President Trump appoints former female porn star to head CDC, stating that she will be very focused on social diseases.
All 7 billion people on Earth tell Elon Musk to GFY as no one is going to go to that POS planet Mars.
Chinese hackers gain access to all self-driving cars in America and make them hunt down and kill pedestrians.
Louis Farrakhan dies from a spontaneous human combustion event and takes the entire Congressional Black Caucus with him as well as Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and Bradley Manning and Bruce Jenner who were both there desperately looking to get laid.
The entire democrat party and everyone associated with them, excluding Nancy Pelosi, Maxine Waters, Hank Johnson and Sheila Jackson Lee, are branded as a National Security Threat. Those excluded were exempted based upon their exceptionally low IQ and deemed to not even be a threat to a potted plant, piece of lint, or bottle cap. Also included as threats however are Lindsey Graham, John McCain, Lisa Murkowski, Jeff Flake, Mitch McConnell, Paul Ryan, and Susan Collins.
Impertinent and Mustang are working on software to cause self-driving cars to be able to identify and kill liberal progressives on sight. Wish them luck !
Ms Z is still humming Afternoon Delight, but is working feverishly alongside Betsy Devos to straighten out our education system once and for all. Godspeed Ms Z and Betsy !
DaBlade is providing cover fire for a Seal Team Elebendy Ninety Nine who are tasked with Really cleaning up the swamp.
FreeThinke is providing heavenly music and poetry to keep the wolves from catching on to the above activities.
Adrienne, Ed, AOW, Fredd, and all the other blog masters are in the situation room providing high level strategy.
** Breaking News ! Doctors report Jeff Sessions showing signs of entering Puberty.
Kid Reported seeing a good looking person in Cincinnati, but the excitement was over when it was discovered she was only here visiting her crazy uncle Otis, who by the way, can't drive a car worth a shit.
Kid has started a GoFundMe page to get the water cleaned up in Flint, MI but secretly plans to keep all the money for himself.
President Trump uses a Colt .45 caliber semi-automatic handgun to murder Rosie O'Donnell on 5th Ave in New York and no one cares. President Trump responds to reporters questions about the incident by saying, See I told you no one would care if I murdered someone on 5th Ave.
How about Melania's New Shoes !!!!
Vladimir Putin receives 99.99999% of the vote to retain the presidency in Russia.
Someone said Something Really rude to someone else, and that someone else had something really Shocking to say back.
Stephen Hawking teases on his death bed methods to determine if there are multiple universes. Who gives a shit, we can't even get to Mars.
No One Really Cares, except maybe your spouse and Closest friends.
Black Mayors and other black officials across America blame all things bad on Jewish people, White People, and Trump
Sports News - Who cares.
Austin Texas Bomber found to be Michael Moore freaking out over repeating 10 minute hunger strikes. Expected to not be charged.
A Trillion seconds is 32,678 years.
A 2.5 trillion federal study concluded that domestic house cats will always sleep on the largest pillow available.
Scientists are stymied over cat language. Does "Meow" mean Feed me, Brush me, or Let Me the Hell Out. More funds are needed to resolve this quintessential conundrum.
Today's music requires that singers cannot sing, band members cannot actually play instruments, and song writers couldn't put a tune or lyrics together to save their life.
Keith Richards takes out full page ad in New York Times that reads "I'm Still Alive! HAHAHAHAHAHhahahhahahaaaaaarrg "
Jersey Mikes Subs Donating proceeds of all sales for Wednesday March 28 to Kids Cancer Centers (True)
I just read that 132 puppies have been rescued from drainpipes and other deadly traps.
Goodnight Chet.
Goodnight David.
