Amy Barrett said she voted outside the constitution over the PA election suit because she thought she was supposed to take Ruth Ginsberg's place. That's what John Roberts told her when she showed up for work. Clarence Thomas screams he is "fit to be tied" Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh call for Lindsey Graham to call this action out as a Sham - A Big Sham!
Facebook bans everyone outside of most facebook employees and ISIS vermin
Twitter follows suit but bans most of their own employees as well. Stocks for both companies rally.
CNN reports Nana Pelosi caught having sex with Jerry Nadler, all news presenters immediately vomit live on camera when realizing what they just said and all go home on personal leave for a length of time TBD (to be defined).
Biden pays Xi Jinpingpong 10 billion to let him win at a game of Chinese checkers on Facebook live. Unfortunately for Joe, the broadcast was censored due to facebook's latest community standards rules.
Markie Zukerburg and Jackie Dorsey show up for Congressional hearing, immediately moon the congress members in attendance, laugh like hell and leave while Ted Cruz screams "There will be Consequences!". Lindsey Graham just got a far away smiley look on his face.
From CNBC - Anonymous 'Trader' says "Market may crash, look out below, and Oh woe is us !".
$15 minimum wage enacted, followed by wage increases among union members whose contracts are based on minimum wage causing huge inflation spiral. Minimum wage earners demand $25 minimum wage. AOC demands $50 minimum wage to counteract the next inflation spiral. Warren Buffet thinks things are spiraling out of control.
Lindsey Graham demands more subpoenas to get to the bottom of the suspected erroneous "Steele Dossier". Plans for indictments by April 32nd 2041.
Health authorities in England announced they have not had a single case of influenza this year. (Real one.)
Second graders in this California school forced into mutual masturbation sessions during on-line zoom classes. Teachers secretly recording sessions to sell to child porn movie makers.
Bradley (Chelsea) Manning says has only been approached for sex by other transgenders, says they make him nauseous to look at, says he plays Hank Willliam's tune "I'm so Lonely" [I could cry] over and over in his big empty New York apartment. Also says he is a lot prettier than "that fake Jenner chick".
All statues of famous Americans to be replaced by statues of Joe Stalin, Pol Pot, Xi Jiningpong, and Vladimir Putin.
Chess Declared Racist because White moves first (real one)
Mr and Mrs Potato Head now just sick twisted Potato Heads (nuther real one)
White House spokesperson Jen Psaki now bringing her favorite doll - Raggedy Ann, to all pressers.
White House Doctor says Joe Biden's teleprompter has been diagnosed with Dementia !
Congress passses 3 trillion "Unity Bill" directed to be used only for whole body tattoos for everyone and gender retransformation surgeries for anyone too weak to resist.
Tune in next week ! Or not.
KID KID KID! I HONESTLY thought your Amy paragraph was TRUE and I about got SICK. STOP THAT :-)
ReplyDeleteI swear, I thought "WHAT?" Are you the new BABYLON BEE?
QUESTION: If you did have a column like yours today every week (and I HIGHLY recommend it because these are terrific...) WHAT WOULD YOU NAME IT? !!!!!
Pelosi/Nadler also almost made me ill...........so since my tummy's been a tad upset for four days, anyway, I'll have to come back to read the rest and stay well :-)
Z, Well Amy did vote against.
DeleteThe new B ? Not for me to judge Dear Z.
What would I name it? The New Normal? Welcome to Paradise? News Fit to be Tied? I'll have to think about it.
hahaha. I did notice Pelosi looking a bit 'excited' as Nadler crapped his pants and waddled away from the lectern that one time.
I recommend starting the video at the 0:32 mark... and muting it.
Have a great weekend Z !
WAIT..I just saw the CHESS one as I was leaving the site........that's TRUE??
ReplyDeleteThat's True Z.
DeleteHave you heard about Mr Potato Head? Now just a gender confused Potato Head. Yes. True.
Democrats could F up an cast iron anvil with a rubber hammer.
Come On Man! Stop the BS, Stop taking credit for what Former President Trump DID!
ReplyDeleteStop saying that the Vaccine was “Your” doing!
Because of PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP'S Warp Speed. we can now look forward to hope at a time when we need it most.
We can now see a spark of light at the end of the long, dark tunnel. Or the Long “Dark Winter” as Biden said! .
So I figure it’s only fitting that we say, and give thanks to President Trump for that.
Like many Americans, I take issue with a lot of what Sleepy Uncle Joe Biden says, but to take credit for the Vaccine! That is a bit too much for me, or for anyone to swallow. And why do it? Does Donald Trump still threaten him that much? Is he feeling guilty for Stealing the Election? Or does he lie so damn much theat he just don’t know when he is lying or “Miss-Speaking? Or just plain Bull-Shitting?
Just tell us the truth once in a while. What Trump did was called “Operation Warp Speed,” Trump said it WAY before you even dreamt of being the President. In fact he said it several times, once during a Rose Garden speech, and again at a Press Conference.
So Come on Man, give credit where credit is due. Everyone knows it anyway, so STOP embarrassing yourself.
And by the way, I was just reminded that there are videos being shown on the internet of YOU getting Vaccinated in last December. Vaccinated with the Vaccine that President Donald J. Trum got for this Country and the rest of the Word in Record Time!
