Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Butthurt, Are You a Victim ?

The following government approved form for claiming Butthurt compensation was released immediately upon the confirmed election of Donald J Trump as President.

Since then we have had some Bona-Fido complaints that the form is lacking in effectiveness.



As a result of these claims and the demonstrated ability of the Federal government to care more about each of YOU more than life itself, the following enhancements have been made.  Rest assured they have all been approved by both the obamacare regulatory commission as well as the new obamacare roll out to be known as Trumpcare.

The following sections have been added for the more severe butthurt cases.


Please answer truthfully so we can apply the most effective forms of relief


With 1 being the lowest level pain and 10 being the highest, please rate these events accordingly.  Enter a value to the left of each item in the box provided using #2 pencil or medium ball point pen.
Enter values for all that apply.

[ ]  Donald Trump won the election

[ ] The hildebeast lost the election

[ ] President Trump tweets while laughing at all of my heroes in the media and the democrat party
[ ] My friends all tell me CNN sucks the big one and is FOS.
[ ] My friends laugh at me because they say I'm as dumb as a freakin box of rocks with no rocks
[ ] Apparently Everyone has me blocked in comment sections managed by Disqus.  (At least I think that's true because no one ever responds to my naive, hate filled rants about DJ Trump
[ ] The Paris Accord was cancelled
[ ] TPP was cancelled
[ ] Melania can never select the proper Shoes for an event !
[ ] President Trump shot 73 on a PGA Tournament level Course !
[ ] President Trump is going to cause our dear friend Kim Jong Un to drop a nuke on us
[ ] Enter your own painful meme and use additional paper if needed but just remember where that freaking paper comes from !

Ok, Time for Your Relief !

Please tell us what will make you feel So much better [Check all that apply]


[ ] lifetime safe room privileges

[ ] play-doh

[ ] coloring books with standard color crayons

[ ] coloring books with enhanced color crayons

[ ] coloring books with standard and enhanced color crayons
[ ] Slinkys
[ ] speaking to a racist-fascist counselor who is LGBTQRSTUV friendly and is likely transgender his/her/self
[ ] sending all guns to Mars, no wait, send them to the sun !  Also ban clubs, knives, skillets, sharp sticks and rocks... and pebbles too

[ ] declaring white people illegal even though that probably includes myself

[ ] forcing all white people to cater to all other races like motion sick love slaves even though I am a white person myself
[ ] Making it a crime to arrest a black or latino person for any reason
[ ] Taking away DJ Trump's tweeter account
[ ] Forcing CNN and MSNBC to be the only channels available on TV in fly-over country
[ ] Require a recurring 10% payroll deduction for everyone on Earth to the clinton global initiative foundation
[ ] Creation of an Adopt an Islamic Terrorist program and fine anyone who doesn't participate (as long as they are not celebrities, sports jocks, politicians, democrats, or slave owners of any kind, and are not on welfare or are non-Caucasian, but are working tax paying slobs)  (See how complicated legislation can get??)
[ ] Show me a picture of a baby's arm holding an apple

[ ] Add you own relief suggestions.  Use additional paper if necessary but just remember where that freaking paper comes from !

Sunday, October 15, 2017

So, That Gold Ring On Your Finger...

Read all about it !

Click the picture or receive a fine and possible jail time for not being PC.






Friday, October 13, 2017

Let's Send Steven Segal to Congress

If you haven't seen the movie maybe this is a spoiler.  Good movie though - worth watching.  Steven is at his most entertaining in this one.

Btw Mr Segal, Mitch McConnell says your mommy wears army boots.

Thursday, October 5, 2017

The Bloodhound Super Sonic Car

It's been delayed years but now this thing is starting to take breaths.   It is going to start its testing phase and move into the execution phase - a land speed record of 1,000 mph on land.

It will be piloted by Andy Green, the same man, RAF Wing Commander, who piloted ThurstSSC to beyond the sound barrier on land.

There will be many test runs working through the various phases of getting Bloodhound SSC to 1000 Mph, and these may take a year or more, but the process has finally started.
I'll keep you updated as interesting events occur.

