Monday, August 7, 2017

An Intimate Interview With Maxine Waters





Andrea Michell: Maxine, what has been your best day in Congress in the 107 years you've been serving?

Maxine: Well Andrea, and I thank you for asking!  I think my best day was when Barack and I split the 170 million dollars we got as kickback from the Solyndra matter.  It was so sad that this Thriving and Vital company failed because of the Right Wing attacks on the Very Important climate change we are dealing with.  They were going to cover the Earth with solar panels blocking out the sun to every other living thing, but in the end, 85 million dollars can go a long way to making up for a sad situation.  I was so happy in fack, that I let Hank Johnson have sex with me later that day. ha ha ha.  At one point, I thought Hank was going to Tip Over and Capsize. ha ho ho.  And that's all I'm going to say about that !

Andrea: What a cute story Maxine !

Andrea: Maxine, I understand you are very interested in American advances in Space travel, have you heard anything new there that you can tell us about.

Maxine: Well. I found it odd and depressing that no one could tell me whether we'd be able to see the lunar lander when our spaceship was in low orbit over Mars. No wait a minute, that was my Very Good Friend - Sheila Jackson-Lee who was so anxious to see our flag planted on Mars by the lunar landers.  I do get confused sometimes !  ho ho ho.  This work for the American people can be so exhausting Amelia.

Andrea: Yes Maxine. We so appreciate the very hard work you do day in and day out.
Alright Maxine, tell me what your plans are for when you are President of These United States.  Don't be coy with me, I know you've been thinking hard about it.  Who will be your running mate.  We are all assuming it will be Nancy Pelosi the legislative Genius, but do you have a surprise for us ?!

Maxine: Well Adrienne, I can't tell you anything about my choice for running mate, I'm still taking bids, er I mean going through the resume's !  But I will say there will be two black women at the top of the pile.  We've had enough old white cracker asse.. Oh Excuse me !  Enough old white crackers running this country.  They've all got theirs and it's time some black women got theirs too !

Now what would I do as President of Russia, er I mean the United States.
 Well, as you probably know, the first thing I will do is Impeach Donald Trump !  That needs to happen !  And then I will impeach Putin and Pence.  Bof a dem.

Andrea:  Thank you so much Maxine, unfortunately we are out of time !   I have to cutaway to my interview with Russian President Vladimir Putin.  I would love for you to come back some time.

Maxine:  I will look forward to it Anastasia !

Andrea,  Now here is a pre-recorded interview I so magnificently hosted with the Russian President Putin.

Andrea: First off Mr Putin, I must say I didn't appreciate having my pants dropped by your foreign minister Sergei Lavrov the last time I was here and...




Putin: Отже, де саме ви дізналися ваші манери? 

English: So, where exactly Did you learn your manners?

Andrea: Well, um, Vladimir, what do you think of Maxine Water's claims of election interference..

Putin: суку, що дурний повинен бути введений в табір ГУЛАГу і ганчіркою, заправлені в її рот. Suka Blyat !

English: that stupid bitch needs to be put into a gulag and a rag stuffed into her mouth. (rest is censored)

Putin: I візьмемо цей паршивий привід для людини на ведмедя полювання поїздки і з що обличчя і перуку, я впевнений, що хтось буде сумка її перший день.

Американці повинні прийняти пізніше практиці римляни та обирати коней до їх Сенату. They б набагато краще. 

English: I'll take that lousy excuse for a human on a bear hunting trip. With that face and wig, I am confident someone will bag her the first day.   The Americans should adopt the later practice of the Romans and elect Horses to their Senate.  They'd be much better off.

I don't think we need any more clarification from President Putin on the matter.

Andrea, [the arrogant bitch] signing off.

37 comments :

  1. KID...you sunova beech...ya did it again...I'm peeing my pants ( my bladder loves ya ) splitting my sides off once again ...god damn man...youcan'tkeepdoingthisshittome ( using our secret code, OK? ). This time my wife said gotohell I don't care if you choke too death...tell your friends they're doing me a favor anyway by rushing you along to saint hood....( she thinks ima good catholic and the pope and me play poker on Monday night cause the church banks have to get filled up on Sunday and they have to pay up the vigs on a Monday so we can play with it...heyyyy...don't get pissed off at me you catholics....they're all Italians right? And just carry on this quaint Sicilian traditions . Carry on Fodder Kid...

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    1. GEDDOUDAHERE! Most of dem Catlicks is Irish or Hispanish. De Vatican is surrounded now by AYTEEISTS. Dem Eyetalyuns don't buleeb in nuttin no more. Day gave all dat shit up wit Moose O'leenyi.

      Betcha nevva noo da Moose was Irish, didja? };^)>

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  2. IMP, SO happy you enjoyed it. I had to work on this one, there just isn't enough depth with Maxine ya know. :-)

    So will your wife give me a sort of reverse finders fee if you die in front of a Pussycat post? hahah

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  4. ____________ A TOXIC NEGRESS ____________

    Would sane men want to see their darling daughters
    Become a psychopath like Maxine Waters?

    Better they should die in a car crash
    Than emulate that piece of Afro-Trash.

    There isn't any adequate excuse
    For us to have to suffer her abuse.

    Her right to speak we're forced to leave alone,
    But must we give the bitch a megaphone?


    ~ Anne Animus

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    1. FT...... many thanks for owning that new coinage of "Afro-Trash"..... so many are totally complacent about wearing this well deserved crown. Stunning achievement isn't it?

