In The News in The Year Of Our Lord 2018 on January 19th

Pentagon says that now that IS IS is now Was Was, we are focusing on the Russians and the Chinese.

James Mattis tells us that the Russins have excellent vodka and hookers and the

Chinese make an excellent hangover cure called Dim Sum.

Harvard Law School professor Lawrence Lessig says there’s still a scenario in which Hillary Clinton becomes president.  This is the kind of shit your kid is going into debt 100 grand to listen to.

A candidate for the Democratic presidential nomination himself, Mr. Lessig envisioned a 

scenario in which President Trump resigns or is impeached due to even the slightest Russia collusion connection to his campaign, then Vice President Mike Pence 

resigns or is impeached, and House Speaker Paul D. Ryan — who would be next 

in line — nominates Mrs. Clinton to be his vice president, and then steps aside to let her have the job.

If that isn't enough to prove the mental retardation of this Harvard professor, let's recognize that everyone on the face of the Earth is well aware of the rock solid evidence

of the clinton collusion with Russia in the 2016 campaign.

As well - let's realize that when democrats are squawking about Trump's potential physical health issues, we all know that security/medical people are dragging the clinton beast up steps or picking her up to toss her into her van to head to the next destination - probably Walmart 

for a few more cases of adult diapers.

Democrats fail in impeachment bid hours before shutdown.

A smallish collection of racist and insane democrat congresspersons has once again failed to get any support for initiating impeachment proceedings on the greatest president America has known in over 100 years.  They now demand cookies, ice cream, coloring books, play-doh and counselors to help them through this latest crisis.

Televangelist Kenneth Copeland thanks donors, Jesus for buying him a private jet.

Who in the hell sends a televangelist money.  Who? 

Folks, kneel beside your bed at night and thank God for all you have, then pray for what you don't and keep your money.

MLB players balk at proposed 18 minute pitch clock.

Major League pitchers are balking at a time restriction on when they must throw the next pitch.

Mets pitcher Mohammed Ali Achmed, El Newark complains "This is hardly enough time to give my nuts a good scratch and extract more camel fleas 

from my beard before I must throw ball again .  Praise be to allah".

Nana Pelosi calls GOP budget bill Doggy Doo.  Your last 2 heartbeats away from the Oval Office contender.

 Nana Pelosi, determined to avoid having anyone think she might be sane has gone off 

into another meaningless rant about things she knows nothing about.

In a related story from across the pond, UK;s Tory MP's apparently have little problem sending their secretaries out to shop for sex toys and have their MP's describe their breasts as 'sugar tits' without consequence..

"Oh how I wish we could do that here in America" exclaimed Nancy Pelosi.

New Director of the Consumer Financial Protection Thingamabob, Mr Mulvaney has sent in a SHOCKING budget request for 2018.

They are requesting $0.00.

Lots of Sports News !

Who gives a shit.

Trump to meet with British Prime Minister at Swiss Conference.

Big Sex Romp planned at secret Swiss Hotel.  Theresa May hopes President Trump will bring sex toys and give her a 

rousing spanking with a copy of the latest Forbes magazine.

Trump Travel cost taxpayers 13 million over the last year says watchkitty group.

At 13 mil a year that's about 104 million over 8 years.  Over 800 million less than the obama's spent on travel.  But don't let that derail your hate for Trump and "rich people".

Afghanistan tells USA  'Don't get your camels upset over a government shutdown.  We shutdown our government 16 years ago and it's still no big deal.

Self-explanatory (And stolen from Duffel Blog)

Yea, that convicted traitor bradley manning is running for Senate somewhere.

What will tomorrow's news bring?