In the meantime, Bloodhound checks out its jet engine at maximum thrust....  Click the pic.





Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Saturday, September 30, 2017

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Silver Linings and Other Ramblings

The NFL Protest Thing is a Good Thing.   The further the blacks shove themselves in our collective face, the more they will expose their facade of fake victim-hood.  We're not quite there yet but that's gotta be good. Plus fewer NFL fans means fewer people in our break room standing like zombies staring at the TV where a couple guys are talking about sports like it is something important.

I'm Glad McCain Lost to obama.  If McCain had won, he'd have ran the country like a libtard.  Kind of like obama but without the evil moslem side.  The debt probably wouldn't have risen so much, but who cares about the debt?  It will never be paid down and we'll have to default at some point just like everyone else does.  I'm sure McCain would have found some way(s) to thoroughly abuse us however.

But 8 years of obama gave us Donald J Trump and the slightest chance for a political revolution.  Much more than that to me personally, had we elected McCain for an 8 year term, we'd have had clinton and some GOP schmuck running in 2016 and clinton would have won. We'd have that nasty cackling, fugly, evil, America destroying piece of human garbage (the likes of which has never been ejected by the anus of any known Earthly being) in the white house. I've said it many times before, I'd actually take obama over the beast.

Randoms
 
- Does the Tower of Pisa lean left or right ?

- The Constitution is missing a Huge Item.  To wit:

"Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens but not to themselves and shall make no law applied to themselves but not the citizens."
I find it hard to believe those smart guys did not put that in there. It just allows for so much abuse of the citizens and this was their central focus when creating America.

- Looking up at the sky, you can see that the sun is round, the moon is round, and all the stars and planets large enough to see are round, yet, some people believe the Earth is flat.

- Hey, wait a minute, aren't you folks supposed to come up with the randoms?

Monday, September 25, 2017

Saturday, September 23, 2017

Inside Palace, Pingpong, NK

Great Leader: General Wang !

GW: I'm here Brilriant Leader !

GL: Stop all payments to American blitch Maxine Waters. She plomised me she impeach Donald Trump Long Time !  Stupid Clazy Britch never Impeach Great Tweeter.

GW: Taps on cell phone.  It is done Imperious Leader !

GL: Good, now help me thinks up new insults for greatest tweeter.

GW: I call him imperialist dog with brain of howler monkey.

GL: Good one General Wang.

GW: How about Mentally deranged US Dotard?

GL:  No, I just use that one.

GW: Hirry Crinton's Bitch !  Mangy dog that sniff Nana Pelosi backside!  Worthless Butt Buddy of James Comey !  Photoshop picture of him kissing Robert DeNiro.  And Maxine Waters !

GL: Oh Ho Ho Ho

GW: Yappy dog with tiny paws, little tail and Turkey Buzzard for wife. 
 
GL: Oh stops GW, pants are splitting.
 

Monday, September 18, 2017

BREAKING NEWS !

Because the Earth has recently directed the Cassini research spacecraft to plunge into Saturn with 72 pounds of Plutonium 238 aboard, the Saturnians are Righteously Pissed.  They were quite relaxed in allowing us to zip around their planet looking at the rings and moons, but honestly- dropping 72 pounds of plutonium into their atmosphere?  Not acceptable.  Their war council consisting of eight 4 year old Saturnians has met and a decision has been made.  In retaliation they have launched a WMD, capable of planetary destruction, at the Earth.  They've had enough of this crap.  Plus they've been receiving audio and video of the TV shows like Green Acres and Gilligan's Island for some years now.  They like Arnold Ziffel but the rest of us?  Like bugs to be smashed on a windshield somewhere.

Depending on planetary positioning, Saturn lies between 746 million and one billion miles away or roughly 8 times the distance between the Earth and the Sun. Earth's destruction could come fast to even faster.  Since Saturn's WMD's can travel at close to the speed of light - 186,000 miles per second (rounded) and it takes 8.33 minutes for light to travel from the Sun to Earth, the Earth will be gone in approx 67 minutes.  If you are reading this you are already dead.  Marvin the Martian is dancing.

