Guest Post From the Unknown Field Agent

1. The American people didn’t invent motorized vehicles, but the government thought they’d be a neat idea as part of the military’s arsenal, and to inspire private companies to produce them en mass, encouraged the American people to purchase them in the millions.  So we should all be thankful for a government that, on the one hand, encourages us to purchase them, and use them, while at the same time punishes us in the form of gasoline taxes to operate them, and make us feel guilty for creating global warming by doing so.  And, um ... also feel guilty about not having much interest in electrical cars.

 

2. We should also be thankful for a government that encourages us to have a healthy diet, while at the same time complains about the additional methane healthy foods create, such as “heart healthy grain cereals,” which exacerbates the global warming problem government created.

 

3. We should be thankful for a government that first spends the taxpayer’s money for viral research, from labs located in a country that seeks the downfall of our country, produces a virus, sends it throughout the world to infect us, and then demands that everyone get inoculated “to save us” from the virus they helped create.

 

4. We ought to give thanks for a government that devises policies that creates high unemployment, and then adopts other policies that encourages illegal immigration and opens the doors to tens-of-thousands of refugees of cultures who seek to kills us, which then makes it more difficult to find work ... for Americans.

 

5. Let’s also give thanks for a government whose policies transforms our society from one of E Pluibus Unum to “it’s all Whitey’s fault.”

 

6. We need to appreciate a government that first “allows us” to have an internet, and then tries to use it to keep us from speaking our mind on it.

 

7. It would be nice to show appreciation to a government that first creates a national drug addiction problem and then makes tons of money from the backs of taxpayers paying for its after-effects — all in the spirit of making our lives better.

 

8. All of us should be grateful to a government that gets our country involved in very expensive wars that it never intends to win, and for the policies that make other people around the world hate our guts, so that we all have to stand in longer lines at the airport to make sure that none of us are wrapping ourselves in explosives before getting on planes.

 

I’m sure we could find a few “New Year’s Resolutions” in the foregoing, if we put our minds to it ... but that’s for another time.