BREAKING NEWS !
Because the Earth has recently directed the Cassini research spacecraft to plunge into Saturn with 72 pounds of Plutonium 238 aboard, the Saturnians are Righteously Pissed. They were quite relaxed in allowing us to zip around their planet looking at the rings and moons, but honestly- dropping 72 pounds of plutonium into their atmosphere? Not acceptable. Their war council consisting of eight 4 year old Saturnians has met and a decision has been made. In retaliation they have launched a WMD, capable of planetary destruction, at the Earth. They've had enough of this crap. Plus they've been receiving audio and video of the TV shows like Green Acres and Gilligan's Island for some years now. They like Arnold Ziffel but the rest of us? Like bugs to be smashed on a windshield somewhere.
Depending on planetary positioning, Saturn lies between 746 million and one billion miles away or roughly 8 times the distance between the Earth and the Sun. Earth's destruction could come fast to even faster. Since Saturn's WMD's can travel at close to the speed of light - 186,000 miles per second (rounded) and it takes 8.33 minutes for light to travel from the Sun to Earth, the Earth will be gone in approx 67 minutes. If you are reading this you are already dead. Marvin the Martian is dancing.
Damn arrogant JPL people have destroyed us. Imagine some of the smartest people on Earth, rather than the freakin morons, have destroyed us. Poetic.
This is the last picture Cassini took of Saturn as it transmitted back to Earth, the message "OH Shit guys, you might not want to do this!"
Click the pic.
Planned Obsolescence to the nth degree.
ReplyDeleteIn PC terms, You would think there would have been pressure to recycle.
Was there an Environmental Impact Statement?
:)
ED, the democrats authorized a 3 trillion environmental impact study Years ago. It was worthless and only put 3 trillion more $ in the hands of evil. It also resulted in dropping leaflets of fugley democrat politicians into the clouds of Saturn which only served to piss them off even more. Saturians are not down with the ugly, like the governorette of Oregon who recently approved taxpayer funded child killing abortions for anyone and everyone. I have no doubt that if a Bangladeshi female standing in 3 feet of water due to global warming wanted an abortion they would find a way to fund it.
DeleteEd, there wasn't enough power for Cassini to make the 7 year journey back to Earth. It was hard enough for NASA to go against the protests about the 72 lbs. of Plutonium 238 and launch the craft in the first place. Cassini may not even have been a mission had they required more Plutonium for the ride back. Sometimes planned obsolescence is all you have to work with.
Delete"If you are reading this you are already dead." Arnold Ziffel and I commend you. As for the ensuing Saturian response. Everyone out into the hall and kneel against the wall with your blogs over your heads.
ReplyDeleteDaBlade, Danke Shoen. Yes, the dim ones will duck and cover. The rest of us will be on the front porch with a sufficient quantity of red wine watching libtards being blown to smitherines moments before we ourselves take the big ride as we applaud the total destruction of evil on this topsey turvey, pedophilic, moslem vermin, child sex trafficking, politician perversion, dysfunctional driver, transgender, exhaust pipe raping, vermin appeasing, loser planet.
DeleteA Toast to all of you !
They like Arnold Ziffel but the rest of us? Like bugs to be smashed on a windshield somewhere.
ReplyDeleteCan't blame the Saturnians for that!
AOW, Scanning the "news" neither can I ! lol.
DeleteWhether it comes from Saturn or not, we're all just bugs just waiting for a windshield.
DeleteMaybe they'll forgive us if we send them our Democrats.
ReplyDeleteSam, as mentioned above they HATE the fugley. This would only make it worse for the rest of us. But I appreciate your input.
DeleteYou're late to the party, Sam. Imp and I have been trying to convince Kid of this for a few years now. Apparently, he likes his Democrats ... won't send them anywhere beyond the moon.
ReplyDeleteMustang, I have sent so many democrats to the moon it would make your head spin. Rest assured they are in stocks on mMain Street, Tranquility Base, 1st through 137th boulder to the left, with their pants down and hind quarters facing the sun.
DeleteAfter all we need economical solutions in the end.
I clicked and ws told "Safari cannot open this page."
ReplyDeleteWas THAT the point, or am I really missing something?
Maybe I'm just opaque?
FT, Apple has now joined the ranks of evil and will refuse to show you conservative brilliance through their propriatery browser.
