BP Keeps Dickin Around With This Oil Well.

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Hey, I could be wrong, but from the webcam pictures I've seen of this "Cap" they put on the well head, I'm going to go ahead and say they're going about this wrong.

Rather than put something Over the well head, which is a piece of pipe sticking out of the ocean floor. Picture the end of your exhaust pipe coming out the back of your car, only one that is straight and has no bends in it.

And from when they cut the pipe off to get it to be pointing straight up from the ocean floor which that big scissor like tool, the pipe is not perfectly round either.

Imagine some gorilla of a mechanic hit your exhaust pipe with a big hammer. So, it's not round anymore. Cause he's a jerk.

Now, rather than try to put something OVER it and try to seal something which isn't round, which is impossible unless the thing you put over it is the same shape as the out of round pipe, it would be much easier to put something INTO it. And if the thing that you put into it is tapered, and you can jam it in with enough force, you can actually make the pipe round again.  This, in fact is very similar to what they do to repair flattened or out of round exhaust pipes that some stupid jerk grease monkey did to your exhaust pipe.
(7-12-10, actually talking about this with a coworker and he pointed out you could make the tapered tube out of a slightly softer metal, and as you drove it in, it would conform to the shape of the well tube.  Certainly a good idea without risking damaging the well tube any further.)  

So here is what you'd stick in there. Picture the needle they use to stick into your artery to take blood. And while we're at it, try to picture that they poke a hole in your arm, then try to stick something over it to try to catch the blood squirting out.

So, picture the pointy or small end being inserted into the well tube, and you simply keep inserting it until the outside walls of this tube come in contact with the inside walls of the well tube and voila, you're catching a hell of a lot more oil, if not all of it.

And the pointy end doesn't need to be this small, it only needs to be slightly smaller than what it's being inserted into.

The big end of course would be connected to a pipe leading to the surface and waiting super-tankers who are collecting the oil.  And whatever you're doing to deal with natural gas bubbles and such, you can now do on the surface rather than a mile down into the ocean, a much easier task I'd imagine.

One might think, ah, they've surely thought of this.  Seems to me, they haven't thought of very feakin much so far.

No smoking of course Monsieur.
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