Thursday, April 22, 2021

Can You Make Up News Like This ?

The year 2026 - Maxine Waters in prison and has undergone gender transition to male (I know hard to tell) and here she is at her parole hearing describing what she will do if released.


Duuude ! The seas have fallen, not risen.  Past and present Harbour of Ancient and present day Rome.  LINK



Kitty wants me to keep working from home.  purrpurrpurrrrrrrrrr


Stanford study concludes facemasks are absolutely useless against the pink death - Covid


I dunno, Commander Charles Richard looks serious when he warns of the potential Nuklar Threat.  $4.6 billion federal study concludes Duck and Cover best defense against potential upcoming nuclear bomb attacks.


In 20 minute interview with Kamala Harris, she just laughs hysterically at each question providing no answer, occasionally screaming "I'M THE VP!"


California imprisons Smokey the Bear. Claims Smokey constantly getting people paranoid with hyperbole regarding friendly fires being health and safety hazards. Students at Berkeley chant "Smokey the Liar!" over and over.

White House flies flag at half staff as Afghanistan officials declare "America kicked our butts. They beat us fair and square. We bow down to America.  We are not worthy.  We are devastated to see them go."


Facebook now requires monthly fee of $50 per user to be paid in advance.  Furious users relay horror stories about how their kids will have to go on food rationing to pay for it.
Crying woman talking about how she may have to turn to prostitution.  "What else Can I do!?" she cries.



Kamala Harris gets new drivers license specifying "X" designation for gender.  Later says she was confused and thought it meant how someone might find her lying in bed at any given moment.


Moon declared racist.  "It's white and it ryhmes with 'coon'" screams Al Sharpton.


Rappers, young and old, professional or amatuer set to replace all federal circuit court judges.  First order of business will be to replace all court employees with scantily clad exotic dancers

Meghan McCain demands disgraced dad be cloned and brought back to life to serve in Congress so we can "Take This Country Back".


Biden begins 2020 presidential campaign.  White House spokesperson says 'Aw just let him do what he wants. We think it's kinda cute actually."


New Jeopardy host declares all answers must be given in Jive.  All contestants stymied.  All scores are in negative numbers at conclusion of show.  Or in Jive "All Sc'ors bitch ugly my brother".

"Booogada Booogada Booogada" declared valid answer to any College SAT question starting in the 2021-22 admissions testing period.


Biden writes executive order to Annex China into the USA.  Experts think it may be the other way around.


Yes, Of Course - CO2 causes racism


6 comments :

  1. And that's why I dropped paper delivery. I get my news here.

    ReplyDelete


  2. You prompted me to do some additional research about rising water levels. What I found was some fellows shouting, “Oh yeah?” And other fellows screaming, “Oh yeah?” So at this point, I have no clue. Inasmuch as I now live on golden pond, I won’t worry about it.

    Commander Charles Richard (apparently in disguise in this blog), is actually Admiral (4-star) Charles Richard, Commander, U. S. Strategic Command. He may sue the blog owner for demoting him six grades without congressional authority, or he may also challenge the blog owner to a duel at a time and place and with the weapons to be agreed upon. On a separate note, I have found duck and cover to be a very good defense. Ever try to take cover under a duck?

    You watched her for twenty minutes? Seriously? Put Mad on the line, please. I need a few words with her.

    Smokey the Bear had it coming, IMO. Ever since he left Boo Boo in a lurch with Yogi, nobody cares what happens to Smokey.

    Sir, face masks are very useful in robbing banks — which is also a risk of death (hence, a death mask), unless the robbery takes place in a city that has defunded its police department. Anyway, Stanford University is where Tiger Woods went to college — you know, they guy that just drove his car off a highway in daylight and previously ran his Escalade into a wrought iron gate.

    I am glad to see that Afghanistan has finally admitted to an ass kicking, although you know me by now; we should have been able to do that in about 30 minutes at a cost of no more than $130 trillion.

    I don’t know what face book is. What does it have to do with prostitution? Is this another one of your outcall service schemes?

    “White House orders ...” Dude, this is NOT news.

    “Moon declared racist.” LOL ... you got it, bruddah.

    Don’t worry about Meghan. Navy regulations (paragraph 120421.7a) require that once a former disgraced aviator is planted, that’s it. No cloning allowed.

    Prediction: there is no way Biden can win the 2020 election. You can take THAT to the bank.

    Annex of China ... President Xi is laughing his ass off.

    Good recap today, Kid. I just hope the Biden White House never finds out about what you’re up to. I won’t say anything, of course, but ... well, Jerry is still pissed off and you know what that means.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mustang, Apparently "Commander Charles Richard" is how he introduces himself in gay clubs. This comes from Mayor DeBlasio so maybe not true.

      Agree on Smokey.
      Glad to hear McCain isn't coming back.

      Jerry is actually my anonymous source. Don't tell him.

      Thank You Sir.

      Delete
  3. Speaking of John McCain... has his traveling casket road show ended yet? Last I saw it was headed West...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bunk, I have to confess, I lost track of that one myself.

      Delete