Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Weekly Meeting Minutes of the Optimist-Pessimist Club

As in each meeting, we begin by taking a secret ballot vote for which Middle Eastern city we are going to nuke.. Alright who voted for Washington, DC ?  Again we wait.

Given Mustang's ability to procure us a B1B on Ebay, we ask if he can add an Ohio Class Nuclear submarine with 24 Trident missiles to our arsenal.  Once we have this there will be no more voting. We'll just send the missiles to as many cities as we want !   (Yes, Fredd, we can save one for DC...)

Here's a picture of IMP test flying the B1B for us.  The room erupts in Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaa IMP! 



Here's hopefully our new sub just finished loading the missiles Mustang.  Yes, we can definitely have women aboard. DeBlade screams "Can I Drive - I want to drive !"  Yes of course sir.


And to give the ladies a heads up on where they may want to bunk, keep their lingerie, freshen up, etc, here is a schematic of our, again hopefully, new sub.



While Ms Z continues to hum Afternoon Delight from the last meeting, we unanimously approve doubling AOW's salary for doing such an impeccable job taking these minutes.  The money will be available as soon as it starts flowing in from the Go Fund Me website.

Kid actually starts singing the tune...
 Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight  Gonna grab some aftern...
Everyone yells "STOP!"

As I look over at Ms Z, I know she has some super ideas behind that devilish fire truck red lipstick smile and I think she is just waiting for the right moment to spring them on us.  Soon I hope Z.  Soon.
IMP takes the floor and points out that he just read that the latest Artificial Intelligence machine has achieved an IQ test score of a young child.  There you go, AI machines are already smarter than liberal progressives.

AOW wants to know why the kids love Apple so much when they have 100 Billion cash in the bank and are Number 1 at avoiding US Taxes And their products are made in sweatshops in China.   DeBlade says "The're Libtards!"  Oh yea.

IMP wants to start a new country of us Conservatives and start a GoFundMe site for our new country to get started.  Probably do a crowdfunding as well.  And he says we'll trick the libs into paying for it !  Great Idea IMP.  Once again, the room erupts "Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa IMP!"
Bocopro would like to give the room his thoughts on obama's foreign policy.  Wait, we're out of time!
Once again a very enjoyable and thought provoking meeting.
 Until next time.   

And always remember to shave in our new country lest you be confused for a mohammedan...



72 comments :

  1. I must admit that when Kid called me on the phone and told me he had a line on used ICBM “boomer” submarines, on sale for $12.00 each, I was excited. Then I reasoned that those prices, they had to be bathtub toys or models ... surely no one can buy a boomer for twelve bucks. But Kid has never been wrong before so I took down the number of his contact and a little while later gave the dealer a call. Kid was not completely wrong. Yes, we can get boomers —even several, but the price is not $12.00. The price is $120,000,000.00 —just a slight error is placing the decimal. Moreover, we would have to pick them up at Pavlovsk, Kraternyy, or Liepaja ... and we have to bring cash. Alternatively, we can purchase what is left of the Kursk and ask our resident squid to figure out how to put it back together, whose project this should have been anyway.

    Oh, and if you want ladies facilities, and actual missiles, the cost goes up. Right now the only thing you get out of the silos is this stupid thing (which scared the hell out of me).

    Well, that is all I have to say for now on my iMac (Apple) computer (as if Bill Gates isn’t a flamer).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mustang I just read your comment again, and damnit, I'm verklempt. I ask forgivness for missing the immense humor contained within your comment. Truly exceptional. It was however IMP's fault for Buzzing the tower just as I was replying...

      Delete
    2. "Right now the only thing you get out of the silos is this stupid thing (which scared the hell out of me)."

      Which I've been told by friends who've intercepted and opened Killary's most recent emails...was her recommendation for our boomers and Ovomit agreed to it as these ISIS boys were just a JV team anyway. And that should show them we're tough, we're mean and we mean business.

