John Boehner's Final Plan Revealed and Translated

.

.

Speaker Boehner, Can you tell us about your plan that the evil hairy reid is on board with and helped you cook up along with mitch mcconnel ?

Well, geedle geedle gobble debt. President Obama demanded 800 billion more but we’re not giving it to him. Instead, we’ve drafted a plan that cuts 1.1 trillion of spending from traffabell gobblydedork tralfamadorian fleebers over 10 years. The performance of the plan is completely impossible to measure which is Cool !

Speaker Boehner, Can you tell us exactly where these cuts will be made and when ?

Well, of course, the first cuts will consist of 24 billion in the first year starting in October, 2011, and will be taken directly from the fleeber gaddlemadder program envisaged by the bellacan Mookerbleerbers. 

Of course, one must realize than any zergs and meeergs have to be deducted and added back in to be reduced later. Also remember that these are cuts against a totally ambiguous ‘Baseline’ budget cooked up by the CBO – Congressional Budget Office and as we all know those folks spend most of their time watching pron on the interwebs. I mean porn. Their numbers, like the ramblings of the global warming committees have about as much to do with reality as al gore has in common with Mother Teresa.

But make no mistake, we are holding this spend crazy president’s feet to the fire, and in another 8 months, we’ll authorize another 1.3 trillion in the debt limit to be balanced against 1.5 trillion in spending cuts over a number of years so great that no one, and believe me when I say No One will be able to even remember this deal that will be impossible to measure or reconcile. Make no mistake !

In closing let me say that reeefdar middle oofta crands yearg idle blegaar smirpoo findle!!  And God Bless America!

.

.