Hat Tip Bunkerville
As the Salvation Army board meeting begins, Chairman Bill presents his opening remarks...
As you all know, this year will be particularly hard on many more of our cherished neighbors. People on the street without homes including military folks who were pushed out of service for refusing the life giving vaccine. Mothers shivering next to run down businesses trying to keep their little baby girls alive by feeding them snow. Let's not forget our newly acquired unaccompanied minors without food or shelter from places like Mexico, Honduras, Afghanistan, and other nightmare places. Many more suffering this holiday season and into the foreseeable future. I'd like to throw this out to the group for their ideas on how we can increase donations so we can help more of these people.
Lucille Wyatte Reynolds stands and after stating her and her group have been working on this very thing, they have come up with advertisements for TV and internet video showing these very people suffering in the streets. Overlaying these images is a translucent video of older folks ringing bells and standing by the brightly colored donation buckets. As the money pours into the buckets by well to do passers by, the images of the suffering people fade and eventually disappear from view. The end of the advert shows people consisting of the donators and the almost saintly collectors manning the collection buckets standing in huge groups all shouting "We Did It" as they smile and dump even more hard earned cash into the bright red buckets.
Bill seems pleased but just then, LaQaudo Johnson, the new diversity hire for the board stands and says "Bill, I have another suggestion.. I suggest we place ads consisting of our African-American brothers and sisters moving around in some Jive Ass fashion in front of our section 8 houses and all rapping out - This season we want all you white crackers to come into our neighborhoods and kiss our black asses while begging us to forgive you for your constant racism and sheeeeit- ".
Lucille looks disgusted but Bill looks thoughtful for a few moments and explains to the group "You know if our board is going to be truly diverse, we can't just dismiss the ideas of our new diversity members, we must put our mouths where our money is. We will go with LaQuado's advertising plan"
Roseanne, quiet at the end of the meeting table mutters to herself "I knew this diversity shit was a bad idea.."
