Sunday, May 3, 2020

Well, Slow News Day

Strip Monopoly now hottest game in Asia.  Pass Go, collect piece of clothing from another chosen player.  "Get out of Jail Free" cards replaced with "Get piece of underwear from opposing player" cards.  "Bank Error In Your Favor"  replaced with "Kill a Democrat for Free" cards.

mohammed mohammed ali mohammed el-Tikriti claims you cannot put lipstick on a greased pig.  Telephone operators also claim it is impossible to locate correct phone number for anyone named mohammed anything.

US to cut 87% of job roles.   Stock Market set for huge Monday Rally.  Displaced workers guaranteed unemployment benefits, democrats standing in way of millions of payments.  Suicide Hotline Heating Up. (Real One).  Operators standing by.

Chicago Mayor to arrest anyone violating stay at home orders.  Everyone hits streets in defiance.  After jails full, cops forced to house offenders in 5 star hotels and provide gourmet food delivery service.

Joe Biden strips 13 year old girl completely naked on special episode of "The View".  Hosts cheer !  Joy Behar calls for more pre-teen volunteers from audience noting Joe Biden not satisfied with less than 316 girls to molest, averages 6 every five minutes.  Gets permission to extend show broadcast.

North and South Korean troops in Heated Games of Tic Tac Toe.


Maria Bartiromo ask lip service specialist Lindsey Graham (On Fox News Segment) why he's made threats against clear federal criminals for 3 years but hasn't done shit about shinola other than flap his trap.  Lindsey has hard time answering.  (I didn't watch the vid.)  I hear he just made more idle threats against the media now.  Claims his boyfriend won't let him do anything useful.

Kitty Cats getting more aggressive against the government tyranny.  CDC reports Calico's and Orange Tabby's most deadly.
CNN Analysts claim Biden should pick ugliest and rudest female available for VP partner.  They're right.

Mustang selects Z as choice to join in quarantine release.  Mrs Mustang already pre-selected.  Unclear if Z will need to travel to Mustang's palacios estate in undisclosed location.






19 comments :

  1. Kitty Cats getting more aggressive against the government tyranny. CDC reports Calico's and Orange Tabby's most deadly.

    Uh-oh - I'm in big trouble. Erica kitteh is a calico.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unless you are a tyrannical governor, you are safe. Especially if it you that feeds the little fluffy beast.

      Delete
  2. Mustang did pick me? Only because I asked on the last post! I'll believe it when I see it..Of course Mrs. Mustang is pre-selected!! I'm not traveling. :-)

    Great list, again, Kid!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sadly, Mustang may have to reverse course and select someone willing to travel Z.

      Delete
  3. Loved it... right on target with our boy Lindsey.... Maria is getting a reputation. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Biden should pick ugliest and rudest female... If not Stacey Abrams, maybe Hildebeast or Mooch. joy Behar. Whoopi? Any of the squad. Gloria Steihem. Lena Dunham. Beyonce. Mikey Moore... so many to choose from. Can't he just have a different 13-year-old girl every day>?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DaBlade, Biden does have a different 13 year old girl every day. Many in fact.

      How about Mikey Moore as a transgender.

      Delete
  5. Where to begin ...

    Z and I have been internet friends for a long time, and while I might have selected her to accompany my bride and I in the early-release program, there is a matter that prohibits me from doing so. Several years ago, I asked Z for a Porsche 911 for my birthday. I didn’t get it. She claimed that she sent it via FedEx, but they told me they had no record of the shipment. So, no ... Z must remain in quarantine until I do receive it.

    There is a long list of things that I could say about Joe Biden’s bid for the presidency, but common decency and respect for Kid’s most excellent blog prohibits me from doing so. Suffice to say that everyone on the left is whacked, so it probably doesn’t matter who Joe selects as his VP running mate. If I had to bet money on who it might be, I’d probably go with Kirsten Gillibrand, who I’m told likes to dress up in modified SS uniforms and is quite adept at using a riding crop to get what she wants from fellow Democrat politicians. I have no first-hand knowledge of these episodes of Joe and Kirsten in private settings, of course, but that’s what I heard. Besides, Joe only uses black Americans as useful simpletons on voting day, so Stacy Abrams is off the list. I ... um ... understand that Lindsey likes Kirsten too, and who knows where this will lead us in the future.

    As to Mohammed Mohammed Mohammed, I think we all know why Moslems wrap their women in black balaclava masks. We must remember this, though ... while true that beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes all the way to the bone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Besides, Joe only uses black Americans as useful simpletons on voting day, so Stacy Abrams is off the list."
      On the list of things I wish I'd said.

      Delete
    2. All democrats have ever done Ed. Malcolm X had it figured out. Maybe why they killed him?

      Delete
  6. You make a good case against select Z mustang. I haven't gotten my car either, a candy apple red Bentley with light brown leather interior with young women in the back sporting short skirts and smoking lucky strikes.

    I sure don't want to know anything about Gillibrand and Joe's sexual escapades. I gotta sleep sometime.

    I'd say most ME women need to be covered up.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I don't know Z very well, but do you think I could my name on that list for new cars? Alpha Romeo would be okay. Gun metal blue, tan leather seats. Four tires, please. And steering wheel.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fagitaboutit ... she tells fibs.

      Delete
    2. Sam, I've tried to annoint Ms Z with the power to produce cars but it just hasn't come together yet. I still try to make her dreams come true.

      Delete
    3. And Mustang is just another one of her butthurt former lovers cast aside on a whim.

      Delete
  8. Put on your facemark, and make it snappy
    Ya gotta filter them germs away
    Carry your hand spray, to make cops happy
    Disinfect and avoid Death today

    We're headin' 'cross the river
    Killing Covid on the ride
    You can't have Wuflu
    On the Other Side

    So don your facemark, and make it snappy
    Ya gotta filter them germs away
    Carry your hand spray, to make cops happy
    Disinfect and avoid Death today

    Time is a wastin,’ so make it snappy
    Doc Fauci's eager to take your hand
    Lead you to Exile where life feels crappy
    He wants to keep you tfrom he Promised Land

    We're headin' 'cross the river
    Killing Covid on the ride
    You can't have Wuflu
    On the Other Side.

    So don your facemark, and make it snappy
    Ya gotta filter them germs away
    Carry your hand spray, to make cops happy
    Disinfect and avoid Death today


    ~ Harold Arlen (brutally adapted)

    ReplyDelete
  9. "Joe Biden strips 13 year old girl completely naked on special episode of "The View". Hosts cheer !"

    NICE.

    ReplyDelete