Tuesday, February 4, 2020

In The News

Scientists discover Jerry Nadler is actually Rosie O'Donnell with an alien skin outer layer.

Scientists discover Stress is only a problem for people who believe stress is a problem (real one)

Next years super bowl half time show to feature homeless people from San Fran shooting up and crapping on the stage followed by a homosexual only live sex show.

Mike Bloomberg pays 8 million for ad that states he has larger hands than Donald J Trump.

Greta wins Nobel peace prize (gonna happen)

Michael Obama wins Grammy for reading a book !  I predicted it in the last 'in the news'.

Virginia Governor Ralph Northam gets recalled and goes on kindergarten shooting spree using AR-15 with 30 round mags.

California Governor Newsom gets recalled and replaced by a bigger POS.

At latest rally, Joe Biden loses it and screams "Hunter is a crack whore, and I'm a pedophile ! These are the principles America was founded upon !"

At next debate Amy Klobachur declares "Look How Ugly I Am ! How can you Not Vote for Me !?"

FOXs' Chris Wallace warns America is in big trouble if the most violent criminals are not released immediately after arrest without bail.

California Governor Newsom declares open season on White People before leaving office.  Offers $50 bounty on White males. $25 for females since "they they just ain't worth as much".  Also offers $1000 reward for people who can prove they started fires within the state - $2000 bounty for people who can prove they poisoned the water supply.

Japan perfects female and male sex robots - Feminists, trannies, and man-bun dudes go ape. Sexual tension drives them to jump into volcanoes naked.  Volcanoes are not happy, seek class action lawsuits against the liberal democrats.

Scientists declare "soon to occur new ice age". Climate freaks now sleeping with half of body in freezer, other half in oven.  Sane people cheering them on.
State of the Union Rebuttal to be given by batshit crazies Bob DeNiro, Mikey Moore and Jimmy Carrey with post analysis by Kathy Griffin and Hanoi Jane.
Greta Thunberg Nominated for Post events Grammy and Oscar. 
At State of the Union Address, President Donald J Trump turns backward, smiles and gives Nana Pelosi the finger 17 times.

Mayor Pete Buttcrack promises free tampons with instruction data sheets for men if elected.

Adam Schiff warns that President Trump will give Alaska to Russia in return for election help he doesn't need.
President corrects him and explains how he will give California to Russia and possibly Washington State and Oregon as well.  We will keep Southern California to guard the border and retain Camp Pendleton.

After Donald Trump wins re-election in 2020, Millennials go on scooter and skateboard attacks on people with conceal carry licenses like the moslem vermin do with cars and trucks.  It doesn't turn out well for the little darlings.
School children now being given "mental health days" just like "snow days" because school is just so darn stressful. (This part is real).  In addition, school children also being given off days because they wanted to sleep in or to go to the ice cream parlor or heck, just wanted to meet up with friends and color in coloring books and do magic with play-doh.  Graduation is guaranteed.

No doubt there will be more after the President's SOTU in a couple hours.  It's getting crazy out there !


  1. More believable than the Babylon Bee!

  2. I'm usually pretty on target Ed. Regrettably.

  3. Totally believable ... but you're in deep trouble with Z now ... LOL

    1. Mustang, I'm always in trouble with Z, (And I like it)

    2. I love you guys! I HATE NEWSOM, so you're in NO trouble with me, if that's what Mustang's talking about :-)
      "California Governor Newsom gets recalled and replaced by a bigger POS." Still laughing!!
      These are FABULOUS, Kid.

  4. Oh, wait! You like it if you're in trouble with me...so I'm sorry I said anything NICE :-)

    1. I was only kidding about you being mad anyway Z ! Forgive Me. A Thousand Padrons.

  5. Lol. Glad to see the Super Bowl will be taking the halftime show down a notch. Also, why does Amy Klobachur smellizing like polyester, hairspray, skunky marijuana smoke, and stale B.O.?

    1. Mr Blade, that's exactly what odors come to mind when I trip over a pic of Amy on the net.

  6. Looks to me you didn't leave anything out Kid.... terrific... :)

  7. Another work of satirical genius from KID, our Patron Saint of Political Black Comedy.


    Rx for Healhy Recreatioon

    Hey! Let's go to Frisco
    ___ and shit in the street
    That's a glorious treat
    ___ it'll be hard to beat.
    Imagine the joy
    ___ of painting the town
    In hundreds of shades
    ___ of fragrant shit brown!
    Let's go to Pelosi's
    ___ and scale her damned wall
    Break into her mansion
    ___ and shit in her hall
    Then move to the living room;
    ___fill it wth poo
    And on to the dining room;
    ___ muck it up too.
    When you're fixin' to leave
    ___ don'r forget to drop poop
    ___ all over her stoop.
    And If you could manage
    ___ to shit in her bed
    Try to spread it around
    ___ so she can't rest her head.
    Make that bitch live in shit,
    ___ so she knows how it is
    To be smothered in feces
    ___ watching guys take a whiz!

    ~ Putrida Abandonata de la Strada