Saturday, April 1, 2017

Today's News

President Trump has signed an executive order giving Vladimir Putin and Russia Complete Control of the United States. Mr Putin vows to repeal Obamacare and put all liberals in Gulags. FBI and CIA Cheer the move.
The Trump family has permanently moved to Mar-a-Lago.  Donald Trump calls CNN and asks them if they like Apples.  They look confused but say "Yes".  Donald Trump then says "How do you like them apples!"

As a consequence of John McCain calling Kim Jong Un a "Crazy fat kid", North Korean agents have captured John McCain and are torturing him at an undisclosed location in North Korea.  Hey, Thanks guys!  We don't need him back.

American Badger Buries a Cow.  Don't mess with the American or the Honey Badger.

United Nations admits the whole Global Warming story was cooked up on April 1, 1998 and then it "just got out of control".

Shaquille O'Neal reveals to us that based on his extensive world wide traveling, that the Earth is indeed flat.

17 comments :

  1. Thank you for all the good news.

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  2. can not stop laughing LOL LOL LOL
    Carol-CS

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    1. Carol-CS. Heh. Glad you enjoyed. Nothing better than laughing. :-)

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  3. Hey, if I wanted fake news, I'd watch CNN.

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  4. Cube's comment made me laugh almost as much as your post did!
    This is a TERRIFIC idea!!! A girlfriend of mine sends an email every morning with conservative news, very anti-Left, and she emailed this morning that the Feds had come and del'd a subpoena for May 9th at Superior Court downtown because of her bias and leanings and I believed it for a second! GAD!

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    1. Z, Thanks :-)

      Gotta be wary of April 1.

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  5. Excellent aggregation of the top stories. Why does my face hurt now? (see Carol-CS) As for McCain, I like my RINO democrat sympathizers CAPTURED, so there is that. Maybe the badger should just kick dirt over that heap of political worthlessness. Honey Badger don't care, and I like them apples, indeed.

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    1. Thanks Mr Blade. I must admit that the news these days is a target rich environment.

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  6. Kid...you should be writing for SNL...you surpass even them on most days.

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  7. IMP, Thanks so much. heheh. I am fortunate to see the funny side of things and again, geez the news is Such a target rich environment.

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    1. I haven't watched SNL since the 80's actually. Joe Piscapo is probably the last new cast member I'm familiar with.

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  8. Did you know that Rachel Madcows BD is April first? And did you know she was raised in California near the Russian river?

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    1. IMP, As Johnny would say "I did not know that".

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    2. I don't know whether t believe that :)

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    3. IMP, Ed is longtime personal friends with Rachel. Maybe he can shed some light on this. Well, I dunno, do we care? :-)

      In other news, the Official Portrait of the First Lady released today is quite impressive.

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