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  5. Please keep this one up for a few days, Kid. It takes some of us more time to appreciate good satire. It's so much better than the standard hate rhetoric we get from all sides these days.

    I hope you will soon produce a great hit piece on Bladdermuth McConnell and Paul "For Cryin' Out Loud" Ryan.

    In my book they're even worse than Suzoo Collins and Mad Mean Maxine.

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    1. FT Yea, McChuckles and Eddie Munster have possibilities.

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  6. Haha! I had forgotten about that Mars 'lunar' lander flag thingy. Fantastic! Maxine is about as bright as a mars rock on the dark side of the moon.

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  7. :-) and I left an important comment on murkowski --and the traitor RINOs of the R party on the post right below this on :-)

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  8. Isn’t it interesting that the same kind of morons that created the Soviet Union now attack (former communist) Russian officials from the bench of the American press? Not only is Andrea Mitchell under-educated for her position, she is also lacks a sophisticated appreciation for human nature. If one hopes to elicit a “reportable event” in the news, how one couches his or her question should be designed in such a way as to get that reportable event. Challenging the foreign minister in a high squawky voice isn’t going to achieve that. At Mitchell’s age, lacking this understanding makes her a stupid woman. Her degree in English Literature doesn’t make her less so.

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    1. Mustang, I suspect that since Alan Greenspan humps like a rabbit on PCP, she has gained an absurdly high opinion of herself.

      Beyond that Do you find it interesting how Arrogant the American press have gotten? From this creature to Acosta, to etc etc etc. They go into briefings trying to make news, not report it. Hey assholes, we didn't invite you here to debate, only to report.

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  9. I feel as though I should say something about Maxine Waters ... but you know what? The only thing I could say about her is that I hope one day, one of her constituents will show up at her door and "get even" for all of her corruption at their expense.

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    1. Mustang, I've seen articles written saying the blacks should be mad that the illegals she protects are taking their jobs. As you may have guessed, I believe the blacks are very happy someone else is working a job that a social worker might otherwise pressure them to take. Quite happy indeed.

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    2. KID....right on you are again along with Mr. Mustang. This is now firmly embedded into the 3rd generations sub "culture".

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  10. Who deserves to be given a Sanity Test more –– Maxine Waters, herself, –– or the assholes who vote her into office?

    Should those who fail to pass a standardized Sanity Test still be permitted either to run for office or to vote?

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    1. FT, Since it is about impossible to measure an IQ score below 69 (2nd para.) neither test would be valid in a court of law anywhere north of San Salvador. Sadly.

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    2. FT, PS, last one I took online (maybe questionable quality) scored me 143. Today it would probably be 142..

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  11. FT..... you sure ask a valid question about who or what "voted" for this James Brown in drag? Ya see.... 50 years later most blacks think that anything you can put over on the "man" is completely justified. Problem is they're too stupid to know she's never going to split her scam with them!

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    1. IMP, yea, but she's keeping them at home, breeding, doping, and shopping Amazon for some new 22 inch Chrome rims with spinners for their Black Escalade with Red leather interior.

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    2. I agree with you, Imp. Black culture has nothing to offer, nothing to recommend it to any civilized society.

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  12. Sadly, this satire actually makes Maxine look smarter than she actually is. Nevertheless a highly entertaining read.

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    1. Dean, Agree on the Maxine. Real piece. Glad you enjoyed it. I need the funny to balance out the rest.

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    2. PS, there's some more funny down the page in the last couple months. I particularly enjoyed the James Comey one that came out of the blue.

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  13. Well.... I have to say it KID.... I'm loving this house of yours so much that I've elevated it to my Favorites in my Safari task bar.... right alongside Mr. Mustangs Fixed, Thoughts, Geeez, bunkerville, AOW, CI's house and FT's . It's hard to keep up with the most excellent reads and there are more by god too.... all this superb thinking from all these loser deplorables running free whose words fill the blogosphere with the truths..... that we hold so dearly and self evident. God bless you all for keeping it out there. Read by thousands I'm certain..... comments by the best.

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    1. IMP, I am HUMBLED. Truly. I hope the channel stays open and I can keep it coming.

      With all the insanity and shit for brains going on, I have to think in other terms else I'd get pretty depressed and screw that :) Thank you.

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    2. We don't ever want to see you humbled KID...we don't want you to change one damn bit...Got it?

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    3. Ok, IMP, Think of me as a Naval Aviator then.

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    4. Naval Aviator? WELL...We AIRMEN usually hump them for fun on Friday night and weekend leaves...cause no one wants to hump a Waf! Besides they're also damn cute dressed in those Good Humor outfits. So we give them....Ice Scream!

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  14. Kid - this is absolutely brilliant. Once again Feedly let me down and I'm just now seeing it. Mad Max is a repugnant "human" being. I can hardly stand to look at her. And Andrea M? My fondest memory is of Palin snubbing her at a rope line. It was pure gold.

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    1. Thank you so much Adrienne :-)

      Max is little more than a ghetto banger with expensive clothes. I'm lost on he Feedly though, maybe it's too early..

      I love anytime the media people get it handed to them. Acosta is so stupid Miller spanked him hard at a WH press briefing and he didn't even know it.

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  15. Joe Conservative- re: Eagle Scout status- homeschooled my son - encouraged him to go for EAGLE-


    interviewers for both the USMA and AFA --were impressed w/ EAGLE --as that is often a bench mark for acceptance- esp if there are many who wish to attend - THEN - one goes to a Senator or Representative
    for the Appointment--

    BTW- glad you got appointment - and thank you for your service !!

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