime who could care less about the lives of us dirt people and so rather then put in the extra effort to solve these problems, they simply find and deploy indirect was of letting the problem solve itself through attrition of the population. Every man for himself. Same as it ever was?

      Delete
  17. "Can they do anything about it? No. Then why bring it up".
    That is most likely what was said about the British in 1775. But we who have this Country
    in our Hearts, do want to bring it up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon - At my age. I've come to discover that in the end I have my one vote during elections and maybe a slight influence to deploy to people around me and possibly my blog and that's about it. I have mostly purged speculation from my life as I find that giving too much attention to speculation is a waste of energy. I keep some of that on the back burner but at a distance. Practical example: The talking heads have been telling us about how various people have committed crimes and will go to jail: clinton, comey, brennen, clapper, lois lerner, big list. I say wake me up when someone actually gets indicted. Does it piss me off? Sure, but I intend to use my thought processes for things more useful to me and mine directly.

      Outside of that give me something to aim at. I'll do my part if the target is something tangible.

      Delete
    2. PS, the armament between the British government/army and the revolutionaries was somewhat on balance. Muskets, cannons, gunpowder, sailing ships.

      Not so today. The police have military grade weapons. The government have nuclear subs. The cops or the Natl guard come rolling down your street in an MRAP with a mini-gun, what are you going to do exactly?

      Delete
  18. Back in the 1990's (96-99)
    I was talking to the young guys about stuff coming their way.
    Guns came up. I said, they want to take ours guns, if we need guns
    we'll take theirs.
    Later maybe a few weeks, we were all there again with a few of their friends
    that weren't there before. The topic came up again with the young guys talking
    (I didn't say a word and just listened)and one said, they take our guns- we'll
    just take theirs.
    Hahaha you could hear a pin drop.

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    Replies
    1. Yea, well our guns are not to protect us from government. That ship has sailed. They are to protect us form the vermin running the streets. Imagine people are willing to try a home invasion where they have no idea if the residents are armed or not. ?

      Imagine if the vermin feel sure the residents are Not armed.

      If you're not Bruce Lee, Imagine a couple thugs come busting through your door with knives and baseball bats. What you gonna do? Hey guys, hang on while I talk to a 911 operator and get some cops to show up here after some number of minutes minimum.

      How do avoid being raped and killed by these vermin? You don't. Plus these vermin don't even care if they get caught! They've been to the big house and they know they'll be there again. They're going to have some fun before they go back !

      Delete