Damn arrogant JPL people have destroyed us.  Imagine some of the smartest people on Earth, rather than the freakin morons, have destroyed us.  Poetic.

This is the last picture Cassini took of Saturn as it transmitted back to Earth, the message "OH Shit guys, you might not want to do this!"

Click the pic.








Monday, September 11, 2017

I Saw an Article Today That Had an Image of Bernie Sanders in it

And I thought. What a great idea for a new animated sitcom !


Bernie would always be maximum pissed off.  Other animated actors would include nana pelosi, hank capsize johnson, mad maxine waters. and even the hildebeast.

The first episode might go like this:

Bernie rails on republicans, democrats, communists, north koreans, transgenders, people who eat at Butterbees, and anything resembling a Trump supporter.  While this is going on, nana pelosi works on her third bottle of Jim Beam while greasing up a sex toy to stuff up McChuckles butt. hank johnson is in panic mode over Richard Branson's island being capsized by hurricane Emma and that earthquake in Mexico that was caused by Trump pulling out of the Kenya accord.
Mad Maxine Waters' character runs away from baby rabbits screaming the whole time about how they want to kill her, while hilrod clinton blames climate change and Chinese pollution for why she lost the election. Tomorrow it will be rogue tomato plants in North Dakota and depleted Mexicans in the kitchens of Mexican restaurants.

I'm sure you can think of many more Congress clowns who could become characters in this most entertaining of animated sitcoms.



Sunday, September 10, 2017

Like Anyone in Florida is Interested But - Eye of the Hurricane

Clicking what looks like a video will take you to the APOD site for some descriptive dialogue, The video will play there.


Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Sunday, September 3, 2017

Voyager 1 is In Intersteller Space

Launched in 1977, Voyager 1 is representing our species to the rest of the galaxy and universe.

Carl Sagan had V1 look back at the Earth from far out into the solar system and take a picture of us - the Pale Blue Dot suspended in a sunbeam.

Voyager 1 on February 14, 1990. As the spacecraft left our planetary neighborhood for the fringes of the solar system, engineers turned it around for one last look at its home planet. Voyager 1 was about 6.4 billion kilometers (4 billion miles) away, and approximately 32 degrees above the ecliptic plane, when it captured this portrait of our world. Caught in the center of scattered light rays (a result of taking the picture so close to the Sun), Earth appears as a tiny point of light, a crescent only 0.12 pixel in size.

 Voyager 1 also carries a gold record detailing much about our species and location.  I'm not so sure that was a good idea.

Anyway, here is V1 looking out into interstellar space.  It will have plenty of time to think before it encounters any physical object.

It is noted that V1 is 19 light hours from Earth. That is 12,741,715,958.3 miles.

Click the pic for more information, but of course.








Friday, September 1, 2017

Assistance Please - A Guest Post by Mustang

I favor immigration test questions according to self-identified culture, ethnicity, or region of origin.  
Of course, many of the answers would have to be based on the honor system, but under most situations, well-trained immigration bureaucrats should, at the completion of the examination, be able to determine whom they should grant an entry visa to the United States. 

Proposed Test:
  • Immigrants from the Middle East 
    • Can you count to three?  
    • What are the preferred condiments for a roast pork sandwich?  
    • Explain the concept of monogamy.  
    • Have you ever stoned a family female for talking back?  Did she deserve it?
  • Immigrants from Germany, Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Finland 
    • Do you have a sense of humor?  
    • Without any reference at all to Angela Merkel, what is the funniest joke you ever heard?
  • Immigrants from East Asia 
    • Identify at least five dates in the past 30-days when you weren’t angry enough to kill someone with your bare hands. 
    • provide the names of witnesses whose name does not end in a vowel.
  • Immigrants from Central America 
    • Should the United States return California, Arizona, Nevada, New Mexico, and Texas to Mexico?  
    • Have you ever eaten anyone’s heart?  
    • Have you ever had a tattoo composed mostly of numbers or in combination with the letter Z?  
    • Have you ever seen an image of Jesus in a tree limb?
  • Immigrant from New York, Chicago, Detroit, Baltimore, Birmingham, Jackson, Miami 
    •  Who’s your Daddy?  Please limit your responses to no more than three.  
    • Would you vote for someone in return for access to government benefits?  
    • Please explain Kwanza. 
What other queries can be added to these tests to be sure we only let the truly great into our wonderful country?