      As far as Kid's rounding error....that was a trap to rope you in Mustang. He was home schooled as I understand it so he knew what he was doing. Got my attention too I must say.

      Delete
  2. Mustang, 120 mil is not problem for our new Republic. There are seriously rich lib progressives who spend 120 mil a day. Wait until you see the flow form the GoFundMe site. You'll be a believer. And remember these things cost a trillion when they rolled off the assembly line. And we'll get one that has been checked out and seaworthy. May even have some lobster tail in the freezer. Maybe some King Crab too.



    ReplyDelete
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    1. The free lobster and crab is plentiful on the Kursk I'm told. Putey says we can have it. Just respect the old crew is all he asks.

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    2. IMP, Yes there will be good eating in the Kid Navy.

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  3. OK...wait a minute here!!!! I get to HUM but AOW gets a salary and a raise, to boot? Something's wrong with this picture! :)
    This is wonderful..just wonderful, I could read it again and again. What a LAUGH!
    Oh, and by the way, if you're running out of time, Bocopro is the last person I'd ask for foreign policy input on...it'd be the best foreign policy ever and it'll be LONG, so ask when you've got a few minutes :-) (Smile, Bocopro!!)
    ".....ooo ooo...Afternoon delight.........."

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thank you so much Z !

      Well, until you actually put forth some ideas Z, you must play 2nd fiddle. I'm planning for you to have some big big big ideas for the next meeting.

      Thank you Z.

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  4. I'm still reading it again and again before I really weigh in. Especially now that my cover is blown where everyone thought I'd retired. Now they see that I've been horsing about with a B1 and violating all kinds of FAA rules. To say nothing of the fact that I damn near turned that magnificent machine into a high priced yacht...Jeeez...whadda I gonna do? Whadda I gonna say? They'll yank my ticket, sure as hell now.

    And Ms. Z...you get to Hum because we all know the beauty of your voice. We'll have to discuss the thorny raise thing at another meeting. Lest we be accused of waging a war on women.

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    1. IMP, It's called Civil Disobedience. In your case, it is Civil Airborne Disobedience. Not to worry, I've got the right wheels generously greased and you're completely safe. And no tickets are required in the creation stage of the new America.

      What will we call it by the way? I'm thinking Z Country ! Or maybe just Z or Zed.. Or AOW, Or LisaLand. It's wide open. Hell we don't even have to have just one name. One day it could be Snake and the next day it could be Pliskin. And whatever it is it won't be what PuteyPute calls it. Arg Matey. However it shakes out it's gonna be Good.

      Delete
    2. I like all those names.......I wish I let my name be known here because Mr. Z and our friend Michael both had decided we needed to get away from America and buy an island ..and they named it....I'll email you.

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    3. Imp...thanks for the nice compliment.

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  5. I want in on the horney raise ...

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    1. The bosses don't get a raise.

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    2. Mustang, There ya go already. As White Cracker Asses, we go to the same house every Friday, knock on the same front door with the special knock and collect the same number of $100 bills. No wonder libtards think we be white cracker ass racisss peoples.

      Just sayin.

      If you need mo money, let's put a useless worthless product on TV with an overweight dumbass spokesman who will coerce people to pay 20 bucks for something that costs tree-fitty at Home Depot, and then gives em a 2nd one at no charge as long as they pay 10 bucks processing and handling....

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    3. Yeah, I like the TV marketing gig, but I'm saying that if Imp can get away with every civil aeronautics violation known to man on planet earth, in the aircraft I bought for you from my savings assisted living fund, an aircraft that YOU allowed him to fly, and he ends up being entitled to a horney raise (whatever that means), then I want one also. And if I don't get it, I start demonstrations numbering in the gazillions holding signs, "Mustang Lives Matter." But uh ... no raises for the squids. They carry diseases.

      Delete
    4. Ooh Mustang, I'm sorry you brought up the squids. They comprise the salary review board. I'll try talking to them for you.

