Monday, January 11, 2021

Big Big Big Things Happening in Politics !

It is April of 2023, Mike and Karen Pence are discussing Mike's possible 2024 presidential run.


Mike, you &%&%!# moron. Can't you see the media is tearing you a new one every second of every day and you just stare at the cameras like you've had a frontal lobotomy and mumble about "First Responders", "Education" and what the hell is the other thing.... Oh Yea "Everyone should be ^%^**%#@ Nice to each other and be Good Neighbors".   Do you even have a pulse?  Someone get in here and check and see if Mike has a &^$(*&^& Pulse!  Give me a gun, I'm going to shoot those bastards at CNN !

Karen honey you know the doctors say you have to take your bi-polar medicine every day and...

"I'm not Bi-Polar you ignorant  *(%&#$@(*  sloth !

Mike knows all too well how this goes so he heads off into his man cave for a little needlepoint time.  He's thinking that maybe he can finish that hummingbird doily he's been working on.

Mike is thinking that since Joe "who am i?" Biden, Kamala Sutra Harris and the drunken Nancy Pelosi have been assassinated over the last couple years by white supremacist MAGA hat wearing maniacs, the political landscape is Wide Friggin Open (Ooops did I say that he thinks to himself and proceeds to do immediate penance).  Well, he will work on his aggressive demeanor and maybe give it a shot he thinks.  Yes, that's it.  I think I can.. I think I can.. I think I can... I Know I can !  He smiles as he continues work on the breast feather section of his needlepoint.

.. It's been a week now and Karen still won't take her medicine.  In fact she broke into CNN a couple days ago and has shot Don Lemon and killed him.  She shot him once, twice, thrice, then crushed his head with a sledgehammer as he screamed for Wolf Blitzer to come help him.  Mike had to call in a few markers to get Karen off of this one.  He is thinking a White House run is just not in the cards now and he and Karen head off to a room at the Waldorf-Astoria after Mike spikes Karen's drinks with anti-bi-polar medication for a week.  All of Social Media has banned him so he announces through flyers he distributes out the hotel window and onto the deserted streets of New York City that he and Karen are going to lie in bed naked and if any media people want to come and take photos like they did with John and Yoko that they'd be welcome.  Apparently no takers.  It's been months now and neither of them has been seen or heard from.

"AHA" exclaims the clinton beast, maybe this is my chance! she cackles.  "It may take millions for make up artists but I've got the Cash !" the beast thinks to herself.  Now to find a willing Salon !

She contracts with Lockheed Martin to design and manufacture an electrically powered exoskeleton that she can use to actually make it appear that she can still walk without assistance and off she goes campaigning. "No one gonna see a damn thing under this pantsuit" she tells herself.

Whaddya know, the clinton beast gets elected.  2 days into the office and a secret service agent, after being ripped up one side and down the other Again by the beast for bringing her the wrong danish, quickly draws his weapon, a pearl handled .45 caliber Kimber semi-automatic with a 16 shot mag and one in the chamber, and shoots the creature 5 times in the head.  While clinton is dumping blood onto the floor of the oval office he regains his composure and empties his magazine into the beast.  " There" he thinks to himself. "No more beast. Bout Damn Time".

The beast had her VP killed the day before, so the Speaker of the House, AOC, must assume the presidential duties immediately.  "Where's the nuclear football" she asks after being sworn in. "I feel like a pickup game of hoops right now."  A secret service agent chambers a round...

Possibly more to come, maybe not...

15 comments :

  1. Ha ha ha ... maybe more plausible than you imagine. But um ... who's that Mike Pence guy?

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    1. I've only seen Pence on TV once or maybe twice Mustang, not sure what he does. I wonder if his wife is that "Karen" everyone seems to be fixated on.

      Seems like anything is plausible these days.

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    2. Oh, you didn't know? Mike is a drone. It was revealed that he was from planet Pluto.. is it still a planet? Anyway, thanks to the last measure perpetrated against us by this Congress, all aliens and UFO's must be revealed to us within 120 days as I recall. Alas we find out that Mike-- may I call him that? - was simply a hologram sent to us... think it was Pluto.Not sure though.

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    3. Bunk, Mike has to be an alien - with a defective charging circuit which is why Pluto sent him to Earth with a message for Neil D Tyson- Hey you idiot oaf, Pluto IS a planet !

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  2. Hahahahaha

    But humor aside, how dare you question your Elite Overlords?

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  3. I don't question LSP, I only observe and report.

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  4. I never actually said Mike Pence had sex with Kim Jung Un in a men's bathroom toilet stall. I only said that it's what I saw written on the wall outside the Greyhound bus station.

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    1. Actually it was Kim and Mike's wife Karen Mustang. One of the reasons she is so out of plumb these days.

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  5. "for a little needlepoint time."

    Heh...

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    1. Mike does have a softer side that few people suspect LSP.

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  6. Kid, I saw Mike speaking to the National Guard on TV yesterday and thought "You know what? Kid's friends are right, he's not particularly smart".... This is a laugh; So many better people than him. As if he could WIN?

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    1. Z, I believe myself to be a good judge of people. I think the Pence's would make good neighbors but not be good in charge of much of anything.

      Maybe a subject for a post but as an aside to all that's going on, I have to wonder WHO would run for the White House now that is as talented or loving of America as DJT? I can't imagine.

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  7. I sincerely hope that Mike Pence is not my new neighbor. I assume he would fling dog poop over the fence and into my yard in the dark of night. Now to go find me one of them electronically powered exoskeletons and some scotch.

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    1. Well, that he would do Mr Blade. I think that is about the only real enjoyment the Pence's have in their lives.

      I already have a bunch of stuff headed your way along with 1,000 cases of lead free smart vegan water.

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