I interviewed the only man to get Influenza in America in 2020 last Saturday. Neil Mammen.
ReplyDeleteIt must be getting tough to parody reality, thus you had to report some real news, surreal as it is.
Job well done!
Thanks Ed.
DeleteYea, it sure is getting tough to parody this clown show.
My God, is next week's news going to be worse?
ReplyDeleteSo, where does the other $1.6 Trillion go?
Odie, well have to wait and see but I'd say worse is a good bet.
DeleteThe other 1.6 trillion has already been given to worthless vermin and/or spent on cocaine and hookers. A new stimulus bill is already being prepared. Nana said about the bill that passed on Friday "That's old news, we're not gonna talk about that".
You know how I’m always complaining about journalists who write articles on topics they know nothing about? The same must apply to elected officials.
ReplyDeleteSo Joe wants to become a member of Congress. He’s good looking, speaks well, smiles a lot, has mastered the “I’m concerned” look into TV cameras, and he wins his election in a landslide. When Joe gets to congress, he’s placed on a committee — one ostensibly suited to him based on his educational background, which is hard to do if Joe has a degree in Fine Arts. Now Joe is sitting on one or two committees that discuss matters that Joe knows nothing about. Joe knows that he’s making good money (almost twice as much as a nuclear engineer); he knows that all he has to do is concentrate on sending bullshit emails out to his constituents (so that they think he’s actually doing something for them) and bide his time, kiss a little Democrat Ass along the way, read a few books on national intelligence, and one day (two or three election cycles down the road), maybe he’ll get to sit on the Intelligence Committee (the big time). If Bootyjudge can do it, by golly …
It’s probably different in the Senate. They get the same pay, of course … one wonder’s if they even go to work in the morning. My guess is … nah. We should probably pay them their hefty salary and make them promise to do absolutely nothing — the country would be in better shape. Or maybe replace the entire Congress with a Cray Computer.
So what do the Supreme’s do when they aren’t hearing cases? No one knows. I suspect they get to work around 9 a.m., play scrabble until noon, take their lunch in the SCOTUS cafeteria, take a nap, and leave for the day around 4 p.m. Not a bad routine for $255,000/annually — for a lifetime appointment. Barrett is what … twelve? She’ll rake in gazillions by the time she dies. The Chief makes a bit more, of course … and has a lot nicer scrabble board.
All government departments have secretaries or directors — all of whom are political appointees, which means that within any given election cycle, they kissed better ass than anyone else on the winning side. They don’t have to know anything, because very little in the form of important issues ever gets to the secretarial level. It’s handled by career snuffs below them. They’re running the show. In making important decisions, the snuffs go through a logic table, which always begins with and ends with the same question: Will this screw up my career? Whenever the logic table (or Magic Eight Ball) answer “YES” the problem is deferred until the next fiscal year or six months after the bureaucrat retires, whichever comes last.
What MOST of us wants to know is, what is with his fascination you have with AOC. She’s ugly, man — a two-bagger. Please, stop putting up her picture. By the way, Jerry tells me that if you don’t stop the AOC thing, he’ll send a few boys around to see you. And we don't need visions of Pelosi and Fat Jack doing it on the desk, either. Stop that.
Other than that, I think you’ve got it all figured out. At least with KNN, we can stop guessing about how bad it has all become inside the beltway. Maybe we should go and live with Jerry ... he's only ten feet away from the Canadian border and it only snows ten months out of the year.
You bring up some good points Mustang. First off, 90% of congress members are robots built by the same Disney people that made the presidents in that display thay have in Disneyland. It's why they say the same shit all the time and nothing ever happens.
ReplyDeleteJerry DaBlade can back me up on this. We discussed it at length while drinking $1,000 glasses of Scotch in an igloo he has in his backyard.
The Supremes.. man I don't know, they don't even make records any more. I think they all cross dress under those black robes too.
You'll also be happy to know that those women who sit behind Hank Johnson when he is asking questions in Congress are actually paid concubines who have sex with him at the drop of a hat and where he gets all of his ideas for questions. The black girl is the one who fed him the capsize question.
She had some explaining to do for that one.
I guess I could have found a better pic of AOC. Must have just gotten out of bed for this pic. I'll see if I can find some nudies of her for you.
I'll ask Mr Blade to add some new guest wings to his backyard igloo. Booze will probable all be gone by the time we get there though.
OK, my friends, and Foes alike, Buckle up for Sunday, if you're part of the swamp, Big Tech / Media, or part of Joe Biden's radical left wing mob, you're being put on notice".
ReplyDeletePresident Trump's CPAC speech on Sunday is going to be YUGE! Make sure you tune in! I know I wouldn't miss it!
.For now we see through a glass darkly, but then face to face.
ReplyDeleteNow we know in part, but then shall I know even as also I am known."
I guess that means that the Great Mysteries will be revealed to us after we die.
I'm in no hurry, myself, but i suspect that is true –– or something like it.
When you consider how little we are able to perceive with our five senses, and how much we've already managed to find out beyond those limitations, I seriously believe there must be an infinitude of things to know of which we don't even SUSPECT the existence.
Many want to find that frightening, but I believe that ultimately we'll come to realize that EVERYTHING is GOOD.
That's one of the reasons I still work to maintain faith in God.