      I'd have flown the B1, but while I could probably coax it off the ground, it would end in what they call a hard landing after the ejection seat had been activated around 5,000 feet with me in it.

      Delete
    5. Mustang - PS, you went to Home Depot today to check on the flex seal didn't you. I hope you negotiated a smokin deal on the stuff.

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    6. I did get a great deal, Kid. You buy one and get a second free, you just pay for handling and shipping. So with a deal like that, I ordered 42 ... that's 84 total of the flex seal and, with my AARP card, I got a 10% discount on everything under $50. I used the P. O. Credit Card, last four U812.

      Also, I rewired the ejection seat. You're good to go. Trust me. I found the operator's manual at an al-Qaeda website.

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    7. Mustang, I'm feeling some animosity here.... Especially in regard to the ejection seat...Note to IMP. Be careful on your next test flight.

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    8. Animosity? No way dude. We be tight. I'm hurt you'd even think such a thing. Hey Imp, tell me if I got this right: white is right, red is dead, and black is ground. Yes? I couldn't find a place for the green, so I just took it out.

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    9. Mustang. Green is libtard-ville and it needs to be taken out.

      Delete
    10. Mustang...yea...that's a 10-4 bud...green is for well after you see the white, followed by the red. Truth be told..it's red over white, pilots delight. Red over red...pilot be dead. White over white...we fly all night.

      Delete
  6. Loved the SONG. I'll never look at or think of SHHHHHHAVING CREAM again without laughing out loud. };-)> Now, if only Z could record it for us, the tune would take on a whole new –– broader, deeper, more inspiring dimension.

    The voice of the beautiful lady
    Was lovely; it made a great hit.
    Enraptured, I fell over backwards
    And into a big pile of SHHHHAVING CREAM ...


    Good luck with your attempts to found a NEW COUNTRY, but this old planet is pretty well taken up and worn out.

    May I suggest taking possession of a large ASTEROID, and starting all over again there –– as soon as you can find a way to produce oxygen and make water out of empty space, then grow crops on bare rock, etc.

    As for me, I'm too old for bold new ventures. My greatest ambition these days is to live long enough to witness the death of George Soros and attend Bill and Hillary Clinton's funeral.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ft, Glad you liked it. Yes Z could add new dimensions to the tune. That asteroid sounds a lot like Mars btw.

      Ok, You attend the funeral of the clinton's and I'll attend their grave site while singing I'll bet you wish you could write your name in the snow like me....

      Delete
    2. There are far too many possibilities yet available to abandon Mother Earth just yet. Yes, it is true that it’s pretty well populated, but we can fix that problem easily enough. For example, do you remember when states paid bounties for the killing of wolves? It had the effect of enriching hunters and depopulating wolves. What about this: suppose we created a program that paid Sunnis a bounty for Shi’ites? Cash on the barrel plus a weekend with Hillary Clinton.... Or, suppose we produced a series of public service announcements designed to inform Egyptians that Palestinians offer an important source of fiber? Or, we could simply Nuke Tehran during Ramadan and blame it on the Saudis. Soros died seven years ago ... what you see now is one of the actors from the Mission Impossible TV Series.

      Delete
    3. Mustang, the clinton offer has traction. They screw goats, so what's a hildebeast compared to a goat. (Don't tell me)

      I'm all for nuking Mecca at the right time, with a delayed leaflet barrage that says "Hello from the clinton family". Or insert you favorite libtard mobster family/group. Or, How about "Hello from the American democrats!". That'd go a long way.

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    4. I remember reading somewhere that a neutron bomb is capable of STERILIZING whole populations. Doesn't HURT 'em –– doesn't KILL 'em –– just makes it impossible for them to reproduce.

      If so wouldn't that be a neat, clean, genuinely humanitarian way to ensure the ultimate demise of those bothersome inhabitants of the Middle East? [The sound you are hearing is that of maniacal laughter.]

