The Trump-Biden Debates Begin.

Beady Eyed Democrat Tool Chris Wallace: "Welcome to the 1st of 319 debates between our incumbent president Donald J Trump and Presidential hopeful - Joe "Huckleberry" Biden.  Let's start things off with a question for Mr Trump."

Joe nervously whispering to himself "319?? Wow, that's.. that's... that's higher than anyone can count..."

CW: "Mr Trump, how do you respond to accusations that you destroyed the economy by ignoring the Covid-19 Pandemic."

DJT: Well, that's nonsense.  In fact, Sleepy Joe actually has plans to infect little girls with the virus by rubbing it all over their bodies while sniffing them, then he's going to send them into every nursing home in the country pretending to be the grandchildren of inmates at these facilities to infect them and kill them.  This is his plan for social security - kill all the older people.  When he's finished that he'll start on the middle aged, then the Millennials, then the Gen Zrs.  The only ones he will keep alive will be young girls below the age of 14.  He'll have them shipped to the White House, stripped of their clothing, and packed into every room until the place looks like the inside of a sardine can, then he will...

CW: "Ok, Mr Trump, I think we get the picture, let's give Mr Biden a chance to respond."

SJ:  Folks, Folks.. I've never touched a girl over the age of 12.  In fact I would have stopped this virus in its tracks by inviting Chinese men and women of all denominations from the Wuhan area of China to come to the United States to prove they don't have the virus.  They could feel my leg hairs all day long if they want.  I will of course be wearing a mask to protect those young girls sitting over there in the audience.  Girls, stand up and come on over here for a minute.... Ah, that's better...  What's your name honey?

CW: "Mr Biden, please tell us what you will do to combat this climate crisis."

SJ:  Wait girls, don't run off... ah well. Now look, we've got a 15 point plan to nip this climate catastrophe right in the shorts. First, I'm going to take it out in back of the gym and knock the stuffing out of it.  Then I'll be placing our party's climate genius -Alexandria Ocleaveous-Cortez in charge of all the details of our Green New Green Jeans Deal and I'm going to make America pay for it with 100 trillion in new taxes.  Simple.

If my opponent is allowed to remain in office - get ready folks.  Climate change, in just a matter of days, will create hurricanes and tornadoes that will plague every city in America every day, all day.  Women's clothes will be ripped off their male and female bodies from the constant high winds just like they were attacked by herds of rabid alligators and chipmunks.   Well, that part is Ok I guess, but then every city in America will be consumed by the same type of wild fires happening right now all over the globe in California and they'll be turned to ash !  The high winds will blow the ashes of these cities out to sea never to be seen again. Folks, we'll all be Killed !  Well, most of you anyway. You old guys and most of you other guys.  Girls, come back up here again, I've got some candy to give out.

CW: "Mr Trump, your rebuttal please."

DJT:  Joe you ignorant pedophile slut.  Climate Change doesn't exist.  It was manufactured by your pals over in China along with the mostly fake virus to damage our great nation that I Have Made Great Again by not even trying hard.  It was simple. This I will tell you. Believe me. Believe me.  To my fellow Americans I say that if you elect Sleepy Joe, the demented pedophile sociopath career politician, China will OWN America.  China and Iran.  Russia too.  And Iran.  China will come in here with their chopsticks and slice us up into little square pieces and feed us to the dogs.  After we're gone, they'll eat the dogs.  And the nice kitties and all the rest of the animals too. And..

CW: "Your time is up Mr Trump.  Ok, Another question for Mr Biden.  Mr Biden, how are you going to get this economy back to where it was, the greatest ever, at the point you and Barack Obama left office."

SJ:  Well, I think the correct answer is C, but I'd like to use one of my lifelines and phone a friend. (Calls B Obama... Ring..... ring..... ring.... ring.....Obama sitting by phone naked and laughing like he's being tickled again by his pal Richard Branson... ) I guess Ba, bar, .... my old boss isn't home right now.  Ok, I'm going to go with answer C.

CW: "I'm afraid there is no answer C Mr Biden, that's a different program. I'm going to have to go to Mr Trump now for a rebuttal."

DJT: To fix the economy from the current attack of the mostly fake virus and from the democrat run House that sits around guzzling booze and watching porn instead of working for America, I'm going to lower taxes yet again. Lowest they've ever been since they were created.  Then I'm going to cancel every other agreement that was made with our (air quotes) Allies by the evil democrats that have done nothing but punish America and the American taxpayer.  I'm going to tell all those scum sucking socialist and communist pigs that it is time for them to carry their end of the log.  If they can't do it then to hell with them.  Let them suffer in anguish for eternity for all I care.  That's right Sleepy Joe - China will be stopping payment on those checks they sent you and your cokehead deadbeat son Hunter.

CW: "Mr Biden, you have 5 minutes for a rebuttal."

DJT:  Well that'll be about 4 minutes and 55 seconds too long......

SJ: Waves flow over the ocean,  waves flow over the sea, I wish those girls would come back up here and rub themselves all over me.  (Joe looking very confused but continues)  ... I don't know about you folks, but I'm voting for Donald Trump in November.  Come On Man who screwed up my teleprompter ?!   Jill, can you start bringing those young girls home from grade school again like you used to ?  Jill, where are ya honey ? 

DJT: (Hand over mouth laughing like a hyena.)

CW:  "It looks like this debate has come to a close.  Join us again tomorrow evening for debate number 2.  Good Night Folks and thanks for tuning in."