Amy Barrett said she voted outside the constitution over the PA election suit because she thought she was supposed to take Ruth Ginsberg's place. That's what John Roberts told her when she showed up for work. Clarence Thomas screams he is "fit to be tied" Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh call for Lindsey Graham to call this action out as a Sham - A Big Sham!
Facebook bans everyone outside of most facebook employees and ISIS vermin
Twitter follows suit but bans most of their own employees as well. Stocks for both companies rally.
CNN reports Nana Pelosi caught having sex with Jerry Nadler, all news presenters immediately vomit live on camera when realizing what they just said and all go home on personal leave for a length of time TBD (to be defined).
Biden pays Xi Jinpingpong 10 billion to let him win at a game of Chinese checkers on Facebook live. Unfortunately for Joe, the broadcast was censored due to facebook's latest community standards rules.
Markie Zukerburg and Jackie Dorsey show up for Congressional hearing, immediately moon the congress members in attendance, laugh like hell and leave while Ted Cruz screams "There will be Consequences!". Lindsey Graham just got a far away smiley look on his face.
From CNBC - Anonymous 'Trader' says "Market may crash, look out below, and Oh woe is us !".
$15 minimum wage enacted, followed by wage increases among union members whose contracts are based on minimum wage causing huge inflation spiral. Minimum wage earners demand $25 minimum wage. AOC demands $50 minimum wage to counteract the next inflation spiral. Warren Buffet thinks things are spiraling out of control.
Lindsey Graham demands more subpoenas to get to the bottom of the suspected erroneous "Steele Dossier". Plans for indictments by April 32nd 2041.
Health authorities in England announced they have not had a single case of influenza this year. (Real one.)
Second graders in this California school forced into mutual masturbation sessions during on-line zoom classes. Teachers secretly recording sessions to sell to child porn movie makers.
Bradley (Chelsea) Manning says has only been approached for sex by other transgenders, says they make him nauseous to look at, says he plays Hank Willliam's tune "I'm so Lonely" [I could cry] over and over in his big empty New York apartment. Also says he is a lot prettier than "that fake Jenner chick".
All statues of famous Americans to be replaced by statues of Joe Stalin, Pol Pot, Xi Jiningpong, and Vladimir Putin.
Chess Declared Racist because White moves first (real one)
Mr and Mrs Potato Head now just sick twisted Potato Heads (nuther real one)
White House spokesperson Jen Psaki now bringing her favorite doll - Raggedy Ann, to all pressers.
White House Doctor says Joe Biden's teleprompter has been diagnosed with Dementia !
Congress passses 3 trillion "Unity Bill" directed to be used only for whole body tattoos for everyone and gender retransformation surgeries for anyone too weak to resist.
Tune in next week ! Or not.