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    5. Kid, I think FT's idea is a darn good one, but I'd want to do this in a non-humanitarian way. Maybe not kill them but just so their peckers fall off, and maybe also their left hands. I'd also like to recommend FT for the idea of the month award of a free small fries at Mickey D's.

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    6. FT, I'd always heard the a Neutron bomb would kill the people but not hurt the buildings and such. Either way works though I guess. I will investigate this and if True I will have our Trident missiles converted to Neutron. Maybe.

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    7. Mustang. Done. FT, redeem your small fry award at the Mc D's of your choice. I like that - peckers fall off (They hate that) and no left hand to wipe their butts.

      Pure genius.

      Delete
    8. The idea of a Neutron bomb is a workable idea, IMO.

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    9. AOW, This is precisely why you are making the big money around here.

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    10. AOW, I have my scientists working on the Neutron bomb that will affect only humanoids and korans.. Wildlife will be unharmed. And no, none of them have every been climate scientists.

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    11. Kid,
      Now, THAT is the right kind of neutron bomb!

      Delete
    12. Thank you AOW. Don't wanna hurt no Kangaroo..

      Or cats, dogs, birds, etc..

      Delete
  7. I loove it when a blog post becomes a party in the comments section...this is terrific!

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    1. Z, Yes, it is a big mancat, female cat pawtee. Meow Baby.

      Delete
    2. Z,
      Back in the day, we used to have more blog parties in the comments sections. I miss those days and am so glad that Kid is resurrecting the idea of having some fun while blogging. Blogging can be dreary, dreary, dreary in these "interesting times."

      Delete
  8. Haha this was hysterical .I was going to suggest nuking. the ME and making it our new country. But Mecca and Tehran during Ramadan. Now that would be biblical

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    Replies
    1. Lisa, I'm really glad you liked it. I like your suggestions about Mecca and Tehran be ramadan. You should bring it up at the next meeting. We always need good nuking ideas.

      Delete
  9. we unanimously approve doubling AOW's salary for doing such an impeccable job taking these minutes

    Aha! The American Work Ethic pays off!

    Wait! I'm getting $0 right now -- and 2 x 0 = 0.

    Oh, well. I'll keep taking the minutes because the members of this club are among the last patriots in America.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AOW, No no, there's going to be real money with back pay just like the federal "workers" get as soon as it starts flowing in for my political campaign tip jar. I triple guarantee it.
      And again, you're doing a fabulous job.

      Delete
  10. Sadly, it's not only the rich Leftista kids who love Apple. This fact was brought home to me this week during the Econ class I'm teaching this year. For these "connected" kids, the online world has more reality than the real world, and they don't give a damn about keeping up with current events -- much less ideas more complex than updating their Facebook status and playing online games. These kids' brains are sieves, I tell ya!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you should take pictures of black lung disease and genital warts to class and show your students what happens when you spend too much time in fairy land and end up voting for Democrats. I tell ya, it's the least you can do.

      Delete
    2. AOW, These kids don't have much on the ball. Every once in a while I click on a site called gizmodo, supposedly a tech blog. Half the time, they're pushing lego products, adult coloring books and spewing leftist crap interspersed with, these days, 85% ad content. Nice money if you can get it.

      But seriously, lego, virtual realty, ikea stuff, video games, and really boring stuff they call auwsum, adorable, or badass. I figure it'll be another 20 years before any of them hit adult status.

      I like Mustang's suggestion too.

      Delete
    3. Kid,
      These kids don't have much on the ball.

      Neither do their parents for allowing their kids iPhones, iPads, etc., with no time restrictions.

      Delete
    4. Mustang,
      If I showed my classes those photos, the parents would accuse me of terrorizing their kids, sensitive little snowflakes.

