The Trump - Biden Debate Transcript 3 Hours Early

Demonic Beady Eyed Democrat Tool Chris Wallace: "Welcome Everyone to what is promising to be very robust and informative debate between Former Vice-President Joseph Biden, acclaimed recipient of America's Medal of Freedom award and likely future savior of our planet, versus serial tax evader and womanizer - the incumbent President Donald Trump."

Sleepy Joe (SJ)  Joe Biden is here? Does his wife know ? He sure is a handsome devil.  Boy this outta be interesting.

CW: Chuckling "Alright Mr Biden, stop cutting up.  It was very funny but we're going to have a serious debate tonight and the future of the world might depends (er I mean Depend) on the outcome.  Sorry, because of your humor, I happened to think of Jerry Nadler there for a second.  Please excuse me.  Mr Biden the first question to you - How do you feel about Mr Trump paying little to no income taxes in years where he paid little to no income taxes."

SJ: I'm glad you ask Chris. Look, we all know that Donald Trump is a trillionaire on the backs of young girls working around the world for literally pennies a day and sometimes pennies per week or month building hotels and casinos. These young girls can barely afford a ripped and torn sheet to wrap themselves in and .. [Joe gets a far away look in his eye for a second while some drool collects on his upper lip area..], and this man doesn't even pay his taxes.  It's despicable !  Joe forcefully exclaims as some drool flies off his lips reminiscent of Sylvester The Cat cartoons of days gone by.

CW: "Mr Trump, how do you respond to Mr Biden's claims that you sexually abuse young women around the world and then confiscate and walk off with the meager wages you've paid them."

DJT:  My great friend Mr Biden is correct that women in developing countries are being massively abused but he has me confused with his son Hunter.  His coke head son runs all over the world to places like China, yes CHI NA, assaulting young women, getting them pregnant then telling them he is flat broke and can't give them any money.  Mr Biden would be assaulting them also, but frankly someone replaced his cane with a small wet Chinese noodle if you know what I mean.  His pointer can no longer alert the hunters to the flying ducks shall we say.

As far as paying taxes, as Michael Corleone told the Senator in the movie The Godfather "Senator, you will not only waive my casino application fee but you will also pay the construction costs".  I've used the same method with the female Democrat Senators and they have been paying all of my taxes for years.  There is a reason Diane Feinstein and most of the other female Democrat politicians look like they have TSTS (terminal sexual tension syndrome).  This I will tell you.    This is why they want me out of office.

In fact, when the severely math challenged freshman Congressman - Alexandria Ocleavageness-Cortez heard of this she wrote to me telling me she wanted to pay part of my tax bill also.  She loves the idea.  Can you believe it?  I told her for every dollar she contributes, the water temperature at the North Pole will go down by one degree Celsius per week during Winter.  She was ecstatic.  She is a halfwit, what can I tell you.  Additionally, Hank Johnson is much more relaxed knowing icebergs are no longer capsizing along the frozen tundras.  And he's a genius compared to Alexandria.

CW:  "I have to stop you there Mr Trump.  Your rebuttal PLEASE Mr Biden !"

SJ: I have a son?  Jill.  Jill? Are you here?  We have a son?  Can we try for a daughter?  Now look folks, see I told you Donald Trump has No Facts.  He is a quivering orange mass of No Facts.  If I did have a son, it would be Kamala Harris.  In the time I've known her, I find I respect her Satanic activities even more than I ever did the Clintons.  I mean, this lovely woman has kept innocent people in Jail. Denying them an appeal of the false DNA results used against them. You have to love that.  Imagine how she'll be able to keep the teachers unions and lawyer groups raping the country like a herd of gorilla in a herd of beautiful swans.  They'll keep the feathers flying folks.  Between that and my 100 trillion in new taxes plan we will get this country back on track in nothing flat.  And that's no Malarkey.  You can take that to the No Malarkey bank and start a small Christmas club for the young girls who are there.  Jill, can we go to the bank after the debate?

CW: "Mr Trump you have 5 minutes unless I decide to cut you off for making absurd claims about this fine man campaigning for the office of the President again."

DJT:   Thank you Chris.   Folks is it not obvious that my friend Mr Biden is pumped up with drugs and hormones.  Weird hormones.  Sick hormones. Hormones that scare other hormones.

 

There is no way we can tax 100 trillion dollars.  No one even knows what 100 trillion dollars is.  It would probably take billions of years just to count 100 trillion dollars.  This I will tell you.  I've tried it when filling out my tax forms. Believe me.  You can't do it.  That's why my taxes can't be calculated.  It can't be done.  I have the finest CPA's in the business and they all tell me it can't be done.  Believe me.  Melania even tried to help.  The people at the IRS just cry when my tax forms arrive.  They hide them and forget they even exist.

CW: "Mr Biden, your rebuttal Please !"

SJ:  Thank you Chris.  In closing let me reiterate that the waves slosh over the ocean, the waves skip over the sea and the wheels on the bus go round and round.  The squirrels are very cute this time of year.  Their fur reminds me of what the young Chinese children say about my legs in the pool.  Once again, I'll be casting my vote for Donald J Trump on November 3rd, and Hey, someone screwed with my teleprompter again.  Darn it man !   That's it.  How am I supposed to debate like this !?  Jill, take me home Honey before someone gets the stuffing knocked out of them.

DJ Trump once again covering his mouth while silently laughing hysterically at Sleepy Joe's predicament. 

CW: "Well folks, here's another debate gone astray.  Until next time, I'm your host Chris Wallace and this has been Debating with the Stars. No, that's not right, see they've even got me screwed up.  Have a great night folks and we'll see you next time.  The next debate will be at 7 am EDT at the VFW hall in Aliquippa Pennsylvania.  Wait that can't be right.  Who is messing with my teleprompter....."  (fade to commercial.)

Image of VFW hall at 144 Bunker Hill Rd, Aliquippa, PA