DeleteKid,
DeleteIn other words, Apple is going the way of Google. The war against freedom of expression is on.
This raises a VERY important point. The Computer Industry – like the TV industry before ut –– has effectively acted like a PIED PIPER who with FALSES promises of Greater Freedom and Conveience has led us lemmings into a TRAP where will will be systematically DEPRIVED of ACCESS to KNOWLEDGE –– and ultimately to LIBERTY, herself, –– by those would-be TYRANTS who MAN the MACHINERY certain to SUBJUGATE us to the will of Central Command and Control.
DeleteOrwell's Nineteen-Eighty-Four made manifest.
It's truly CHIILLING what we –– in our slothful, indolent search for greater Ease and Comfort –– have done to ourselves.
I've enjoyed the ease and speed with which we can do research on the net to be sure, but I have ALSO been aware that the impending death of PRINTED BOOKS and PERIODICAL LITERATURE will eventually lead to ever-tightening CENSORSHIP and 'REVISION" of what we are ALLOWED to learn.
This should be every bit as terrifying as the threat of Nucear Winter.
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DeleteFT,
DeleteI like your analogy of a nuclear winter.
I avail myself of both digital and hard copy material. But I notice that I don't have sufficient attention span to read some material in digital form even though I have no difficulty with that same material in hard copy form. There's something about touching the hard copy that triggers important synapses -- at least, that is my theory.
There is no Frigate like a Book
DeleteTo take us Lands away,
Nor any Coursers like a Page
Of prancing Poetry ––
This Traverse may the poorest take
Without oppress of Toll ––
How frugal is the Chariot
That bears a Human soul.
~ Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)
ALSO while we're talking about the vurtues of tangible written matter::
DeleteGoing to him! Happy letter! Tell him —
Tell him the page I didn’t write;
Tell him I only said the syntax,
And left the verb and the pronoun out.
Tell him just how the fingers hurried,
Then how they waded, slow, slow, slow;
And then you wished you had eyes in your pages,
So you could see what moved them so.
“Tell him it wasn’t a practised writer,
You guessed, from the way the sentence toiled;
You could hear the bodice tug, behind you,
As if it held but the might of a child;
You almost pitied it, you, it worked so.
Tell him — No, you may quibble there,
For it would split his heart to know it,
And then you and I were silenter.
“Tell him night finished before we finished,
And the old clock kept neighing ‘day!’
And you got sleepy and begged to be ended —
What could it hinder so, to say?
Tell him just how she sealed you, cautious,
But if he ask where you are hid
Until tomorrow, — happy letter!
Gesture, coquette, and shake your head!”
~ Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)
I've often wondered if Emily would still have been the "Emily" I;ve known and loved so many years, if the computer had been available to her?
I still write most of my poems on yellow foolscap preferable near a window that gives me a view of the garden. I can't say why, but I THINK very differently that way than I do sitting in my spartan office at this machine.
ONE MORE. I find these pleasanty revealing:
DeleteThe way I read a letter’s this:
’Tis first I lock the door,
And push it with my fingers next,
For transport it be sure.
And then I go the furthest off
To counteract a knock;
Then draw my little letter forth
And softly pick its lock.
Then, glancing narrow at the wall,
And narrow at the floor,
For firm conviction of a mouse
Not exorcised before,
Peruse how infinite I am
To — no one that you know!
And sigh for lack of heaven, — but not
The heaven the creeds bestow.
~ Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)
Would it be possble for anyone to respond to an EMAIL with such fervor and delight? Somehow I doubt it.
Back when I taught the lower grades, "There is no Frigate like a Book" was required memorization.
DeleteFT, imo - Even sitting by a window looking at the garden can give you a sense of the bigger picture. You need the big picture to be creative.
DeleteExactly right, Kid. You also need a heathy measure of SOLITUDE.
DeleteInsights rarely come in the midst of a noisy cocktail party full of chattering people all trying to impress each other with how smart, clever, beautifu; or important they are.
It's also almost impossible to exercise a capacity to ENVISION a deeper, more stimulating, more pentrating, more satisfying view of life when you're involved in a COMMITTEE meeting.
Is it any wonder then that most members of congress are such hopeless, unimaginative, ineffectual , self-absorbed dullards?
FT, Exacterly. I imagine few politicians have any bead on the big picture. I imagine McChuckles and nana pelosi have even less as they spend their time counting their money and sniffing each others butts.
Delete