      Delete
  11. Kid, I appreciate you letting me drive. However, I was talking about you letting me take the wheel of the actual attack sub. I'm still not sure why I am the only one working around here driving this fork lift thingy back and forth. I know you wanted me to load all the those long cylindrical pointy things that you said not to drop because they go boom. However, I just thought you should know that Mustang re-directed me, and had me loading a bunch of signs that say "Mustang Lives Matter." Just glad we're finally under way. Did I mention I'm claustrophobic? Not sure why I didn't get a window seat and am instead nestled tightly in steerage with a stack of these coloring pages to amuse me. Can you at least pipe in Z's singing through the speaker? All I'm getting is snoring from IMP's stateroom. *sigh*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I understand, DaBlade ... truly I do. But you see, it's part of the seniority arrangement Imp and Kid devised after 4 gallons of Cabernet. I objected, of course, but was voted down. I fought the good fight, but alas ... Meanwhile, we need a few more signs for an upcoming Occupy movement Kid is working on--so, could you take care of that when you're finished bellyaching?
      PS I bought you that coloring book out of my own allowance. Show some gratitude, will ya?

      Delete
    2. DeBlade don't pay any attention to Mustang. He's getting crotchety lately. You're driving the sub. And guess what? Z wants to learn how to drive so she'll be right next to you in the left seat operating the bow planes, and no doubt singing like a bird ! A bird with lipstick.

      Delete
    3. Sigh ... this is how mutinies start.

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    4. Mustang, not to worry, I've confiscated all the Cutlasses.

      Delete
  12. Thanks for the pe talk Kid. An I don't mean to seem unappreciative Mustang. Is this a good time to confess that I mistakenly launched your signs like so much chaff out the torpedo tubes?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have heard that confession is good for the soul, but you know ... Kid had his heart set n the Occupy movement demonstration in Las Vegas. I suppose now the whole thing has to be scrapped. I mean, you can't demonstrate outside strip clubs without signs. Don't worry, though, DaBlade ... we're buddies, and I have your back with that pric ... er, Kid. You know I'll do my best to straighten this out.

      Delete
    2. Mustang, well the problem is with all the heat from AOW, I have put the $25 I had saved for her salary that I had intended for the slots into a Christmas Club account, hoping to surprise her with $25.07 at the end of the year. I have no more money for Vegas now.

      Delete
    3. Is this a closed group, or can an outsider enlist?

      Delete
    4. Ed, We're always looking for crew members. Do you have a preferred position on the boat?

      Delete
    5. Ed, how are you at making signs that read MUSTANG LIVES MATTER?

      Delete
    6. Kid: I've been on a few Fast Attacks, but only one boomer.
      Mustang: I can't make inanimate objects read. Had a hard time getting the kids to do it.

      Delete
  13. They told me I should get an Oscar
    For rhymes filled with sparkling wit,
    But when I held out my hands to receive it,
    They gave me an urn full of SHHHAVING CREAM ...


    };-)>

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. FT, You're obsessed with the shhhhhhaving cream ;-)
      But that's Ok.

      Delete
    2. Hey, Kid, in case you hadn't noticed –– but I know you did ––– the whole world is being smothered to death with mountains and mountains of SHHHAVING CREAM. It's killing the crops, polluting the water, and making the air unbreathable. };-)>

      Delete
    3. FT, What can we do about this? I'm thinking higher taxes and less individual liberty will take care of this problem poste haste :) ?

      Delete
    4. But natch, Kid! When in doubt RAISE TAXES.

      Now, if only they'd get around to outlawing CANCER we might really start to have a better world. Maybe they should FINE people who get the disease? Punish the victims by confiscating their wealth. THAT ought to fix everything good and proper.

      On second thought it would help a whole lot more, if we just got rid of all the SHHHAVING CREAM, right?

      §;-D=

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    5. Yes FT, If we got rid of the serious A's, we might find ourselves in decent shape.

      Delete
  14. Missed the meeting again! (-:
    Carol-CS

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    Replies
    1. Carol-CS, There is always next week and the week after. :)

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