Lindsey Graham: Good morning Ms Barrett. As we open these hearings to determine if you are suited and qualified for the position of Supreme Court Jurist, do you have any opening statements?
Amy: Yes, let me just say to all of you and some of you -
Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.
Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and for ten days you will have tribulation. Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life.
Graham: Very good Ms Barrett, let me open the questioning by going to Senator Leahy.
Leahy: Ms Barrett I would like to know how you would rule on a potential Emoluments Clause case involving President Trump. This committee has it on good authority that Trump organizations have received 27 trillion dollars in rent payments since he was elected.
Amy: I could not rule on what appears to be heresay and I was also not aware that Presidential Nominee Joe Biden would have the ability to ask questions in this hearing through the committee members.
Leahy: Nevermind, let's move to the next questioner then.
Senator Booker: What do you say to those who claim you will not judge based on the Constitution but instead by the Bible?
Amy: Senator, let me quote from Mathew 5:17 through 18
"Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished."
Senator Booker with a follow up question: Ms Barrett, isn't it true that the Republicans are trying to ram you down our throats in the middle of an election and wouldn't you agree that these are very bad people for doing this?
Amy: Let me just continue with a quote from Mathew 5:22 "But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell."
Senator Booker cowers down behind the committee table trying to remember his prayers from confession when they forced him to go in 2nd grade.
Lindsey Graham: Let me warn the members of this committee that I'm getting close to screaming "This is a Sham!". Don't make me do it.
Senator Hirono: Ms Barret, I must ask you as I have asked all Supreme Court Nominees with a first name of Amy and last name of Barrett.. Have you ever been accused of or convicted or even thought of committing sexual assault, or for example have you ever had say a 10 year old boy undress in front of you so you could enjoy his young manly fruits while he sponged down your naked body with pineapple flavored bubble bath and...
Lindsey Graham: That's Enough Senator !
Senator Hirono: Please answer the question Ms Barrett.
Amy: No, I haven't. Have you senator? Then Amy turned to also look at Senator Harris' face which clearly showed a lustful excitement and then she stared intently into Harris' sunken eyes. Senator Harris screamed, shot from her chair and bolted from the committee room mumbling "bitch ain't asking me that question" to never be seen again.
At this moment, former President George W Bush crashed into the proceeding with Michelle Obama in tow, and like Kanye West at some awards show rudely interrupting Taylor Swift, screamed how Michelle should be sitting in the nominee seat and not this skinny Barrett chick.
Ted Cruz at that moment took out his vintage Colt 45 six gun which was used by Wyatt Earp at the Ok Coral pulled the hammer halfway back, spun the cylinder, and threatened them with serious bodily injury if they didn't immediately leave the room. George and Michelle began to leave the room sulking, George mumbling over and over "I wish I was still President, I wish I was still President..", and Michelle screaming "I Hate America's Guts ! I wanna be on the Supreme Court!", Bailiffs had to drag them out the rest of the way feet first. The bailiff dragging Michelle winced as he looked at Michelle whose dress was now riding up and yelled, For God's sake don't look. Don't look!
Lindsey Graham once again threatened to call the proceedings a sham and to even get mad if necessary. Senator Klobachar do you have any questions for Ms Barrett?
Yes, Ms Barrett, it has come to our attention that you may end up ruling on the constitutionality of the Affordable Care Act and I'd like to know how prepared you are to deny health care to a young gender confused black boy or girl, bullied daily by little white supremacists, chased home by crazed policemen, desperately needing immediate medical attention due to racism and the climate crisis inspired Covid-19 affliction !?
Amy: Huh?
Lindsey Graham: Alright let's move on, this is obvious political vote pandering and I'm about to scream Sham! Shame on this Sham ! Now we've all heard enough to cast our votes. Voting will be on Oct 22 God Willing and the Creek Don't rise and my new lingerie arrives in time !
Just then Mitt Romney busts into the chamber and declares "My hand stumbles as I try to vote Yes for you Ms Barrett !"
Amy: Senator Romney, let me quote from Mathew 18:8 - "If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; it is better for you to enter life crippled or lame, than to have two hands or two feet and be cast into the eternal fire."
Lindsey Graham: That's enough of this tomfoolery! Ms Barrett, do you have any final statements or comments concerning your nomination?
Amy: To you democrat Senators I quote from Mathew 23:33 - "You serpents, you brood of vipers, how will you escape the sentence of hell?" - and also from Revelations 20:14 - Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire. Bon Voyage!
Finally, from Galatians 5:19 through 21 "Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God."