Monday, September 18, 2017

BREAKING NEWS !

Because the Earth has recently directed the Cassini research spacecraft to plunge into Saturn with 72 pounds of Plutonium 238 aboard, the Saturnians are Righteously Pissed.  They were quite relaxed in allowing us to zip around their planet looking at the rings and moons, but honestly- dropping 72 pounds of plutonium into their atmosphere?  Not acceptable.  Their war council consisting of eight 4 year old Saturnians has met and a decision has been made.  In retaliation they have launched a WMD, capable of planetary destruction, at the Earth.  They've had enough of this crap.  Plus they've been receiving audio and video of the TV shows like Green Acres and Gilligan's Island for some years now.  They like Arnold Ziffel but the rest of us?  Like bugs to be smashed on a windshield somewhere.

Depending on planetary positioning, Saturn lies between 746 million and one billion miles away or roughly 8 times the distance between the Earth and the Sun. Earth's destruction could come fast to even faster.  Since Saturn's WMD's can travel at close to the speed of light - 186,000 miles per second (rounded) and it takes 8.33 minutes for light to travel from the Sun to Earth, the Earth will be gone in approx 67 minutes.  If you are reading this you are already dead.  Marvin the Martian is dancing.

Damn arrogant JPL people have destroyed us.  Imagine some of the smartest people on Earth, rather than the freakin morons, have destroyed us.  Poetic.

This is the last picture Cassini took of Saturn as it transmitted back to Earth, the message "OH Shit guys, you might not want to do this!"

Click the pic.








Monday, September 11, 2017

I Saw an Article Today That Had an Image of Bernie Sanders in it

And I thought. What a great idea for a new animated sitcom !


Bernie would always be maximum pissed off.  Other animated actors would include nana pelosi, hank capsize johnson, mad maxine waters. and even the hildebeast.

The first episode might go like this:

Bernie rails on republicans, democrats, communists, north koreans, transgenders, people who eat at Butterbees, and anything resembling a Trump supporter.  While this is going on, nana pelosi works on her third bottle of Jim Beam while greasing up a sex toy to stuff up McChuckles butt. hank johnson is in panic mode over Richard Branson's island being capsized by hurricane Emma and that earthquake in Mexico that was caused by Trump pulling out of the Kenya accord.
Mad Maxine Waters' character runs away from baby rabbits screaming the whole time about how they want to kill her, while hilrod clinton blames climate change and Chinese pollution for why she lost the election. Tomorrow it will be rogue tomato plants in North Dakota and depleted Mexicans in the kitchens of Mexican restaurants.

I'm sure you can think of many more Congress clowns who could become characters in this most entertaining of animated sitcoms.



Sunday, September 10, 2017

Like Anyone in Florida is Interested But - Eye of the Hurricane

Clicking what looks like a video will take you to the APOD site for some descriptive dialogue, The video will play there.


Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Sunday, September 3, 2017

Voyager 1 is In Intersteller Space

Launched in 1977, Voyager 1 is representing our species to the rest of the galaxy and universe.

Carl Sagan had V1 look back at the Earth from far out into the solar system and take a picture of us - the Pale Blue Dot suspended in a sunbeam.

Voyager 1 on February 14, 1990. As the spacecraft left our planetary neighborhood for the fringes of the solar system, engineers turned it around for one last look at its home planet. Voyager 1 was about 6.4 billion kilometers (4 billion miles) away, and approximately 32 degrees above the ecliptic plane, when it captured this portrait of our world. Caught in the center of scattered light rays (a result of taking the picture so close to the Sun), Earth appears as a tiny point of light, a crescent only 0.12 pixel in size.

 Voyager 1 also carries a gold record detailing much about our species and location.  I'm not so sure that was a good idea.

Anyway, here is V1 looking out into interstellar space.  It will have plenty of time to think before it encounters any physical object.

It is noted that V1 is 19 light hours from Earth. That is 12,741,715,958.3 miles.

Click the pic for more information, but of course.








Friday, September 1, 2017

Assistance Please - A Guest Post by Mustang

I favor immigration test questions according to self-identified culture, ethnicity, or region of origin.  
Of course, many of the answers would have to be based on the honor system, but under most situations, well-trained immigration bureaucrats should, at the completion of the examination, be able to determine whom they should grant an entry visa to the United States. 

Proposed Test:
  • Immigrants from the Middle East 
    • Can you count to three?  
    • What are the preferred condiments for a roast pork sandwich?  
    • Explain the concept of monogamy.  
    • Have you ever stoned a family female for talking back?  Did she deserve it?
  • Immigrants from Germany, Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Finland 
    • Do you have a sense of humor?  
    • Without any reference at all to Angela Merkel, what is the funniest joke you ever heard?
  • Immigrants from East Asia 
    • Identify at least five dates in the past 30-days when you weren’t angry enough to kill someone with your bare hands. 
    • provide the names of witnesses whose name does not end in a vowel.
  • Immigrants from Central America 
    • Should the United States return California, Arizona, Nevada, New Mexico, and Texas to Mexico?  
    • Have you ever eaten anyone’s heart?  
    • Have you ever had a tattoo composed mostly of numbers or in combination with the letter Z?  
    • Have you ever seen an image of Jesus in a tree limb?
  • Immigrant from New York, Chicago, Detroit, Baltimore, Birmingham, Jackson, Miami 
    •  Who’s your Daddy?  Please limit your responses to no more than three.  
    • Would you vote for someone in return for access to government benefits?  
    • Please explain Kwanza. 
What other queries can be added to these tests to be sure we only let the truly great into our wonderful country?