Tuesday, January 29, 2013

I'd Really Love A Divorce....

It is time for all of us to agree that liberals and conservatives have arrived at the irreconcilable point of no return.

We'll divorce on that basis and divide the country in half. The conservative states will retain the name of the USofA and the liberal half can be whatever they want to call it. Probably, the United Socialist States of Peace, Coexistence, Multi-Culturalism and Equality. (USSPCME)

This picture will probably become their flag.

I say we give them the top half of the country since we like a warmer Earth. They're also currently clogging up the entire North East and North West so fewer of them would have to move. They'll appreciate that and it will be our last gift to them.

They'll still have dual access to the Ocean as well as the Great Lakes and they'll be close to their dreamland of Canada where health care is far less available and costs 4 times as much. They'll love that. That would give us a North and South California and several other states. San Fran would most definitely belong to the Northern half. 
We'd have the Mexican border and rather than guard it, we'd simply take any Mexicans that want in and put them on a Greyhound and send them to the North. It'd be cheaper anyway and everybody would be happy. We'll keep a small number that speak English for Authentic Mexican Restaurants and Masonry. Que Paso Hombre- Chicken Fajita.

Here's a rough cut of the border. We'll hire some liberals to paint the big red line.

We'll keep Washington DC and the surrounding area. The White House offends them anyway. I suspect they'll relocate their own federal government to an office in the UN building in New York.

We'll create our own media. Lying by anyone in the media without clearly identifying their remarks as personal opinion will be a capital crime.

We'll create our own everything actually. We know how to do it ! Given the USSPCME will destroy all of their manufacturing and farming businesses in short order, we'll have a ready made 150 million foreign customers to sell a wide variety of goods. We'll ship everything by train. If they want to buy more they have to send the trains back.

The constitution will be returned to its original form and content.  Amendments require 100% of the states to ratify.

In prison there will be no Internet, TV, Sex Changes or Drugs. Any reading material will be educational only. The only activity outside the cell will be physical maintenance like laundry, cooking, cleaning and the exercise yard.

No government assistance unless a person is mentally or physically disabled. Women having children without any visible means of support will be charged with child abuse and either be put in low security prison or be made sterile - their choice.

Low Taxes. The residents of the state with the highest growth rate at the end of the current year gets a federal tax holiday for the following year and may ship 10% of their prison population to the North. On the down low of course.
We'll have one of those invisible fences they use for dogs all along the border a couple miles wide and any prisoners shipped to the North will have the electric shock devices implanted at strategic points of the body.  Going to be painful to get back.

Islam will be declared a cult and outlawed. No mosques.

Someone like bill mahr or rachael maddow show up, it will be legal to 'stone' them with eggs and tomatoes any time they're out and about.

School children will be reciting the Pledge of Allegiance again and will be punished for bad behavior, not drugged. They'll also receive gun safety training on a regular basis through grade school with mock guns, and perform real gun target shooting in high school. A minimum score in marksmanship will be required to pass the grade.
Intentional and avoidable harm to the environment will be punished severely to include prison time and company destroying fines.

All soft drugs handled like alcohol. Hard drug pushers get life in prison.

No foreign aid. No embassies in vermin countries. Mess with us and suffer the consequences.

The following political parties will kick this thing off:

Tea Party
Libertarian Party
The political party which is elected as majority to State or Federal or Local does not make satisfactory progress on their campaign promises, they are removed after a year and the opposing party members from the last election are installed.

The following terms and phrases will be stricken from the language:

Bipartisan - either party got elected to do what they promised to do - get over it ! 
Politically correct - no one has a right to not be offended.
Minority - there are no minorities - just humans !
Equality - screw equality! Celebrate Excellence !
Fairness - we will be the land of unfairness and damn proud of it!
Wardrobe Malfunction - embrace the occasional incident - especially if they're good looking !

I could maybe go on forever !

Well, these are some ideas off the top. You probably have some more.


  1. I'd be thrilled to find myself in a red state for a change. Sign me up!

    1. This was a fun post Opus. Ok, got you down. ;-)

  2. Should be a major part of the new, refreshed and revised Constitution!

  3. Replies
    1. Heh, David, Thank You.

      Well, did you hear the imbecile dictator has changed the petition rules. You need 100,000 signatures in a week, or maybe 2 weeks in order to be officially ignored by his bastardness. ?

  4. Good thinking, Kid. That's one petition I don't think will take long to reach the 100,000 signatures.

    1. Thanks TCL, it's a fun thought. Living in a country that makes sense. Wowsa.

  5. I don't think a painted red line is going to work out, Kid. Besides, hiring liberals to paint it would end up in failure as well, since libs are dumber than dirt and couldn't figure out how to grab a brush, stick it in the paint bucket and then slap it on the ground. THat kind of complex problem solving is beyond their skill set.

    After a few months on their own, those 'Uppies' will run out of everything and want to come down and steal the 'Lowie's' stuff. We're going to have to build a wall, with machine gun turrets.

    And while we're building walls and turrets, there's a missing wall down south that has been needed for a long time, that one goes up simultaneously.

    1. Freed, you didn't see the 50's mounted every half mile along the red line?

      As far as the Mexicans, the libs love em. We'll send them more.

      We won't let them back in.

    2. Kid: from my military days, a .50 cal every half mile won't get the job done. That would mean that the interlocking fields of fire are approx. 1/4 mile, tops. The effective range of a .50 cal is less than that, we need more machine guns.


    3. Fredd, I'll float a new bill on that right away then. Now wasn't this a biparti... er I mean a Great way to get things done !?

  6. Looks like the liberal half as all but maybe three of the countries great universities.
    All the great museums and concert halls.
    Most of the medical centers.
    Most of the water.

    You sure you thought this through?

    1. The 'great' universities are all yours. As far as anything of value, you'll be selling it for pennies on the C-note just to keep eating.

  7. I think it might be the ugliest divorce ever.

    1. Guaranteed Admiral !

      And I want my Records Back !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      I Want My Records Back !!!!!!!!!!!!

      -Sam Kinison

  8. Kid, which cracker crap hole are you from? Or is it southern Ohio?

  9. Are you SURE you want SOUTHERN CA --I'm glad you do - as I live here :-)
    Better re-think Montana- General Vallely has his 'head quarters' there - and the citizens have LOTS of guns--we will need their great attitude on the 2nd --when push comes to shove...

  10. Hi Carol-CS, Yes definitely. The real kooks like it up North anyway.

    Well, we will let anyone in who knows what the constitution is, can name the 3 branches of government, and identify obama, biden, reid and pelosi as the 4 most evil politicians of our time. Or something like that. We could all think of some tests I suppose.

    Once this thing gets going, they'll be moving down poste haste.