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Things Are Getting Hinky at North Korea HQ !

Kim: General Wang, Come Qrick !

GW: I'm here Dearest Leader !

K: How was vacation at DPRK Comfort Women Resort ?
 
GW: Fantastic Great Leader ! Sung Ho had such special way of..

K: I'm Knows it Long Time General Wang. But enough about that.  Greatest Tweeter Rearry Plissng me Off !  I'm got more rockets on way.  Where do I shoot next one ?

GW: Points to map.  Kenya !  Only have spears to fight back with !

K: No, Great Tweeter probably rike that.  I thinking Golf Course at Mar-a-Rago place where Trump hide from American medias.

K: General Wang, how can possibly American peoples defeat DPRK when stupid bastards fixated on First lady wearing High Heels to flood zone ?   What the Fluck wrong with these peoples.  No way can they defeat DPRK !

GW: I'm knows it Greatest Leader.  Maybe Trap created by liberal pukes like john McStain who call you crazy you know what.  I can't even say it brilliant leader.

K: Damn good thing General Wang!  Would mean no more trips to DPRK Comfort Zone!   GW: Gulp!

K: General Wang, Consult with non transgender DPRK generals and get back to me tomorrow on new target for ICBM rocket, maybe armed with Nukler warhead or not. Will be biggest Surprise !

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Monday, August 28, 2017

Monday, August 21, 2017

Secret Footage Obtained From the Bridge of the USS John McCain

as the vermin merchant ship headed toward them on a collision course.




No disrespect to those those who have likely lost their lives in this incident.  May peace and comfort come to their families and friends sooner than later.

Fair Winds, Following Seas.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Shocking Revelation Regarding Mitch McConnel and Nancy Pelosi's Sexual Activities



If you've been wondering where these ridiculous facial expressions come from as I have, the images above were captured as Nana, then McChuckles alternately snuck up behind the other and rammed something up each others butt.  They enjoy the sexual hyjinx so !   How Cute !
 (Maxine Waters has been trying to get in on this action for decades, but no ceegar, not even from bubba clinton.)

What fun for them.  Isn't it cute !

Here is a rare pic of them planning their next tete a' tete







And look how cute these pics are - like toddlers anxious to look inside each other's undies.

Here is Mitch completely taken with and lusting over Nana's hind quarters  It even looks like he is drooling doesn't it?



And that look on Nana's face, knowing she has her little slave boy right where she wants him !

But she has her weaknesses too.  Watch as she seems to have her eyes glued to Mitch's backside.






What an Adorable Extramarital couple !

- Andrea Mitchell (reporting for Wolfey Blitzkreig who has had to be restrained in a straight jacket and is undergoing shock therapy after all attempts at removing DJ Trump as President have failed miserably.)

You may be wondering about Mr Pelosi and Mrs McChuckles.  Not to worry.  Mrs Mitch has pool and stable boys to keep her mind off the Mitch/Nana hyjinks and Mr Pelosi has a tri-weekly standing appointment at the Bunny Ranch, just southwest of Tahoe, NV.  All of it paid for by you the American taxpayer.









