by bold group of rogue 4th graders known as the Sez Me Street Gang who have inflicted thousands of ransomware attacks on the computer systems controlling agencies from the CIA and Defense Department all the way down to the sewage treatment plants of New Jersey.
In a statement transmitted via Etch-a-Sketch drawing, they say computers will not be released until "Real" cartoons including Roadrunner, Foghorn-Leghorn, Bugs Bunny, Marvin the Martian, and all the rest of the Warner Bros hits are put back on TV and shown 24 hours a day.
They added a warning that any attempts to trace them or harm them in any way will be futile because their Dad's can beat up anyone at any time.
Suzie, a known tattletale, also in the 4th grade, sent the included images of the suspected hackers in their bedroom and basement lairs. The images could not be verified at the time of this writing and Suzie has not immediately responded to calls for comment. Her mom said she is playing in her room and couldn't be disturbed.
Officials explain that the situation is dire since they believe Juan Martinez, the long time janitor at Warner Bros may have burned the archived films last year, attempting to stay warm during California's rolling blackouts.
An official on condition of anonymity, since he isn't permitted to even go to the bathroom by himself, stated in a panicked voice: "We might be screwed. I don't think anyone exists who can re-create those wonderful cartoons, and Like Hey Man, where are you going to find another Mel Blanc !?"
In the meantime, our entire government is open to attack from all sorts of countries, including even like Canada.
I Think this does sum up the US government, but I notice the organization doesn't have any transgender kids. What's with that?
ReplyDeleteSuzie threw their pictures out Mustang because she is transphobic. Typical.
DeleteWell, then I'll stop trying to guess which is which.
DeleteSounds like a plan Ed :)
DeleteI'm beginning to think that animal crackers and juju beans remain relevant to American society. Face it, paying bribes in juju beans has got to be cheaper than bitcoin.
DeleteAt least juju beans are real. And it's not like they can just make more anytime they want. That's what Suzie tells me anyhow.
Delete"...even, like, Canada."
ReplyDeletehahahahahaha.
Good call.
Thank You Monsieur LSP :)
DeleteI commented here the day you posted it and it's not here! Sorry??!!! My computer was starting/stopping, too...maybe it just didn't make it!
ReplyDeleteI have yet to know of a California Blackout around here, but the world things they're rampant!~!!! ???
"like Canada" is right.......Imagine how weak we appear? Today, there's Biden speaking (squinting SO hard to read the teleprompter), saying "Ya know, Man? We have to educate more people who understand HACKING!" Oh, God.......Then he says "the companies are talking about doing that...but they aren't PAYING for it!"
A friend recently said "Imagine what our forefathers would have thought of Biden?"
"They'd all SMACK HIM DOWN" was my response............unreal.
Z, I think the problem was on your end then, I get all comments into my email for moderation and never saw one. Just fyi.
DeleteWell, you know how us satirical guys tend to have their idiotic predictions come true.. Keep an eye out for those blackouts ! Hope you don't get any :)
Educate more people who understand hacking? Just the latest shiny fuzzy ball for the dems to make a comment about. Meaningless, forgotten in a week if that. The dems don't even know what they're talking about. WOULD NOT shock me to find out the government helped them get hacked... not accusing but just sayin.
What does biden know about what companies are talking about? Ludicrous. Clown Show is the nice name for it.
Yea, I think lots of countries are licking their lips getting ready to or already are taking advantage of this clown show. Iran and N Korea and China already are. Extortion. Treasonous people in high places in government known to be working with them. I'll stop here :-)
Had to be on my end.. You're not the only guy who talks about CA blackouts...I hear it all the time. WEird.
DeleteThe blackouts got a lot of press Z. Maps and everything. Hmmm.
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ReplyDeleteI would have rather had a swarm of Red ants crawling up my balls than to have voted for that piece of human excrement Biden
LSP, I sense a possible imposter, but still I'll 2nd that emotion. I've spent my entire voting life voting against democrats.
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