Attention Sunni's, Shi-Ites, and Whabbis ! A Once in a Lifetime Opportunity.
A rare mineral has been found on Mars. It is the grey stuff on this ant hill. It is worth 237,846,925 times more than GOLD! A Single Ounce of this stuff will buy you 654,298 submissive virgins. No lie. And any defective virgins can be traded in for goats with big brown eyes and extra pocket wool in the gift shop. No lie. Just over this hill is a restaurant serving the most incredible halal food items and is offering the most incredible belly dancing whores.
Book your flight today and collect your booty. GPS coordinates provided at no additional cost. Bring a 2nd Mohammedan at no charge, just add shipping and handling. No prepayment required. No credit rating required. No transgender status update required. Nothing is required. Just hop on the bus Gus.
All is Mohammed Triple Guaranteed. Seats are Limited ! Book Yours Right Now. Don't Miss out !
That's not avant pile to me kid ...I'm hoping it's a a dust bowl of piled high debris from Mecca and the "holy" rock they're fixated on?
ReplyDeleteIMP, Well, it is all misdirection. What we do is put them on a spaceship, swing around the Earth a few times and land them on the nuclear destroyed Mecca where they are free to collect geological items and massive amounts of fallout.
DeleteUnknown? That's me I think?
ReplyDeleteThe Amazing thing about Mohammedans is that they don’t have a sense of history. Whatever occurred 3,000 years ago may as well have been only five minutes. So, the fact that this vacation spot is somewhere around 5-billion years old really doesn’t matter; you can still advertise it as “The New Mecca” where there are hot and cold running virgins, self-explosions on the hour, and live, on-stage camel sex. What you must avoid is any suggestion that there are other planets in our solar system, since orthodox Mohammedans don’t believe that shit, so I think the picture works great because New Mecca could easily be any place in the Middle East. Also, don’t mention that the moon isn’t a glob of bleu cheese. Other than these suggestions, I think you are on-track to make some serious money and I hope you have me down for a percentage. Um ... I think I should get a larger percentage than your other commenter, Mr. Unknown.
ReplyDeleteMustang. Excellent suggestions. I have updated our travel brochures to include XXX rated camel and goat pictures as well as to include the fact that mohammed himself will be on site to welcome them into their new paradise.
DeleteIn appreciation I have increased your percentage of the take and have dispatched miss Kitty Valentine to deliver the new contract to you. She was very excited to have the opportunity to see you again. What's that all about? Anyway...
Mr. Mustang...after I finish wiping the tears of hysterical laughter from my eyes....I'll wager an arm wrestling session will settle the issue of ownership and the rightful contractual percentage that I am entitled to.
DeleteAs a Native born citizen with 2% of my tested DNA being attributed to the Esteemed Fearless Northern tribe known as "Big hair up your mules ass caught when dancing with a male wolverine on a nights full moon in the holy month of Crack-o-ember". Will now be shortened for marketing purposes by our new leaders PR team and a most honorable tribal leader... Elizabeth "Pocahontas Lizzy" Warren... we are now GBHOYA of Nevada. We are citizens sir and demand our entitlements. Thank you citizen Mustang sir ( is that really your name? It doesn't seem long enough to express your real inner self sir )....We shall settle this on the battle field near Gettysburg then. Please bring both of your arms and water for what will be a long sweaty very exhausting , only real men session. LBGTROQC's not allowed.
IMP, You have impressed me with this latest challenge and logical rundown of our current SITREP. I have directed Kitty Valentine to you location as son as she is done with Mustang to renegotiate terms of your royalty in this endeavour. I've instructed her to be gentle with you.
DeleteTHANK YOU...You have no other choice but to concede to my ancient long ago, sent to an obsidian, moonless sky as powerful spirits of destruction while leaving me alone with a clear advantages over my nearest fraudulent rival with a mere and insignificant 0.0000001% of her lineage to her teepee landlords. You and Mr.Mustang have saved yourselves form a clear and ultimately embarrassing defeat. One more time you have proven to the gods how truly wise you are since your pants are showing your ass crack as a viable target..
DeleteIMP, When you are in the entertainment business such as I am, you have to try to appeal to every possible fan. Wait until you see me dancing on the Ellen show in my fishnet stockings and other lingerie.. It wasn't easy for someone with such big nuts as me to pull off. I needed a body slimming panty. It was painful.
DeleteWOW thanks all-= I REALLY needed the LOL LOL ROF LOL today :-)
ReplyDeleteC-CS, Glad you enjoyed :)
DeleteWhatever flight they take, I hope it's a one-way ticket!!!
ReplyDeleteZ, Oh it's definitely one way. They wouldn't have it any other way with the number of hot and cold virgins they will find there. (Well, Mustang let That cat out of the bag)
DeleteNow that's false advertising Kid. That's no anthill, but the remains of Mohammad's tomb in Mecca following a brief Tete-a-tete with a Made in the USA MOAB!
ReplyDeleteRon, I can't get anything by you these days. Keep it on the down low though lest the lowbrow vermin get a clue thing-a-ma-bob.
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