Saturday, August 19, 2017

In The Interest of Fairness, Let us Compare Violence From the Left and Right

Violence From The Left
June 2016:
- A man arrested at a Trump rally in Las Vegas after trying to grab an officers gun tells authorities he tried to grab the gun so he could kill Donald Trump.
July 2016:
- A Hillary Clinton supporter lights a flag on fire and attacks a Trump supporter in Pittsburgh.
- Protesters jumped on cars, stole hats, fought with and threw eggs at Trump supporters outside a Trump rally in downtown San Jose. Trump supporters sued San Jose over the violence.
August 2016:
- Anti-Trump protesters attacked pushed, spit on and verbally harassed attendees forced to walk a “gauntlet” as they left a Trump fundraiser in Minneapolis, Minn., and beat an elderly man. Protesters also attacked Trump’s motorcade.
– A Tennessee man was assaulted at a garage sale for being a Trump supporter.
- A Trump supporter in New Jersey was attacked with a crowbar on the street.
September 2016:
- Protesters in El Cajon, Calif., chased and beat up a Trump supporter.
2016:
- A GOP office in North Carolina was firebombed and spray painted with “Nazi Republicans get out of town or else.”
2016:
- A high school student was attacked after she wrote that she supported Trump on social media. The perpetrator ripped her glasses off and punched her in the face.
- The president of Cornell University’s College Republicans was assaulted the night after Trump won the election.
- Students protesting Trump punched and kicked a Maryland high school student wearing a Make America Great Again hat.
- A high school student was arrested in Florida after he punched a classmate for carrying a Trump sign at school.
- A group of black men in Chicago attacked a white man while raging against Trump.
- Maryland high school students punched a student who was demonstrating in support of Trump, and then kicked him repeatedly while he was on the ground.
- “You support Trump. You hate Mexicans,” a California high school student yelled at a Trump supporter, before viciously beating the girl.
- An anti-bullying ambassador was arrested for shoving a 74-year-old man to the ground in a fight outside Trump tower where people upset over his win had gathered. The woman tied to Black Lives Matter caused the man to hit his head on the sidewalk.
- A Texas elementary school student was beaten by his classmates for voting for Trump in a mock election.
- Two men punched and kicked a Connecticut man who was standing with an American flag and a Trump sign.
December 2016:
- A Trump supporter was beaten and dragged by a car.
January 2017:
- A Trump supporter was knocked unconscious after airport protesters repeatedly beat him on the head.
-A Trump supporter was attacked after putting out a fire started by anti-Trump protesters.
- When Trump protesters encountered a driver with a pro-Trump flag on his car, they surrounded the vehicle, ripped off and began burning the flag, and pounded the car. They also punctured on the tires.
February 2017:
- California GOP Rep. Tom McClintock had to be escorted to his car after a town hall because of angry protesters. The tires of at least four vehicles were slashed.
- Protestors knocked a 71-year-old female staffer for California GOP Rep. Dana Rohrabacher unconscious during a protest outside the representative’s office.
- Milo Yiannopoulos speech at the University of California-Berkeley was cancelled after rioters set the campus on fire and threw rocks through windows. Milo tweeted that one of his supporters wearing a Trump hat was thrown to the ground and kicked.
March 2017:
- Masked protesters at Middlebury College rushed AEI scholar and political scientist Charles Murray and professor Allison Stranger, pushing and shoving Murray and grabbing Stranger by her hair and twisting her neck as they were leaving a campus building. Stranger suffered a concussion. Protesters then surrounded the car they got into, rocking it back and forth and jumping on the hood.
April 2017:
- A parade in Portland, Ore.,was canceled after threats of violence were made against a Republican organisation.
- Fears of violent protests shut down Ann Coulter’s UC Berkeley speech. Campus police had gathered intel on protesters who were planning to commit violence.
May 2017:
– Republican Rep. Tom Garrett, his family and his dog were targeted by a series of repeated death threats deemed credible by authorities.
- FBI agents arrested a person for threatening to shoot Republican Rep. Martha McSally over her support for Trump.
- Police in Tennessee charged a woman for allegedly trying to run Republican Rep. David Kustoff off the road.
- Police in North Dakota ejected a man after he became physical with Republican Rep. Kevin Cramer at a town hall.
- A former professor was arrested after police said they identified him on video beating Trump supporters with a U-shaped bike lock, leaving three people with “significant injuries.”
June 2017:
- James Hodgkinson opened fire on a congressional GOP baseball practice, injuring five, including House Majority Whip Steve Scalise.
- Republican Rep. Claudia Tenney received an email threat that read, “One down, 216 to go,” shortly after the shooting at the Republican congressional baseball practice.
- A man driving a white Malibu reportedly fired several shots at a man driving a truck displaying a “Make America Great Again” flag in Indiana.


MUCH More violence and houliganism from the left can be found at our friend's diligent reporting site based in San Francisco -


Violence Perpetrated By The Right
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Gimme a minute I'm still looking