Monday, May 24, 2021

UFOs

So now that the Covid thing is dying out as a primary focus, the government needs to fixate the population on another threat.  I think it's going to be UFOs.

Marco Rubio has yapped about UFOs visiting our military bases and even using our 30 trillion national debt we can't get a clear photo of their crafts or know where the heck they are coming from.  I mean, we can track the exact location of that socket set the female astronaut let loose in space on a spacewalk but we can't get a bearing on large moving objects moving toward the planet or entering our atmosphere...

DHS or one of those evil federal agencies is also yapping about UFOs now too. 

Alien technology is so far advanced than ours, obviously they can demand anything of us and we must comply !

What do you think the government is going to propose as the actual threat posed by the aliens?

Some thoughts:

  • aliens have chosen: Russia, China, Paraguay, Puerto Rico, Iceland, the democrats(!) to lead the planet forward
  • aliens have said global warming is now affecting deep space and we must now fill in the blanks, cross our Ts, dot our Is and watch our Ps ad Qs or they will do it for us
  • Aliens say rap music is making it out to their planet and is driving them nuts and we need to turn that shit off
  • aliens need to mate with humans to preserve the diversity of their DNA.  Well, I hope they look something like this.



And hopefully their females find middle age and older males that need to lose a few pounds irresistible. Hey, if I must do my part to save the planet !

Then again, maybe it'll be something good for everyone.

What would you like the demands of the aliens to be?

15 comments :

  1. Kid, I know, the UFO stories are coming in fast and furious. Some kind of false flag, a sinister new plot to enslave us, the start of a new and ferociously tech cold/hot war, or aliens themselves? Maybe all of that. In the meanwhile, we can but hope ET wymxn don't resemble the most qualified presidential candidate ever...

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    1. These space girls are going to be gorgeous LSP. I mean how would they even be taken on the ship otherwise. I triple guarantee it !

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  2. I’ve just completed a fact-finding inquiry, but I think this topic is important enough to warrant an in-depth congressional investigation. Congress may not uncover any more facts than I did, and their investigation will no doubt cost a lot more money, but it will at least keep members of congress away from the race tracks and gay bars.

    No one believed Rubio when he claimed to be second-generation Cuban, and as it turns out, they were right. He’s a 143rd generation space alien. Marco Rubio’s 143rd great-grandfather was the original “ancient” alien, a fellow named Spitzfink Rubio. You may remember that it was Spitzfink who constructed the symbols in Peru that can only be seen from 200,000 miles in space. In alien language, those symbols say (and I’m not kidding about this), “Exit 6, Earth, no trucks after 6:30 p.m. M, W, F.”

    Note: Only Democrats can read these ancient alien symbols because they’re the only people “out there.” I know about this because Jerry used to be a Democrat and he told me.

    But, is it fair to castigate female astronauts for misplacing a billion dollar hammer in outer-space? Yes, especially since Lisa Caputo Nowak donned adult diapers to make a non-stop trip from central Texas to Florida to smash another female astronaut in the face for stealing her boyfriend/fellow astronaut William Oefelein, who liked dirty women.

    I do not think it is accurate for you to drag DHS into the UFO story. If this were true, then the DHS would have to arrest the President, Vice President, and a little more than half of the US House of Representatives — all of whom are suspected aliens. On the other hand, once an alien administration “takes over,” and there is no one except aliens guarding the White House — okay, you’re probably right. On the other hand, there’s no such thing as “rap music” on account of the fact that rap isn’t music. Please get your shit together.

    Well, if aliens were taking requests, I’d ask them to go ahead and zap us and relieve us from the sound of rap, text messages, the yammering of communist media, White House Press Secretary announcements, and anything originating in Congress. And uh ... that my good friend Kid would pay me back that $12,000 he owes me (including interest).

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    1. Once again you are way ahead of me Mustang. I just need another day or two on the 12 big ones. I gotta send all this to biden for approval anyways. I'll get back to you.

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    1. Odie, if they get me first I'll give them your address. :)

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  4. If they could just drop by the WH first....they have a more than willing candidate sitting there. He won't know the difference.

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    1. Well don't tell anyone Bunk, but I've been in contact with the more agressive aliens and I've let them know that politicians and 'world leaders' love being the test subjects for very intrusive medical experiments.

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  5. Anybody care to guess what this week’s Progressive Talking Points are?
    That’s exactly Right! Gun Control, and Climate Control !

    See how simple that was!

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  6. Bob Newhart once told Johnny Carson that he knows that women from outer space have their breasts on their backs rather than on their chests. He says that it makes slow dancing quite popular among alien cultures. Is this true, or just night time TV?

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    1. The ones I've met have them front and back Mustang.

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  7. This veteran agrees 100% and I will NEVER accept that those who voted against finding out exactly what happened on January 6th are patriotic Americans who value the service of our servicemembers. Not all our wars are patriotic or just but most (99%) who have served for us are.

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  8. By the way, Right-wingers didn’t just dream up : all the things that are destroying this country!
    In fact we have been warning you against it for all those years that Obama was in office.
    I keep thinking about the quote whenever anyone claims that the Obama administration was scandal-free. How many more times are we going to hear people make this claim and see it go unchallenged?
    Think of all the disasters that happened in all of Obama’s Presidentcy.
    The destructive economic trade policies, the Iraq War, the housing bubble, the banks that were “too big to fail,” mortgage-backed securities, the Hillary Clinton campaign of 2016 — all of these disasters brought to you by the “First African American self-assured, highly educated man”. And how about people that served in Obama’s administration, the ones who are supposed to know what they’re doing, plus the total complacency of the highly educated people who are supposed to be supervising the Wonder Man, the Magnificent, the Messiah!.. the man who NEVER had any “Scandals “. Yeah Right!
    I guess that sending a Terrorists Nations Billions in Cash in the dark of the night is “Normal ”?

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  9. I am 75 and have been waiting for years for the spaceship, the one commanded by an attractive woman who says she admires my patience and has read every newspaper story and piece of fiction I ever wrote. She has come to take me away, and, by the way, would I mind taking care of some of her enemies in the next 50 or so years?

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    1. SgtBob, Me too. I must say that sounds a lot like a Heinlein book "Glory Road".

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