After attempting and failing to commit suicide, Bradley (aka:Chelsea) Manning has joined Joe Biden's campaign as the LGBTQ liaison officer in charge of wooing Pete Buttcrack's voting block to the Dementia candidate as well as the LGBTQ Trans community members.
Bradley's campaign message is "For Pete's (or Patty's) sake don't commit suicide before you vote on Nov 3, 2020 ! We need you. (Ok, how many of you lovely people over the age of 50 saw that coming when you were living and thought most of the outside world was normal?)
Democrat house writes bill requiring all Republicans to be forcibly injected with the Corona Virus in order to test placebo vaccine
China threatens to put Corona Virus into all medications it sends to the USA. In addition, it will carpet bomb the USA with fleas infected with Bubonic plague and other plagues. Democrats cheer
Adam Schiff attempts to rape Melania Trump - She knocks him out cold with a spare pair of undies
Democrats complain about non-Corona virus stuff in Corona virus response bill, like Payroll Tax Cuts, while padding it with things like Abortion Funding, Mandatory Taxpayer Funded Gender Reassignment Surgery, and Jail Time for parents who resist having their children receive gender reassignment surgery down to the age of 3
Unable to control themselves, Nana Pelosi and Chuck Schumer have sex on the congressional floor of the capitol building. GOP members vomit and run out of the building en mass. Chuck screams "We did it !"
Joe Biden vows to ban Knives, Rocks, and Sharp Sticks all across America - Vows to write Executive Order on day 1 for All of America to "Hey Man - Play Nice". Writes 2nd executive order declaring dementia as a National Emergency.
President Donald J Trump makes Nancy Pelosi tear up and eat every scrap of her bill to protect Iran from US military action on Live TV. Americans give standing ovation and call for more such actions
Mexican Cartels now smuggling toilet paper, hand sanitizer, canned goods, baby wipes, and thermometers across the border
American government devastated by Corona Virus replaced by Americans vowing to govern For the People. AOC obtains illegal AR-15 and illegal capacity magazines - busts in and mows them all down.
100% of Scientists agree the best thing for the Earth is a planet destroying asteroid - draw up plans for selecting one or more of them from the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter and directing them to the Earth.
Pornhub offers free premium service to everyone who can prove they voted for Bernie.
USA returns to moon. Astronauts declare "Yea, still a big rock covered in moon dust".
Latest: All children in the USA to receive gender reassignment surgery. No exceptions.
Apparently he was serious because David Blaine did get the F out of his house.
AOC admits to being a trans gendered Justin Bieber, gets major support from millenials and Gen-Zers.
Mr Blade goes on cruise, discovers cure for Coronavirus. Gives it to world for free. Democrats Pissed. China too.
Watch your back DaBlade.
You watch ... Chelbrad is going to run for the presidency as a Democrat. Mark my words. Its campaign slogan will be “There is no dick too small.” Hmmm. Sharp sticks. You mean, no more pencils? How can he write an executive order without pencils? What a dope. And umm, aren’t Pelosi and Schumer the same sex? Oh, wait. Never mind. They’re Democrats.
ReplyDeleteMustang, Pelosi and Schumer ARE the same sex - Diseased Rats ! That's why the line works.
DeleteMustang PS - Biden plans to use crayons and play-doh for all official signings and events.
DeleteIn fact, the 3rd EO will be to remove all pens and pencils from the USA and replace them with 64 color boxes of crayons. The kids are gonna love it. Free play-doh in the dorms, as much as they want.
Yea, same sex doesn't matter and is actually preferred in government these days.
KID AT HIS BEST!!! EXcellent! Sickening, too true, but excellent :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you Mademoiselle Z ! Have a great weekend. Our government is doing some impressive things to deal with the virus imo. I shudder to think what the communists would be doing. Or Not doing actually.
DeleteLOL! As of now, I'm going to have to paddle from atop a floating mirror if I'm to go.
ReplyDeleteMr Blade, let me know if you need help with funding that mirror. Well, no cruises for 30 days at least. Isolation is the only way to shut this down. I'm glad we're not waiting until we HAD to do it. Still plenty of kids will be running around spreading it as carriers, some of them doing it intentionally to knock off us old capitalists.
DeleteYou've OUTDONE yourself, Kid. This is the best "News Roundup" you've "reported' yet.
ReplyDeleteGeat satire is alway closely related to absurd TRUTHS and that's why we get such a kick out of your creative efforts.
Would you mnd if I lifted this and featured it at MY blog –– giving you full credit, of course?
Your talent dserves a wider audience.
Thanks so much Franco ! None of my meanderings are copyrighted so have at it sir. Danke.
DeleteYou'e very generus, Kid. Thanks.
DeleteI have to say I was shocked at Harrison Ford's appearance. I could hardly recognize him. How did his NOSE get so incredibly L_A_R_G_E_?
ReplyDeleteHe and I are the same age, and frankly he looks every bit as bad as I do, even though I was never anywhere near as good looking as he wthen when were still young men.
Time can be very unkind, can't it?
Franco, as men, our legs get shorter and our noses and ears grow larger. This is because our center of gravity needs to be lowered but we need to be able to smell and hear the communit vermin coming.
Delete};^)>
DeleteAre your sure it's our LEGS that get shorter, Kid?
It feels like mehing worse to me. ]:^(>
Well I had a 32 inch inseam which is now 28.
DeleteFFS. Bradley's back. Will the torture never stop?
ReplyDeleteThe torture Never Stops LSP
DeleteBut Kid, Zut Alors!
DeleteZoot etc.
DeleteLSP, Some interesting tunes on that album LSP.
DeleteHere's an earlier one that is Spot On imo. The Slime
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DeleteDeleted by mistake Black Napkins
Delete